The math doesn't add up - page 12

by noyesno 17,803 Views | 132 Comments

I'm a math person, so it really bothers me when my manager asks us to do an additional task or duty without subtracting a current task or duty. The math doesn't add up. Our current duties take up a full shift. If you add... Read More


  1. 1
    Quote from BlueDevil,DNP
    Are you unwell or just confused? Or are you just not a nurse? Allow me to explain: if the patients remember their nurses, then the patients should be sending their nurses a thank you card. Really, this is absurd. Nurses do not thank patients for being patients. It is truly insulting to propose such a thing.
    Remember that many hospitals don't have "patients" anymore, but "clients" or "customers."

    When you change the words, you alter the relationship to a primarily monetary one. Given that premise, it's logical to send a thank-you as other businesses do.

    The actual wisdom of this entire view of people who come to a hospital for treatment is, at the least, open to question.
    lemur00 likes this.
  2. 5
    Quote from monkeybug
    Thank you, dear patient, for coming to us when you were in labor. Thank you further for choosing the local medical school to provide your obstetrical care rather than the group of private physicians that were also available, and then screaming the entire labor about "all those mofos in my business and in my dookie!" You could have chosen ONE doctor instead of a herd of doctors, but then what would you have had to complain about? By the way, what exactly is a dookie? Is that the same thing as a monkey or a pocketbook or a cat? Thank you, also, for your excessive lack of personal hygiene prior to your scheduled induction. Bathing probably takes too much time away from texting, tweeting, and threatening the putative father with child support. I just adore the smell of tuna left out in the August sun! Thank you for bringing your 8 visitors with you despite the sign and my polite reminders about only 3 visitors in the room at any one time. So sorry I couldn't provide a pallet on the floor as requested by that one particularly charming fellow. The verbal abuse I caught when I refused to part with 3 blankets so he could stretch out on the floor certainly broadened my horizons when it comes to profanity! My, but he is a poetic fellow. Thank you also for bringing your drama. I haven't gotten to see Jerry Springer all week because I'm employed, but this certainly filled in the gaps! To hear that you didn't discover you'd procreated with your second cousin until after it was "too late to do sumpin about it" really made my day. I'm an old fashioned girl, and always liked to know the last name of the person I was intimate with, thus sparing me those pesky incestuous situations, but I certainly see the excitement of doing it your way. And I was truly inspired with your mothering when you handed the baby back to me and told me you'd hold him after we cleaned him up, because he was "nasty." Yes, he probably was considering the entrance you provided him to the world. Thanks for refusing that tubal ligation, too, because we certainly hope to see you back here next year!"

    Yeah, I can see why I wasn't asked to design the cards for our unit.

    In all seriousness, I have sincerely thanked a few patients for letting me take part in their miracle, but not because I was forced to do it to satisfy Mr. Press and Mr. Ganey (I'm sure many nurses would like to meet these two alone in a dark alley some day). It totally loses all meaning if everyone gets a card. Honestly, I wasn't thankful for some of our patients, except maybe being thankful when they headed out the door.

    If that doesn't get someone hopped up to go into L&D, I don't know what will.
    DizzyLizzyNurse, tokmom, GrnTea, and 2 others like this.
  3. 1
    Quote from rngolfer53
    Remember that many hospitals don't have "patients" anymore, but "clients" or "customers."

    When you change the words, you alter the relationship to a primarily monetary one. Given that premise, it's logical to send a thank-you as other businesses do.

    The actual wisdom of this entire view of people who come to a hospital for treatment is, at the least, open to question.
    I disagree. Just b/c someone is a client doesn't take away the essential role/position of patient anymore than when someone pays for their education, they are no longer students. One real motivation behind referring to patients as clients, was to get patients to see their role of responsibility in their care and treatment, so that they could partner with health providers for optimal outcomes.

    Oh well . . .

    At any rate, maybe we could make up a new word. For example, claptients, could be used; but that brings to mind a STD or something. "Wait. I have to examine the clap in bed 3."
    rngolfer53 likes this.
  4. 1
    Monkeybug, I am not kidding here, but we once had a new mother who wanted to name her baby girl "Vagina." She said she heard someone saying the name while she was in labor, and just fell in love with it.
    whichone'spink likes this.
  5. 0
    Quote from applewhitern
    Monkeybug, I am not kidding here, but we once had a new mother who wanted to name her baby girl "Vagina." She said she heard someone saying the name while she was in labor, and just fell in love with it.
    I worked wtih someone who had worked previously in a large teaching hospital, and they told me that at one point there had been a big stink over residents suggesting names to patients (and patients taking them up on it) like syphilis, placenta, etc. I hope it wasn't the truth, but knowing the gallows humor most healthcare workers have, it wouldn't surprise me.
  6. 1
    Quote from samadams8
    If that doesn't get someone hopped up to go into L&D, I don't know what will.
    Can you walk in a crowded public place and immediately determine that someone in the room has trich? I guarantee you most L&D nurses can!
    Altra likes this.
  7. 2
    Quote from rngolfer53
    Remember that many hospitals don't have "patients" anymore, but "clients" or "customers."When you change the words, you alter the relationship to a primarily monetary one. Given that premise, it's logical to send a thank-you as other businesses do.The actual wisdom of this entire view of people who come to a hospital for treatment is, at the least, open to question.
    Ok so its a business. Is a bank teller going to be the one writing a thank you note? No,thats corporate's job.
    DizzyLizzyNurse and wooh like this.
  8. 1
    Quote from monkeybug
    Maybe it's a regional thing, but we heard it a lot. Dook or Dookie for vagina. I've given up being surprised at the names people will use when they could simply say "vagina."
    Thankfully am out of the setting where this word had been used with some frequency....and am now in one where it's never used......but the word "pooty" is stuck in my head permanently.
    monkeybug likes this.
  9. 0
    Quote from samadams8
    I disagree. Just b/c someone is a client doesn't take away the essential role/position of patient anymore than when someone pays for their education, they are no longer students. One real motivation behind referring to patients as clients, was to get patients to see their role of responsibility in their care and treatment, so that they could partner with health providers for optimal outcomes.

    Oh well . . .

    At any rate, maybe we could make up a new word. For example, claptients, could be used; but that brings to mind a STD or something. "Wait. I have to examine the clap in bed 3."
    Hmmm...now if only we could find a way to alter our entire cultural perception that a client is a person paying for and utilizing goods and services.... Then, surely there wouldn't be so much confusion....

    If that were actually the case and not just smoke and mirrors, then the terminology should have been changed to something befitting, like "partner."
  10. 4
    Isn't anybody concerned that the nurses giving the care are no longer doing the assessments and planning the care, since they are writing cards and the manager is doing all that?

    When is the manager going to have the time to do all those admissions, anyway? And reevals and new plans? I would seriously ask her this question.

    You could say, "Great! I can't tell you how much I would really like to sit in the break room and write cards while you do my admissions assessments and plans of care! Thanks so much!" and see what she says. You cannot write a plan of care on someone else's assessment-- you can look it up in the ANA Scope and Standards of Practice-- so she just bought herself a big chunka work.
    Firestarter_RN, VICEDRN, wooh, and 1 other like this.


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