Today when I was in report, waiting for rm #'s and nursing assignments, about the 3rd thing the charge nurse said was that Mrs. U passed away over the night. My reaction was instant, and i flinched a little. I got to know mrs. U and Mr. U pretty good, hving been the cna for them during approx 30-35 days. Mrs. U often made my day, still being able to smile. I've popped her for CBG double. Her husband was with her every day, never leaving during my day shifts. Sometimes Iyd see him when I worked a 12. Man, thats love. Renal, cardiac, bka: but she had a nice personality. Gosh.
Well, it does suck when someone you get to know dies, suddenly. i knew this would eventually happen to me. pretty much i feel bewildered, and now i took it home cause i am typing about it here. All the help she received, and encouragement from our staff, and me, to just pass away, she was tired, poor woman, in 40's, renal transplant, she did suffer, grafts, i work with some patients who have been in the hospital months. Diabetes is mean stuff. My own perceptions are kinda tilted down now, seeing a person die trying to live and get well. Since it happened at "work" I know I should leave these feelings of death at work, as a proffesional, but this is my first time and I think about Mrs. U now when it's quiet. I should alighn and cover my feeling, still being proper, but making my peace with it before i leave the floor. I'm sorry.
