Are many nurses products of abusive/drug dependent homes & parents? - Page 5

Kellyski and VivaLasViejas, I can relate.
Congratulations for rising up and out of the crap!
And thank you for sharing.

Good, loving home. My dad died a week before my parents' 55th anniversary. And although they were surprised that I wanted to go to nursing school way back in 1971, they were very supportive.

Still miss my dad, gone 11 years, and my mom, 2 years, my bro - my only sib - 5 years. Every day. Just 'visited' them all last week.

I think that statistic is simply made up.

Don't like to tell about p[personnel stuff but here goes. IO come from the wrong side of the tracks, we where poor but I never knew it. I had my first beer when I was 4 years old, first fight when I was seven the same year the Sisters of mercy took over my education. for nine years I thought every in the world was Irish Roman Catholic. Thank God for public school, At eighteen join the Air Force where I learned to kill people. went to college for another degree unrelated to nursing . Got the calling when I was 22. been a nurse ever since. Haven't talk to my mother or sister in 7 years. My wife is disabled with RSD and fibro In spite of all of this tragedy , I am happy.

When people spout "statistics" like that I want to also see two-sample t test that shows whether there is a difference between people that chose nursing (or it chose them) and people who are in other fields. The number in and of itself means nothing. Especially with no reference.

No drugs or alcohol drama past here, but it was not normal either. No sunshine or rainbows.

To the OP: If you can find a copy of Tanya Hugh's (not sure if that's entirely speelled right) book "I'm Dying To Help You", she published stats on your questions. Book was published in the 80's and one of the first about nurse addicts.

being as how approximately half of all marriages end in divorce, 85% doesn't look that high.

if the op's premise was that it was related to families with illness, divorce, or susbtance abuse (if i read it correctly), the the 85% looks even less startling. i think you're beginning to approach the population norms. i mean, if you said "85% of persons come from families with some illness, substance abuse, or divorce," not limiting it to nurses, that begins to make us a lot less "special."

me, i came from a family with illness. two of my three siblings had severe illness through much of their childhood, with multiple hospitalizations and occasional near-death. i (the oldest) got very interested in science and medicine and caregiving at an early age. besides, the hospital was the biggest employer in our little town, so that's where i got my summer jobs when i was old enough.

there is extant research showing that marriages of people with very ill children, or children who die, fail at a very high rate. in our case, the kids got better but the marriage got worse, and they separated when i was in my last semester of high school. but my nursing career was already in the cards by then.

it would be interesting to look at the marriage failure rate of nurses of all backgrounds. as caregivers, we tend to take responsibility for the relationship, according to a therapist i knew. we tend to let bad marriages go on longer than necessary. this was true in my case. fortunately, this also leaves open the possibility of learning how to do it better, and that was true in my case too.

I didn't know it either!
I thought everybody woke up with ceiling tiles on their bed and a wet carpet after a heavy rain...
I thought everybody woke up to find a complete stranger in their room because their house was so easy to break into...
I thought everyone got robbed every year...
I thought everyone lived in crap.
When I figured it out, I was very angry and bitter.
Today, I am not and have not been since I learned I can control where I go from there.
I think such a life will either break you or make you stronger. I have no clue what I had in me that did not make me give up and fight.
I didn't seek nursing, it came to me and I do believe it saved my life.
You take an awkward and directionless 18 year-old and make them responsible for the well-being of the most vulnerable people in our society and THAT shapes 'em up real quick.

I'm raising my hand. I'm another 'statistic.'

I grew up as the only child; however, I definitely was not spoiled or lavished. My father used crack cocaine during my early and middle childhood years. He drank heavily up until a few years ago. He was verbally abusive toward me during my childhood and adolescence, frequently reminding me that I was stupid and had a weight problem.

My parents' financial situation was disastrous due to my father's compulsive-addictive behaviors. I can recall feeling hungry on occasion as a child with no food in the refrigerator or cupboards. My father remained unemployed for several years, so my mother was the breadwinner. However, there were times when her income covered the monthly rent and nothing else.

My mother and father are still married. Although my father no longer drinks or uses drugs, he is now a compulsive gambler and has lost tens of thousands of dollars at casinos in recent years. Although I admit that my parents and I should have a closer relationship, forgiving and forgetting has been a difficult feat for me to accomplish.

There was a thread similar to this one a while back, I believe. I wouldn't know
how to link back to it.

Anyway, I also grew up in a pretty good home; parents are still together.
My mom, aunt, and sister in law were nurses, so it was destiny I think.

I think my life story hits just about every statistic --) father is a high functioning alcoholic, mother a major depressive who would take to bed for months on end, parents fought constantly, my father and my (older) brother fought physically. I have my own mental health issues. On top of that, my father is a doctor and my mother did foster care for children with medical needs; and my sister was born with a severe congenital heart defect, so I spent many of my younger years in hospitals.

(I have a spotty memory of my childhood but one of my earlier memories is of my father taking me and my younger sister to his job - he is an ER doctor - because my mom was in the psych hospital after trying to kill herself. I helped the unit secretary answer phones!)

However, I can't say that I am a "fixer" by any means. In fact, I'm pretty much the opposite, and tend to get angry with people who resolve their own issues.