Management Euphamisms....add yours now!

  1. I got inspired for this thread by the one on Admin Support.

    Let's all post those management euphamisms that we all know and love. I am sure many people have plenty to share. I'll start ...

    Management Term/Euphamism....... What it really means

    Trouble maker .............. Patient Advocate

    Can you facillitate this?................. Do it, you have no choice

    I need you to take this pt ........................ SUCKER!!
    b/c you are the strongest .............................................
    nurse I have.............................................. ..........

    (Hate to admit I have used this one!)

    Thank you for being so flexible...........Your night's gonna suck...
    .................................................. ......................again!

    Let's keep 'em going.....
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  2. 35 Comments

  3. by   CEN35
    kinda speechless on this one? time to keep quiet :d

    me
  4. by   LoisJean
    Don't ever fall for this one......

    "I've called everone on the list and you're my last hope ...."

    Translation: "You're really the FIRST one on my list.....gotcha! "
  5. by   frustratedRN
    my fav:
    thats something we are looking into

    meaning....
    we know, we just dont care....lol
  6. by   OC_An Khe
    My all tme favorite

    Be queit and just be thankful you have a job
  7. by   BrandyBSN
    It could apply to university professors as well

    Hand it in by monday at 7am- meaning, I have no social life on weekends, why should you?

    This is really an easy concept - Meaning, I have been doing this for 20 years, and I like to make you feel dumb.

    Please read pages 1-300 in your book for tomorrow - meaning, I am a grad student, and I finally get to assign you homework (physics... ick)

    This assignment shouldnt take you very long - Meaning, buckle in and grab the caffiene, this is going to be a long semester.
  8. by   nur20
    Originally posted by ocankhe
    My all tme favorite

    Be queit and just be thankful you have a job
    THIS I BELIEVE: THOSE WHO CAN..DO. THOSE WHO CAN'T...TEACH
  9. by   kaycee
    I think we'll all agree that upper management's only lines are:
    We'll check into that
    I'll get back to you on that
    It's not in the budget
    More money?? I thought you were here because you care!
  10. by   ubcnme
    On the issue of money:

    "We're getting a facelift!" (remodeling)=We found money to remodel and make ourselves look good to the county commissioners even though your wages are crap and don't compare to the hospitals/nursing homes....suffer!
  11. by   frustratedRN
    we always have money to remodel. we dont have money for pens tho.
    staffing either.
    or raises.

    the nice thing about remodeling is that the place looks so nice you forget about how overworked you are...the patients forget about how understaffed we are.
    maybe remodeling is a euphanism in itself.
  12. by   Enright
    I always hated "paradigm shifting" . I stood up in a meeting once and asked the speaker "what the hell are you talking about"...and she couldn't define the term! Of course I didn't last long there!

    Then there is "thinking outside the box" and "learning curve". Once as a line manager I was trying to fire a malingerer and the VP told me that perhaps I hadn't considered this employee's learning curve....hey, she'd been there 11 years! I often found in the management world that people hid behind the trite phrases to avoid having to do anything.
  13. by   aimeee
    How about "you'll have to be creative"

    translation: We don't have the money, knowledge, desire, or resources to solve the problem so if you want the problem solved you will have to come up with something on your own.

    And then there's "the XXXX committee is studying that"

    translation: We don't really want to change anything but we want it to appear as if we are responding so we are having people spend a year in useless meetings discussing it.

    Oh, and here's a new word for you all to use to refer to meaningless phraseology--we call it "bafflegab".

    And did you ever see the game you can play at useless meetings called "buzzword bingo"? We should make up one especially for healthcare.
  14. by   P_RN
    "Don't work harder, work smarter" translates as

    "I get to go home at 3 and you don't 'cause I think you are dumb as a bag of hammers. And whatever you do, I can find fault with it tomorrow."


    There is a wonderful site about Bullying on a UK webpage.

    When you read it you WILL recognise some or ALL of these management euphemisms.

    Over here I don't think I have ever heard it called BULLYING but that's exactly what it is.

    Read and observe.

    http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/amibeing.htm
    Last edit by P_RN on Sep 25, '01

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