Male Nurse Disgusted by Female Nurses - page 10

Hi Beth: I believe you submitted a recent article about Safe Patient/Nurse Ratios in this country. I have been a nurse for about one year and a half and I am appalled by what I have observed with... Read More

  1. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from Truth_be-told
    You could not be more correct. If a female graduate in some male dominated profession was treated the way I was or have been trying to get a career, say law enforcement, I would be have been awarded millions many times over for 1/100,000,000 of the discrimination i had to go through both getting through nursing school and trying to gain employment. It is supposed to be enshrined in the US Constitution against discrimination based on gender, yet this supposed right is routinely violated and there are no checks or means to enforce this. Voice your grievances against what is FLAGRANT violations of your supposed Constitutional rights, and you will be brushed aside or told you are 'too sensitive' as there are virtually no protections against this raping of your rights. Trying to get a lawyer to represent you, when there is no money for these bloodsuckers to make, is like wiggling your toes at a hurricane. Never going to happen, and is hard to prove. Just reflect on this. How many male nurses have you encountered, in say, hospice?? In my several decades of experience, not ONE MALE NURSE. I applied at one hospice place, seasons hospice, but the 'talent recruiter', told me they were seeking other candidates. I have Bachelor's degree in education as well as a two year associate's degree in respiratory therapy and they were 'actively seeking other candidates'. I still have the rejection voice mail from a certain Stacey and have been tempted to post it on youtube. Those of you who work in the field, how many male nurses have you seen in the hospice field? Well if you are honest and have any integrity, you would be lying if you saw any, perhaps one or more. So don't poo poo male nurses who are the last ones hired and the first ones fired. Discrimination is an ugly 2 way street which only affects male nurses because we have no protections and people think we exaggerate or whatever so the flagrant abuses against our supposed rights are routinely raped by others who focus on scratching each other's eyes out. No protections at all from those who are supposed to be ethical enough to trust other people's lives and well being in their hands. Frightening, truly frightening, yet happens on a routine basis
    Oh Good Lord! Drama much? I can see a few good reasons why you might not be hired.

    As far as discrimination -- As a male, you have benefitted from the patriarchy. I find it difficult to get all riled up about your "rights" being trampled upon now when women have been run roughshod over by patriarchies for thousands of years. Even in nursing, men are disproportionately promoted to management positions and are paid more per hour than women with the same (or greater) education and experience. (And yes, hospice, too. The only hospice nurses I know are men.)
  2. by   joe007
    The only way nursing will not be abused is through unionizing i.e. National Nurses United and through crippling strikes.
  3. by   Farawyn
    Quote from OldDude
    I agree that men simply choose to avoid many areas of nursing. I know it's true for me. The only time I've been discriminated against for being a guy is when I would get called to restrain a combative patient or to help with a heavy lift transfer...and you know what? I'm OK with that on many levels. I think, overall, men are not "nurturers" and want to "fix" it and move on and avoid those environments otherwise.
    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    Yeah I don't view wrestling with the insane drunk guy or picking up a huge patient as discrimination at all
    No, nor do I see inserting catheters or checking locia or other stuff of that ilk discrimination.
    There are differences in us, physically. I've been hit, groped, etc. I appreciate help, whether it's 2 more female nurses, or one burly male nurse.
    Thanks for that, guys.
  4. by   fibroblast
    Quote from brap740
    His point is.....it wouldn't be so terrible if the culture wasn't so toxic. But here we are, and here you are.....being toxic.

    You can't deny what he complains of-lack of unity-is very much so accurate.
    As I've stated, if I was a man stating what I wrote, you wouldn't have made that comment.

    Men are more valued in the nursing profession, (or I should say 'trusted'). We are paid less because we don't have the physical capacity to do some jobs (maybe an aggressive patient, we call the man), but we shouldn't get paid less. We should all leave the profession, then maybe the CEO's will see us as valuable.
  5. by   HealthCat
    I'm a nursing student so I can't speak for nurses or the professional politics. But none of you should be speaking for entire genders.

    Having worked as the only woman in a male dominated workplace, I can say that I've never seen nastiness taken to such an extreme level, both between the guys and toward me. Are all men catty? No.

    I've worked as a CNA with all female coworkers who were incredibly supportive and helpful to me, the incompetent newbie. I went to an all female college and have had die-hard friends from there for 20 years now. Are all women supportive and helpful? No.

    The nurses at my CNA job, male and female, were the WORST. Rude apathetic, incompetent and lazy. Are all nurses nasty? No!

    And for those of you who despise or dislike working with or befriending an entire gender, I feel sorry for you. What a small life you lead.

    "I don't like working with women because they're x, y or z."

    Now replace "women" with:

    "Jewish people"
    "Black Americans"
    "Little people"

    See how that sounds.
    Last edit by HealthCat on Jan 30 : Reason: Spelling error
  6. by   wondern
    I enjoyed reading the article but the title is disgusting to keep reading.

    I guess this guy said it and it is an eye catcher for sure but just rereading that sentence over and over is well what it says.

    Good job, Nurse Beth, for getting us thinking more about our gender roles and reinforcing that we are all in this thing together, disgusted or not! At least that's how it left me feeling in the long run.
    Last edit by wondern on Jan 31
  7. by   AnnoyedNurse
    As a male nurse, I want to just say that this nurse uses some harsh language towards our female counterparts and in my opinion leads me to believe that he might be somewhat of a mysoginist and if he is married, he usually calls his wife a drama queen instead of taking responsibility for his actions.

    I agree- nurses are apathetic when it comes to political change. Even in the unionized environemnt that I work in, some nurses are "afraid" of being fired by management.

    Prior to becoming a nurse, I envisioned myself becoming a nurse manager and growing the ranks and becoming a Chief Nursing Officer. Now that I have been a nurse for a little over 3 years, I would rather die than become a nurse manager or worse a CNO. Once you join management, you immediately become the servant of the corporation. As a bedside nurse, I would rather be the healer and serve my patients needs.

    Now, I am fully engaged in political action and changing nursing and bringing safe ratios to light. I am working with my union, NJSafeRatios, and legislators to change our profession. It's not JUST about getting our breaks and lunches, but it's abiut patient safety.

    Starting now, let's Unite. Let's not argue over how much of a coward the O.P was for being "disgusted" by his fellow female colleagues. Let's instead focus our energy on improving our profession and improving the quality of care our patients receive.

    Follow me me on Twitter @ahmadCCRN and stay up to date on all happenings in NJ for safe staffing.
  8. by   Eschell2971
    Hello:

    Unfortunately, I agree with this male nurse. As a female RN, I OFTEN discuss female communication tactics & emotionalism with my colleagues. One of the primary reasons for all the arguing, 'taking things personally,' and other infantile behavior is that we females are typically acting out of our emotions, rather than out of a sense of professionalism & maturity.

    I find it very offputting to say to another nurse, albeit a male nurse, that nursing is "our world" and he is just operating in it. He is a professional, and that should be what matters. Period.

    Just as many females chatter amongst ourselves and frequently chastise men for some of their normal, male, behaviors, so should we females begin to self-assess and realize that each sex has their strengths & weaknesses, and we need to build/improve from those points.

    We females DO gossip, lollygag, and bring too much personal stuff into the workplace. We fuss & fight, pout & nag, with each other, not to mention hold grudges to the point we get so focused on "She said/She did/She looked at me," foolishness. Men, on the other hand, may get upset, even go chest-to-chest, and then, give them a ball, and they have forgotten everything that just happened in the last 30minutes.

    If you come to my workplace, you will frequently hear me saying, "Where are the men? We sure could use some testosterone to balance out this estrogen," but, unfortunately, I believe I know why more men are not/do not want to come into nursing.

    And, from a rational, standpoint, I can't say that I blame them. Too many women, everyday, for 12hrs, and then they go home to their wives & daughters!
  9. by   Have Nurse
    Ok but did you really need to lamb baste the poor guy? LOL!
  10. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from Have Nurse
    Ok but did you really need to lamb baste the poor guy? LOL!
    Lamb baste? I've never cooked a lamb; is it usual to baste it?

    As for the guy -- probably shouldn't be basting him as we shouldn't be cooking him to begin with.
  11. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Eschell2971
    Hello:

    Unfortunately, I agree with this male nurse. As a female RN, I OFTEN discuss female communication tactics & emotionalism with my colleagues. One of the primary reasons for all the arguing, 'taking things personally,' and other infantile behavior is that we females are typically acting out of our emotions, rather than out of a sense of professionalism & maturity.

    I find it very offputting to say to another nurse, albeit a male nurse, that nursing is "our world" and he is just operating in it. He is a professional, and that should be what matters. Period.

    Just as many females chatter amongst ourselves and frequently chastise men for some of their normal, male, behaviors, so should we females begin to self-assess and realize that each sex has their strengths & weaknesses, and we need to build/improve from those points.

    We females DO gossip, lollygag, and bring too much personal stuff into the workplace. We fuss & fight, pout & nag, with each other, not to mention hold grudges to the point we get so focused on "She said/She did/She looked at me," foolishness. Men, on the other hand, may get upset, even go chest-to-chest, and then, give them a ball, and they have forgotten everything that just happened in the last 30minutes.

    If you come to my workplace, you will frequently hear me saying, "Where are the men? We sure could use some testosterone to balance out this estrogen," but, unfortunately, I believe I know why more men are not/do not want to come into nursing.

    And, from a rational, standpoint, I can't say that I blame them. Too many women, everyday, for 12hrs, and then they go home to their wives & daughters!
    Please don't speak for WE.
    You certainly don't speak for ME.
    You've reduced US, men and women, both, to the most basic stereotypes. The hapless male who can forget all with a good game of football. The sniping woman who can only tear down and not build up.

    Is this based in personal observation? Because I don't see any citing...
  12. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Have Nurse
    Ok but did you really need to lamb baste the poor guy? LOL!
    We are all adults here. He went fishing with good bait, and "the poor guy" caught a big one.
  13. by   JKL33
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    Lamb baste? I've never cooked a lamb; is it usual to baste it?
    I think lambraising is more like it.

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