March 5, 2007. My first night of LPN Nursing School. I was sick to my stomach, nervous as a cat, and ready to quit before I started. Sheer determination made me walk through that door to the classroom and find a seat. Sheer stubbornness kept me coming back night after night, and giving up my weekends. It took me 40 years to get to that point. I had tried for 5 years to be able to enroll and take the spot where I was sitting in now, but life got in the way. I had a parent who needed surgery (twice) right when classes were starting, financial aid that didn't come through, and a parent's death. The program director introduced herself. She seemed friendly and nice. Later was I to learn what a not so nice person she really was. As I got through several classes, I found myself enjoying Anatomy, and disliking everything else. I was terrified I would flunk out. I had a talk with myself and gave myself a stern butt kicking. I told myself it was better to try and fail than not try at all. Nobody could tell me what this experience would be like. Even my best friend who had gone through a full time program wouldn't offer any advice or tips. All she would say was "You'll figure it out on your own soon enough." Sure enough, I did. I learned many things during this first year: *Study your bum off. You can't learn if you don't read and study it often. *Ask questions. If you don't, you're sunk. *Think of ways to remember things. I got through the Heart test by singing the Bayer Asprin commercial. I couldn't get it down in my head until I found the words to the commercial and started singing them. Looking at the words and singing it in my head made it all click. (Thank you, Schoolhouse Rock! You saved me again!) *Lots and lots of coffee. I'd be lost without my cup o' joe. It's also the perfect excuse to take a needed study break. I could always justify a break when I needed to make a pot. *Index cards to remember incidental things and big things. Reviewing them before the big test has given me better grades than I could have hoped. If I ran out of index cards, I write everything on notebook paper and carry it with me to review during the day of the test. Reviewing while in the bathroom got to be a habit quickly. Nobody disturbs you when you are in the bathroom. It's a few minutes of peace and quiet. Most times. *Get paperwork done early. I stress a lot less when I know my paperwork is done and turned in. This was difficult to do since I'm the great procrastinator. *Keep mouth shut, stay under the radar, and play the game. You won't win with nursing instructors, and there is no sense in trying. Smile and nod, and say Yes, Ma'am, No, Ma'am, Yes, Sir, and No, Sir. You will save a lot of grief. March 3, 2008. The new part time class started that night. I peeked in the room and saw a large class, probably just as nervous as I was a year ago. I wondered if they knew what they were getting themselves into. Mentally, I wished them all luck, knowing they would need it. They were also getting the better instructors than I have. I also wondered how many would be there in the end. One of my classmates caught me in the hall and pointed to the new students. It really rang home with her when I said "That was us a year ago." We both looked at each other with a sense of amazement and accomplishment. My classmate said "Kylee, we made it through the first year." I nodded, smiling. Then I turned my back so she couldn't see me wipe the tear from my eye. I made it through the first year! Then I started thinking about all of the things I have learned. *Dressing changes *Bed baths, AM and PM care *Vital signs *Foleys and straight caths *Pulling IV's *Giving injections *A world of other things I have been pushed and pulled in many directions. I have been challenged beyond my wildest dreams, and I've come through. I've surprised myself. Things I would have thought were impossible a year ago are now things I do on a routine basis. I don't say "I can't" anymore. I say "I will try". I amaze myself every day. It has been a long and stressful year with another one to go. As much as I complain about Nursing School being awful, I really know this was the best decision I have ever made and followed through on, and it will be so worth it in the end.