leaving with your pride and dignity intact

P_RN, ADN, RN · Mar 3, 2002

The new person was management?

I've only left two jobs, both times my choice. The last one my back gave me my excuse.

I guess in this case I might retract my "don't burn your bridges" philosophy and just tell his/her boss I'm leaving and why.

Most of the time, I believe you can give at least minimum notice.

The one time I didn't was when I had NEVER worked in a hospital and the first day there they told me I WAS the asst head nurse on a pediatric floor. I just backpeddled as fast as I could.

night owl · Mar 3, 2002

It's good that you got out of that rat-infested hole. Had you given notice, the rats may have eaten you alive! Upward and onward!

Jenny P · Mar 3, 2002

Tigger2sassy, after reading your post in the workplace mobbing thread, I don't blame you for leaving. Just keep telling yourself that you were an asset to that facility before the night witch came, and you are still a good nurse. I would go talk to the HR dept. of the facility and ask to see your file. Number each page in succession in your file, and then add your own response to why you left the facility (and number that one also!). Write on the front and also the inside of the file the number of pages that are there. Be sure to read all of the good reviews, etc. to also help you realize that you are a good nurse!

Then, clean the dust of that place off of you and move on! There is a whole world of places that would love to have you on board, because you ARE a good nurse. Move on with your head held high and your self respect intact.

Good Luck! :)

Teshiee · Mar 4, 2002

One of the things we have to realize what we do is a "JOB". We have so many stressors in our lives we don't need to work in such misery. You did the right thing. Your peace of mind is worth more. It is sad when you try to do the right thing and you are still not getting the results. Leave! Leave! I know places where we work have their perks and downs but you can choose what you will tolerate and not. I wont work for a hospital that feels that MD's can walk all over you, even though nasty doctors are everywhere! I say good luck to you. And do what makes U happy.

mattsmom81 · Mar 6, 2002

Tigger, my experience is that we can make a difference in our jobs IF our managers are supportive. That "if" will always make or break a job for me. I have tried to buck a bad manager and it has always backfired in one way or another. It is just heartache to stay and fight, in my experience, and I have learned to keep my 'antennae' up and leave a facility quickly and quietly if I encounter a sadistic, manipulative, destructive management environment.

If questions come up about the quick exit in future interviews, stress the fact that that you and the management team "were not a good fit" and that you "learned a lot about yourself" through this experience. Avoid bashing( because potential employers will be afraid you may bash them someday.)

I know it hurts now but you will get through this with a stronger sense of who you are--promise! Best wishes!

lever5 · Mar 6, 2002

This kind of S*** happens to nurses all the time. Bullies find fertile pickings in our ranks. Is it not the kindest, nicest, bestest, most vulnerable amoungst us that is the best target for them? Know them for the nasty bully's that they are. I actually sold a house and moved out of an area to get out of a situation like that. The worst part of the whole thing is, the doubt that follows you in your own ability. How do you prove to yourself and others that you are a good nurse. I fight with this all the time. I seek more education, more certifications, but none of it works because there is a seed of doubt in my mind planted by mean people. I don't know if I will ever get over it, but you know what. The patient gets a better nurse, more educated, more aware.

lever5 · Mar 6, 2002

I had already pulled the quick exit when I left without notice from a New York hospital that wanted me to do peds without orientation. With no backup, and having to mix my own medications. So in the future when I did not like the way things were going, I found a way to leave without causing me further problems with my resume. Now, the travel nursing allows me to leave every job.

wildhoney · Mar 6, 2002

Originally posted by tigger2sassy
how does one try to leave a facility that you thoroughly enjoyed working for, worked so hard to keep morale going upbeat only to have one person come along and smash everything-- i recently left without notice because of certain issues-- harassment, belittling of the other nurses, intimidation, threats of jeopardizing your license, etc. i made an attempt to voice my concerns and it seems no one listened, so after a week of this hell i decided to leave-- now how is a person supposed to feel and encourage other nurses that they don't have to put up with this?

That's very unfortunate.

I think you did a good thing and you shouldn't feel bad about it. It will probably change once they see more people leaving. I've experienced that. I voiced my concerns during my exit interview (as I cried my eyes out because I was so afraid to speak up). It's very stressful when you have to go through something like this. What's done in the dark will be brought to the light eventually....all the b.s. You all have to get together, write things down and gang up on 'em all. It's best that you're gone.

A little blurb I read somewhere comes to mind...I try to remember it when I lose my focus.

Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls.

The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity.

And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally

come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it

will bounce back. The other four balls-- family, health, friends,

integrity are made if glass. If you drop one of these, it will be

irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And

once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you

will have the beginning of balance in your life.

I have a feeling you're going to come out of this winning.

wolfox · Mar 6, 2002

Mattsmom and Lever are so right... there are nasty bullies out there..nurses who would step over a dying patient just to twist a knife in the back of a fellow nurse. The whole time mouthing some hypocritical garbage about "good patient care." And in some environments that c**p flourishes and patient care suffers because management rewards and feeds into it rather than stopping it.

I've found that once that starts, there is nothing you can do to turn it around in your favor, or to fix it for the patients. And the stress will consume your life outside of work.

There are no utopias in the work place. But there ARE jobs where you leave work feeling satisfied and happy with what you've done. Where you are rewarded for a good job done, and where you look forward to going to work in the morning.

Time to shake off the dust of that place. When you are looking for a new job...look around and pick up "vibes" around the place. Pick a job where people seem friendly and satisfied even if it is not exactly what you saw yourself doing. Better to learn something new from people who are willing to teach.

Chuckie · Mar 16, 2002

I was seriously harrassed into leaving my last job by 3 RN's with many years of experience. It started with gossip then then turned into a sabatage of almost every aspect of the work I did. It got so bad that I would go to work immediately and not be allowed to talk at all to any of them. I was told I didn't manage my time well by one because he felt like saying it. He had no clue as to what went on that day and when I gave him report for evening shift with 5 minutes before my shift was over he told me to go finish up now. He refused to do it. Some of my policies and forms were changed just two words then someone elses name was placed on the bottom just to let that person get the credit.

I moved on changed jobs and now walk around with a smile on my face. These people are still in their miserable states of mind. Oh well the best thing to do is just move on.

135ctv · Mar 17, 2002

I left a PRN position last week for similar reasons. I enclosed a couple of good articles on workplace mobbing with my resignation letter. Would like to think that they were read with interest but, in reality, I think that the message probably fell on deaf ears. Luckily, I already have a full time job that I love. The aggrevation of the PRN job was not worth the small amount of pay I would have received.