I am in need of some encouragement/advice about where I stand right now with my job.
I graduated nursing school in May 2016 and have been working on a general pediatric floor in a Children's Hospital for 1 year and 2 months. This job was my first choice and I felt so blessed and lucky to get the job, and initially I was super excited about it. Very quickly after beginning orientation I began to realize that bedside nursing wasn't for me. There are so many aspects about the job that I don't like, but the 2 main things that I don't like are 1. how much anxiety I get before going into work each time and 2. being so busy that my phone is ringing off the hook, running non stop, and RUSHING to get everything completed, all which makes me feel like I can't be the nurse I want to be and unable to do my job throughly. Other smaller reasons are the 13 hour shifts and working nights has taken a toll on me. The times that I am not running around like crazy, I enjoy the job more because I feel like I can check on my patients and complete tasks without being stressed about other things weighing on my shoulder.
I have a 2 year contract and truly want to complete my contract on this floor because I am not one to quit and I know I will feel accomplished when my 2 year mark comes.
One thing I have found interesting is that in this hospital we get pulled to other floors and a lot of the time its going to the NICU. I actually enjoy working in the NICU more than my own floor. I realize we are given the easier babies, but the NICU is 10x more structured than the floor, and I feel like I am making more of a difference in the NICU.
I am very discouraged because I feel like I am the only one who doesn't "love" their job at this Children's Hospital. I am a very efficient person and I desire to be the best nurse I can be. I am going to stick this out until my contract is over and see where I stand, but my questions to you guys are if I don't like bedside nursing... then is nursing even for me? Do I not have the right personality if I have a lot of anxiety and worry with this kind of job? Where are some areas that you think would suit me better... or have suited you better rather than bedside nursing? Have any of you left bedside nursing for a clinic job or school nursing?
I am shadowing a school nurse next month and have also thought about looking in to pediatric clinics. I have also thought about public health, but I don't know very much about it.
Any advice, encouragement, personal stories are appreciated!