All my life I wanted to be a Nurse. I worked as a laborer in various areas, was very good at what I did at every job, then decided what the heck, I'll give it a shot. With the support of my wonderful husband, I entered Nursing at our community college and got my RN a little over 2 years ago.
Mostly, I love my job, but I feel as though I seriously have clinical depression. I have gained 50 pounds in the last 10 years, and if I gain any more, I will REALLY be frustrated! But, that can be fixed. I feel as though I am not as "smart" as the other RN's that I work with, (although I am intelligent to know that I would NEVER develop a "I know everything atitude") but I'm able to function well enough to provide safe patient care. My patients, for the most part, think I am wonderful, and that keeps me going. I do not sleep well, and I feel like all I do is work and sleep, anyway. I have discussed this with my Dr., I have been to a psychologist, who suggested that I divorce my husband (who is a well-functioning bi-polar patient, for the most part). I think that all they see is that I maintain a sense of humor about life and that I am able to do what I need to do to get by. I guess that what I'm saying is that I really feel let down; that life is very seldom a bowl of cherries. I spoke to my hubby, who was very surprised to hear that I feel this way. My youngest got married to a wonderful woman 3 months ago and my daughter is pregnant with my second grandchild; I should be thrilled to be alive, but I am not. I was really surprised to see that the psychologist didn't suggest that there might be a problem, but she has the degree and I do not. Am I making way to big of a deal here? I have a few friends, and am lucky to be able to say that they will always be there for me. At work, I am told I am too outspoken by some of the staff. The CNA's love me, I help them as much as I can. And yes, I do have my friends at work! I am soooo sorry that this post is so long, and I don't expect professional advice here, but does anyone else feel this way????