Job loss, domestic violence, help on advice for getting back on the horse!!!!!!

  1. Hi everyone,
    I havent visited for a while because my life fell apart. The nursing home I was working for wasnt working out, My husband had back surgery two years ago and has been on oxycodone. The last three months have been a nightmare, his drug use out of control. YES this pain medication creates addicts. It is like living with a manic depressive, when they are high, they are out of control happy and manic and full of 'crazy' energy. I gave him an ultimatum, get help or get out, by Christmas. Wouldnt you know it, Christmas day evening he lost it and beat me up. He has been in jail ever since. I had given my notice at the LTC facility a while back due to circumstances there and due to the chaos at home, (I was afraid to leave my boys alone with him). I feel like an idiot, I should have done something sooner, but in 11 years of marriage he has never touched me. Never underestimate the power of drugs, huh? (Although as a nurse, I would never touch someone who was in the state he was in, but when you are home, and in your relationship, you dont always think like a nurse!)
    OKAY, so besides all the sordid details, I need a job and I need it NOW. I am going to lose my home, and I swear, there isnt anything out there! Maybe because I am so desperate, but if anybody has any advice at all about finding a job, please please send it my way. I already have my children and myself in counseling regarding the domestic violence issue, since they were there. The whole emotional aspect is devastating, but it has been long enough that my bruises and psyche are starting to heal. I just need a job right now!!!!!!
    Anybody?
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  2. 41 Comments

  3. by   TazziRN
    All I can do is offer you a hug. I'm so sorry, but please don't feel like an idiot. You did nothing wrong.
  4. by   mvanz9999
    Have you posted and searched online, contacted recruiters, applied at agencies?
  5. by   RNfromMN
    Hard for me to say, because I've really only had to worry about myself, but if it were me, I'd get any job - and I'm talking anything: McDonalds, something at the mall, housecleaning, whatever - just to hold onto while you're looking for something better.

    The first time I ever moved out on my own, I told my boyfriend at the time that I just couldn't find anything, the only jobs out there were things I'd never even consider and he told me to go for it anyway. I said something to the affect of, "I don't want to work there!" And he said, "Yeah, but it's a job." Meaning, even $5.00 an hour is better than nothing.

    So, for just any old job advice, I'd recommend going to a hotel. I've been working in hotels for almost 10 years, & they're always hiring for something. No experience needed.
  6. by   TheCommuter
    :icon_hug: (((((here's a hug)))))

    I am so sorry to hear about all that has occurred in your life recently. I, too, had noticed your absence from this forum and had been wondering where you went. I would apply to every single healthcare facility located within a 50 mile radius from your home. Good luck to you. I hope you can save your home, obtain work, and find the light at the end of the tunnel.
  7. by   GardenDove
    It sounds terrible. Maybe you can get a roomate to help with the kids? Do you have family nearby? How old are your kids?

    I agree, just get any job for now, or apply for public assistance as a stopgap. Maybe you can contact a domestic violence agency for referals. You need help and support right away, this is a life crisis situation. Good luck.
  8. by   gr8rnpjt
    ((((((Hugs)))))) to you. My little boy and I went through similar situation over Christmas. How come these knuckleheads pick a holiday like Christmas to do these things so the kids have a lasting memory of the holidays for years to come? And he probably told you that you ruined hisholiday!
    As far as jobs go, Dr. offices, other LTC facilities, hospitals, etc. Look at the nearest city, for bigger teaching hospitals that may be hiring. Good luck to you.
  9. by   lvs2nrs3535
    Quote from mvanz9999
    Have you posted and searched online, contacted recruiters, applied at agencies?
    I am posting and searching online, (even as we speak ) agencies dont want me because I am a new nurse with only 4 months experience, they want at least a year. I wanted out of long term care, but I may have to go back there. I have been working cleaning houses, (it is better money than McDonalds!), but it isnt enough to pay my mortgage.
  10. by   lvs2nrs3535
    Quote from GardenDove
    It sounds terrible. Maybe you can get a roomate to help with the kids? Do you have family nearby? How old are your kids?

    I agree, just get any job for now, or apply for public assistance as a stopgap. Maybe you can contact a domestic violence agency for referals. You need help and support right away, this is a life crisis situation. Good luck.

    Thanks GardenDove. I did apply for public assitance, but since I own 2 houses, the rent money from the other one is counted as income, (which is funny because I lose 78$ a month on that one, plus I pay the sewer and water bill!) so even though I have 2 mortgages plus all the bills that go with it, and credit card debt we all normally carry, (nothing major with two incomes, but becomes huge with just one!) I cant get any help.
  11. by   vampiregirl
    Have you checked with a local domestic violence program or other community resources (township trustee, social service agencies, churches etc). Often there are emergency assistance programs designed for situations such as yours that consider an individual's circumstances, not just the standard criteria. It sounds like you are working hard to get everything together and just need a little help right now. Maybe even your counselor would be a able to suggest some resources. Often these resourses exist, just aren't widely publicized. Good luck!
  12. by   KIAN
    How old are your children? Can you sell one of the homes just to get out from under it. How about loan consolidation? There are some reputable companies out there. Is child care an issue? A job at MacDonalds may not pay all your bills but it will show lenders you are willing to work. At least until you find a nursing job. You must have some good background if you managed an office. A job will help you get through this mess by focusing on other things. I can't imagine how tough this is for you and my heart goes out to you.
  13. by   Haunted
    This whole situation is heartbreaking. Does anyone else just feel like a roadtrip to Maine to offer comfort and support? I'll drive....
  14. by   justpoorfect
    If it was my call, I would rescind my resignation and try to tough it out for my year's experience. It may stink, but not as bad as losing everything would.

    The Domestic Violence center will counsel anyone, without consideration of income or insurance. They may know someone who can meet with you for financial advice.

    Many blessings are wished for you.

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