Job loss, domestic violence, help on advice for getting back on the horse!!!!!! - page 2
Hi everyone, I havent visited for a while because my life fell apart. The nursing home I was working for wasnt working out, My husband had back surgery two years ago and has been on oxycodone. ... Read More
Jan 16, '07I'm so sorry about your situation. All I can say is that most LTCs are short staffed, so you should look into every one that's nearby, even if they don't advertize, to see if they need help. I would also check into domestic violence programs in your area. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Jan 16, '07Quote from justpoorfectThe above advice is exactly what I would do in your situation. This is coming from someone who went through the same issue 16 years ago. Except I lost my job secondary to it rather than resignation and even lost my license for 4 months. I realized it after a broken arm and several fractured ribs it was time to go! His issue was also Opiates and etoh. There is usually support groups and domestic violence centers willing to give emotional support but when it comes to financial support you can count on ziltch if you own any property or even have a bank account in your name. I'm very glad to hear you got out before it escalated to something worse or even to the point of affecting your nursing license. Most havent a clue that something like this can and does. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you would like to talk as I said been there and also with 2 kids at the time. They never forget so you have them in counseling and your on the right track. For the time being if you can retract your resignation or are eligible for re-hire then I would definitely go that route until you can get on your feet financially. I lost everything I owned and hate to see this happen to someone else. I ended up on welfare as by the time it was all said and done I was in no shape to work even in a 7-11 and had nothing left to claim as income. He's in jail now but he will get out then you get the usual "I'm so sorry" and the "it will never happen again". I made the mistake of believing it the first time around. Opiates are not the entire reason for the behavior as there is also another anger issue going on beneath it no doubt. You just happen to be the one handy to take it out on. The judgemental attitude I got from my own co-workers and my NCM still has left a sore taste I will probably never forget. I'm glad to see so many responses here with showing support as most never consider one of our own in this type position. Yes educated people can and are in abusive relationships for what ever reason and it's definitely not the they want to be there. Again please feel free to pm me and I'll be happy to talk with you via phone if you like anytime.If it was my call, I would rescind my resignation and try to tough it out for my year's experience. It may stink, but not as bad as losing everything would.
The Domestic Violence center will counsel anyone, without consideration of income or insurance. They may know someone who can meet with you for financial advice.
Many blessings are wished for you.
Jan 16, '07Try the YWCA if there is one in your area. About 20 years ago, I went through something similar. I was told by my landlord to talk to the Red Cross.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers, if you need a shoulder, mine are pretty broad. pm too if you need to talk
Jan 16, '07Kristibrn,Im so sorry for your situation.Ill say a prayer for you.But always keep in mind these days pass and theres always something better beyond.Thank God you were able to be blessed with the brains and opportunity to graduate from nursing school.JUst take a deep breath,ask for Gods help.He knows whats best for you.I know youll find the perfect position soon.
Jan 16, '07I noticed you worked for a DR. for along time why dont you go back to a DR. office.Also homecare, cause the stress is a little less than LTC, what you definitely need now.Good luck.Keep us posted please.We really care.
Jan 16, '07As far as the impending foreclosure goes:
Okay, I cannot swear to the authenticity of this data, but when I got laid off & was investigating every possible scam out there, I had a buudy who told me he had a relative who worked for a mortgage company, & she had told him that once foreclosure proceedings had started, simply throwing ONE payment at them was enough to make the bank go back to the starting point with the entire foreclosure machinery.
As I said, I am not sure if this is true or not, as I have yet to have to resort to that. If it is true, one mortgage payment will buy you some time.
Good luck; I empathise.
Jan 16, '07Try your local HUD office. They may help with your mortgage for a month or even 2. I am so sorry for all that you are going through. You may even try contacting your mortgage company and explain your situation they may let you miss a couple of payments and just add them on at the end of the mortgage. Good luck and my prayers are going out to you and your boys.
Jan 16, '07I agree with the idea to go back to your employer and be rehired.
Agencies can be good.
Go to hospitals, long-term care facilities, and apply in person.
You will be hired, and you will complete that year of experience.
All the best to you.
Jan 22, '07Thanks so much for the support everybody, it does help. I tried but I cant get back in there at the LTC facility. I am applying everywhere. I also talked to a couple of my teachers from school and they gave me some leads I hope will go somewhere. In the meantime I am just taking it one day at a time. Yeah, I can refinance, but they need you to have a job. It all hinges on that. No pressure, right? I am off to bring in another application. Thanks so much for the advice and support. I have done enough , now I need to get off my bottom and move on!!!! My husband is out of jail and supposedly a 'changed man', but he has not tried to contact me, which is good cuz thats part of his parole conditions. I need the time away emotionally too.
thanks again everybody,
(haunted, the offer of a road trip made me cry!)
Hanging in there
Jan 22, '07kristy
keep your chin up and keep us posted in your progress
i wish good things for your future
Jan 22, '07I am so sorry you and your children find yourselves in this situation. It sounds like a lot of good advice has been given here already. You seem to know deep down that another try with this guy is not in the picture. I can only say that losing material things, although hurtful and stressful, does not compare to losing your life or the life of one of your children. Perhaps a move to another area is in order? Do you have family close? Have you sought out assistance from your church? I will be praying for you and your children.
Jan 22, '07Be sure to contact your attorney re: child support. Even on disability, he needs to contribute.
These kinds of stories make me so sad. On TV the other night I saw they featured a woman from NJ or somewhere that was a shopaholic and was deeply in debt to cc's. She started blogging and begging people to send her money and SHE GOT OVER $10,000.00!! Can you believe it? Now she's got a book deal.
I wish there were such easy answers for everyone who really needs it.
Jan 23, '07I would contact a realtor and see if it's possible to sell one of the houses fast, in order to have some room to breathe and pay the other mortgage... I don't know if it would work for you but it'd be worth looking into.
I'd contact every hospital in your area in the following manner: 1. resume to HR. 2. When you drop off resume go stand at the job posting board and look at the availabilities. Write down what departments you want. 3. call the hospital in a good middle of the daytime time, like not right during lunch, and ask to speak to the director of the departments you like, one at a time. Tell them you have put in a resume, and ask when they would like to interview you. See what happens... lather, rinse, repeat and I'd say, doing this enough during a week might be enough to get you a job. I recommend hospitals because normally there will be enough in the way of pay and benefits to give you and your kids a leg to stand on; even if you lose your houses you'll have a way to pay rent...
When I was younger this method worked pretty well for me and I wasn't a nurse then; just think, you do have professional credentials. You do have good children. You do possibly have real estate that, if things work right, you might sell and avoid bankruptcy. You have blessings, just have to concentrate on keeping the panic level down so you can move forward. Hugs to you and yours, I really hope you do okay.