No, all hospitals are NOT like this. I'm horrified, in fact. Our Code carts are stocked, our nurses work together, our docs answer the phone within a half-hour (and we have resources to turn to if they do not).
You truly need to get out of there.
That said, let me say this gently....
Even if a cart is stocked and the best docs in the world are there, it's not a sure thing that someone is going to be rescued. It didn't help that the cart was not stocked; maybe you should write that fact up to Risk Management so they can do a process review and make improvements.
Please accept my condolences on your friend's mom's death. The fact that you could not take the time off to grieve properly is one reason I would not stay in this hospital.
The fact that your charge nurse and the doc of the ascites patient did not respond in time for your ascites patient is another reason I think you should leave this hospital. You're new and you need support, you need explanations about patient conditions and treatments, you need debriefing when you lose a patient, and you're not getting what you need in order to resolve your feelings and grow as a nurse.
As for the open appy patient without antibiotics for over 30 hours? Incredible. That definitely needed to be written up to Risk Management.
The scenarios you describe are the reasons that some people on this Board advocate having malpractice insurance
. If you have to stay at this hospital, you might look into getting some.
You also might take a serious look at other types of places to work, if you cannot work at either of your local hospitals. There's a career forum here on this board and many of the nurses here can help you find other resources.
Best wishes to you and please keep us updated. We care.