I've gotten to be really Crxxpy

Nurses General Nursing

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Since getting my RN over 2 yrs ago I have become a royal you know what. I actually had a reputation for being laid back before that and as an LPN. You know ducks back and all that.

Now watch out. And you have seen it several times on this board.

I really don't like myself this way. I know too much to place blame outside of myself, such as blaming it on the stress of being an RN.

It is all under my control and I have let my life in general become a knee jerk reaction to my enviorment. I am working on this. I know it doesn't seem like it. Heck it doesn't seem like it to me and I know I am.

It is really tough. I guess I have gotten into this habit too deeply and it is tough to break.

I do a LOT of blaming these days, criticizing, whining, you name it. I know my attitude is mine and it is everything.

Please, don't come back with hugs and warm fuzzies. That is not what I need right now. I just needed to express this. I am not even sure why. Sometimes it just helps to get it out. Good old venting. Sheees! now I am venting about my venting.

all of the above suggestions are very good. Sometimes, when you switch gears, things don't get going as quickly as you'd like. And, as much as you hate to admit it, some of it IS related to all the stress. but, you know, the 'first step' is admitting you have a 'problem.' some days, I know how you feel. It's like you just don't want to be at work at all, or do anything 'extra' for people. I am generally an easy-going person, but if I have too many cranky people cross my path too close together, I have a hard time staying so cheerful. Anyway, I guess that is all for now.

PS sometimes we do need to vent about our venting, also. ANY venting helps!! I know you guys have let me vent a few times, and had some excellent suggestions.

Angus: Know where your coming from, I'm a 10yr RN and went to Minor Care to chill out and feel good about what I do. I previously worked in the ER with a bunch who are getting an ego from Trauma Care in a small area ER. Take care of yourself because in nursing unfortunately that's the key. I love the way you describe yourself, have you tryed travel nursing?

Great advice, everyone. The only I'd add would be to expand the "take time for yourself" item. If you have hobbies/interests, make sure you're investing time in them and doing things that you LIKE to do, not just spending all your time doing all the things you HAVE to do. It could make a big difference. We ALL need several types of outlets - physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I actually love nursing. I do NOT have days where I don't want to be at work.

I do have stressful days and you know generally the stress has little to do with my patients. It has more to do with demands put on me by management and collegues. But I like the folks I work for and with and they are nice people. Maybe I am just having a hard time admitting when I need help or when I don't want to do something.

Two weeks befor this thread, I took a week off to catch up at home and discovered that there is not enough time in the world to do all I have to do let alone want to.

I got a little caught up on somethings, and did a lot of clearing out of clutter. Still have a long way to go. Life is starting to look a little do-able. I am being a little nicer this week. And I am starting to get some things doen that I have been procrastinating about.

It really is attitued and it and it is mine to change. I know only all too well I am the only one that has any real control over my thinking, and I cannot rightfully place blame elsewhere. I can choose to "forgive myself" by placing it out side of me. However, that does not solve anything. Thanks for your effort thought.

I am not beating myself up, here. Althought I am good at that too. Just being truthful.

It has gotten to be too much of a habit and I have got to break it. It really got to me the other moring when I realized I was getting all steamed up over a discourse on this board with someone I do don't even know and have no other contact with than on this board. How silly. I was really upset over something stupid and unnessary.

It was like a was looking for a battle.

It's like some times I get mad at someone and then they do or say exactly the right thing and I can't be mad. But I am enjoying a good mad and want to hang on to it for a while. So I get upset when they do or say just the right thing as they ruin the mad.

Sounds crazy, but that is me. I know it is stupid even as I am doing it. Stubborn is my middle name, and I will stubborning hang onto anger even wilthout reason.

We all can tend to get a bit riled up about the discourse on the BB sometimes. With me it happens when something here strikes a small chord..a small symptom of a bigger/ similar problem in my worklife or my experiences.

I reacted strongly to a student story this am on the most recent of our 'Eating of the Young " threads. . Was I a bit out of line? Maybe. Am I human? Definitely. ;)

Hugs to all nurses out there near and far...we deserve it.

Angus

More than chords are striking here - maybe the whole damn harp/orchestra -

I have been off work for a while - the more time l have to think about it l have realised that l have needed (and still do) me time - - L am not sening hugs etc but empathy so much could and would tumble out - l have just reposnded to a thread then read yurs and felt oh maybe l have overreacted

Human emotions - they are so hard to control at times - and so manipulated by others - we get hooked in - sometimes people do this deliberately and sometimes totally unknowlingly

Please look to yourslef - l am trying (hard) to exercise more - l have found a good resource to do some visualisation exercises cutting back on the not so good things for me ie some foods and a little alcohol - l am trying to mix with positive people - l am learning to laugh again

I love nursing and l love my job but there are times when it all accumualtes -

Please value yourself

Cheers Tookie

Hugs to you matt and tookie. Yea, I guess we are human. It's nice to know sometimes that I am not alone.

AGNUS [in caps, to emphasize the spelling! :D]

One of the other mods just pointed out to me that I've been misspelling your name all along. No wonder we got off on the wrong foot!

My apologies. And I've also been assuming you were a guy, because Angus is definitely male. However, Agnus could be either...spelling variation of Agnes, Latin word for lamb, etc. If I've been wrong about that, too, again, my apologies!

No apology necessary. I notice it only on this thread, smiled as I HAVE been visually mistaken for a guy on more than one occasion. It is amusing when this happens.

I used to be in the military and you should hear the reaction when I would be in the ladies room in a stall and some one spots my boot or low quarters (military oxfords).

Since I have been out of the military I wear a very short hair cut. (It was long in the military). So I a mistaken on occasion. Some times it is a confused elderly person. Some times it is because I am wearing asexual cloths.

I have been mistaken for a gay male.

One time I came out of a ladies' room and a woman stopped me to inform me that I just came out of the ladies room. I agreed that I had. She was very upset. She informed me I am a man. I assured her I am a woman. (Mind you my voice is very high.) She argued. Well it was interesting and strange. I was wearing jeans, and a ski jacket.

I thought it was funny that you can't see me and still made that mistake.

I decided to let it go. Lately I have been concerned about my identity being spotted. I figured that it would just ad some needed uncertainty about my identity. You gave me a cover.

I am very much a girl. I have a sense of humor though and never take that mistake seriously.

Although I think a loooong time ago someone said Angus. Now I could be an Angus bull but truthfully it is an Angus Cow.

When I chose Agnus I was thinking of a nun and Agnus of God, from the movie of the same name came to mind. Now don't ask why I was thinking of a nun. I don't remember.

Perhaps you were feeling sheepish? :D Agnus is Latin for lamb, and the woman's name, usually spelled Agnes, also means lamb.

I saw that movie, Agnus. It was rather strange, wasn't it? The nun's speech at the end, where she went off the deep end, and started talking about the moon coming in the window gave me the shivers!

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