It seems asif this year my life has been flushed down the toilet.

  1. I have lived in a small town of 4,000 or so people for 17 years of my life. This town is where my memories are, where my family is, and where I have my future set. From the time that I was like 4 I wanted to "grow up to be a nurse" and work at the local hospital. I have kept the same goal for 15 years, and I feel that means something. There is only one facility to nurse at in this town. I have been working there as an Aide for the past 2 years. Those two years have been hell for me. I have been stabbed in the back, treated like garbage, and my self esteem has vanished.
    With every goal I complete something else has to happen. I just got night shift, the shift I have aways wanted. I've worked nights before, and the crew has always been pleasant to me. Well ever since it got around that I was getting permanent nights, one person fron the night crew has been terible to me. So terrible that I feel like I'm going to break down and cry at the end of the shift. I wanted this shift because it was the only one where people didn't treat me like crap. I am seriously at my wits end with this job, but I cant quit. There is now way I can throw away the dream that I have had my heart set on for 15 years over people treating me like crap (constantly). If I quit I won't be able to come back, and I will have to leave everything and everyone I love behind, but If i stay I think I'm going to be driven over the edge.

    Sorry so lengthy, but I need to vent.
    Any advice would be appriciated at this point. I'm at the edge of a nervous breakdown here!
    thanks
    Mandi
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  2. 24 Comments

  3. by   Tweety
    I'm very sorry this is happening to you. You need to though stop and look at why so many people are treating you like crap. Is it really so many people?? Do you need to be more assertive? You will only get as much crap as you are willing to take.

    Good luck.
  4. by   tattooednursie
    I guess it really isnt SO many people, it just seems the few that are treating me like that over power the once who are decent to me. I try to be assertive, but it just gets me in more and more trouble, and hated even more by that person.
  5. by   Tweety
    Quote from FutureRN_Mandi
    I guess it really isnt SO many people, it just seems the few that are treating me like that over power the once who are decent to me. I try to be assertive, but it just gets me in more and more trouble, and hated even more by that person.
    Well, it's good to hear it's not a lot of people. Hopefully, you'll get some good advice here on how to deal with difficult people. You might have to call a meeting with management or someone in personnel to mediate a discussion with this person so you can let them know how they are making you feel. Good luck.
  6. by   SWFlorida
    Dealing with all types of people is a skill one needs to learn in life in order to survive. Not everyone is going to be supportive and there are some who will note a persons weakness and hone in for the kill. You may want to find a few books on assertivness training or in dealing with difficult people.

    You need to deal with this person directly yourself as one adult to another. You can go thru your supervisors if this doesn't work out well, but I find the direct appraoach much more beneficial in the long run for all parties involved.
  7. by   IamRN
    Sorry this is getting you down.

    Only you can stand up for yourself though.

    Hugs!
  8. by   rosieseattle
    Don't allow somebody else to steal your dream. Chances are, you will outlast that person at your job anyway. Take your mind off of the problem and put in on your dream of becoming a nurse and why you are there to begin with. By doing this, you will plant yourself into the right frame of mind to do what you need to do to accomplish your goals. My best to you, my heart goes out to you......be strong and courageous.....you will succeed!
  9. by   suzanne4
    Where are you planning on attending nursing school?
    Perhaps going away to school, then returning as an RN, may give you the boost that you need.................your town and family will still be there...
  10. by   AnnaN5
    Quote from FutureRN_Mandi
    I have lived in a small town of 4,000 or so people for 17 years of my life. This town is where my memories are, where my family is, and where I have my future set. From the time that I was like 4 I wanted to "grow up to be a nurse" and work at the local hospital. I have kept the same goal for 15 years, and I feel that means something. There is only one facility to nurse at in this town. I have been working there as an Aide for the past 2 years. Those two years have been hell for me. I have been stabbed in the back, treated like garbage, and my self esteem has vanished.
    With every goal I complete something else has to happen. I just got night shift, the shift I have aways wanted. I've worked nights before, and the crew has always been pleasant to me. Well ever since it got around that I was getting permanent nights, one person fron the night crew has been terible to me. So terrible that I feel like I'm going to break down and cry at the end of the shift. I wanted this shift because it was the only one where people didn't treat me like crap. I am seriously at my wits end with this job, but I cant quit. There is now way I can throw away the dream that I have had my heart set on for 15 years over people treating me like crap (constantly). If I quit I won't be able to come back, and I will have to leave everything and everyone I love behind, but If i stay I think I'm going to be driven over the edge.

    Sorry so lengthy, but I need to vent.
    Any advice would be appriciated at this point. I'm at the edge of a nervous breakdown here!
    thanks
    Mandi
    I know how you feel, I also grew up in a little town but moved away after I graduated high school to go to college. Whenever I come home to visit my family, somehow in the next week or so I hear from friends who still live there that I supposedly did this or that or some other crazy gossip. I have figured out that most people who talk about you behind your back, are rude/mean to you, etc. are jealous because you have something they want. Maybe this person feels like they have to make you feel bad in order to make themselves feel better.

    It is probably hard since you have to see this person at work all the time but just keep reminding yourself that you are working towards a goal & improving yourself - you shouldn't let anyone stand in the way of that. It won't really get rid of the problem - but maybe everyday after work you can treat yourself to a nice long bath or something like that to try and 'erase' the bad shift with that person. Whatever you do, just try to get through it because you will be the better person in the end.
  11. by   z's playa
    {{{hugz}}}}}} Don't let one bad apple get you down. Thats what these people want...company to go with their misery. Hence the saying. Chin up and go for your dream
  12. by   Energizer Bunny
    Now, I'm not one to talk because I am super sensitive myself, but darnnit your post made me mad at those people! Stand up to them!!! Show them that they don't bother you (even if you are wilting inside) If you let them know they are getting to you, it just fuels them on!!! Come up with a couple of snappy comebacks and walk away.....don't get pulled in to arguments!!!

    I feel for you (can see myself getting into the same situation in the future and hope you will be here to kick my butt into shape! LOL!) Let us know how things go!
  13. by   jnette
    Hi Mandi... I know you've been working hard to reach your goals. I've followed your posts over the past year or two.

    So............ are you going to let them riun everything you've worked so hard for? I think NOT. Consider the source and let it go in one ear and out the other or, as the others here have said, address it directly.

    There is a way to be assertive without being snotty, rude, or unkind. Body language works for or against you as well, when standing up for yourself.
    Be calm, confident, and address only the facts. Not what you "perceive" .

    I don't like confrontation myself, so oftentimes I will just consider the source of such nonsense and not give it the time of day..nor waste my energies or emotions on such garbage. I know who I am, and know that some ppl are just always going to be ignorant and hateful, regardless... so I just smile and pity them... and continue on my merry way, not changing a thing.

    You'll figure out what works best for you, Kiddo... main thing is to NOT let them get to you as you seem to be doing.. they are SO not worth it. OK?

    (((HUGS)))
  14. by   Mister Chris
    Dear Mandi, Me too very sorry to hear about the situation.
    I came from a small village in UK many years ago and my divorce was the very first to happen in that village. I also worked locally, etc etc! After I had literally run away from the situation and then returned - it was worse! I know now I should have stayed and rode it out. I never did anything wrong (except leave!). Like the others say follow your dream, dont ever, ever let anyone steal your dream. Try using the question at the person/s giving you a hard time "why do you say that?" I was taught this and I found it really works.
    Chin up, best foot forward, stay in there, hugs too. I wish you well.
    Chris.

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