hi guys! i have been working in my ltc job for a year now (first job). i have been feeling unhappy and low about my job lately. i just hate the politics the management is playing. staffing is always giving us one less nurse and says "sorry, we tried to look for people" but that is what they say all the time so i ended up taking more patients and i cannot provide the care i want to give to my residents because i am always rushing and sometimes i even ignore my patients which makes me feel guilty as i love talking to them.
i am just very unhappy with the management. i wrote up a doctor for verbally abusing me on the phone while telling him critically high lab values. this doctor kept yelling on the phone why i was calling him and said he did not really care about the lab values. this doctor is notorious for abusing nurses on the phone no matter what you are calling about. these nurses just do not do anything and take the abuse. but i could not take the abuse any more,so for the 4th time i wrote him up. don wrote back saying she understands me at some point however the doctor may have been this and that, basically making excuses for the doctor. so i let it go. i guess i just have to accept the abuse since everyone does so.
my residents love me. they tell me i am their favorite nurse. they even tell their family members about me. family members are always thanking me for taking such good care of their loved ones. they even tell my supervisor and administrator that i deserve a raise. i love my residents, however, i have been giving them fake smile lately which makes me feel guilty. there is this one spanish resident who only speaks spanish and only me and one other cna talk to her in our broken spanish but we understand her and she understands us. but lately i have been telling her not to talk to me because i am busy and it makes me feel guilty. i used to be able to talk to all my residents for few minutes while passing meds but now i am just pushing pills in their mouth and go to the next. i do not like doing that but i have to in order to finish my med pass on time.
i do not know what to do. i love and hate my job. it's not really a bad place to work for and i don't really want to leave my job there because the pay is good and the benefits are excellent. but i applied at a psych facility yesterday to see if i can get it then decide if i would do the jump.
thank you for reading my long post.
Apr 21, '09
The only thing I found concerning is the part where you tell the resident not to talk to you b/c you are busy. I truly hope you word it something like this......
Mrs. Name I apoligize however, I am not able to visit with you right now. Using that approach is better and more ethical than don't talk to me I am busy. This is assuming that she is not trying to communicate a problem that she is experiencing. If this is due to a language barrier with others you can talk to the social director about it and find out what she can do to make it easier on this resident. Now about your depression and guilt keep telling yourself that you are doing the best you can once you pull yourself out of the blue funk you will be suprised at how many things come to light in when you think about it.
Apr 21, '09
sorry, yes that was my spanish lady who always ask me what time she was going to sleep every 10 mins. usually i will try to talk to her and distract her and she would calm down. i don't really tell her "stop talking to me". i tell her "mamita por pavor, yo soy tiene mucho trabajo ahora. yo habla tu luego, esta bien?" and then she would say "okay mijo".
mamita por pavor, yo soy tiene mucho trabajo ahora = mommy, please i have so many things to do right now
yo habla tu luego, esta bien? = i will talk to you later ok?
mijo = my son
i don't really speak spanish so i tell her that when she follows me around in her mery-walker while i pass meds.
Last edit by agldragonRN on Apr 21, '09
Apr 21, '09
The devil you know is usually better than the devil you don't know. Often things are worse some place else. I do have concern about the patient load that you are having to take. It is just too much.
This is your first job. You have been there for a year. It might be time to try something else. By the way, what city and state do you live in?
Apr 21, '09
Sorry to hear youre having a bad time at the mo. My advice is leave - get another job. As my dad would say - vote with your feet. I understand this is easy to say, but Ive been where you are now and although its reassuring having good pay etc, its not worth selling your soul, wishing your life away and having sleepless nights over. It was hard, but looking back it was the right thing to do. Absolutely.
Good luck and hope you find somewhere deserving of you.
Apr 21, '09
If you have exhausted everything you can think of then move on and try some thing else as far as the nurse /pt ratio that has been an issue far longer than you have been a nurse and that is something you by yourself will not get changed. Make yourself happy because when you do you will be at your best.
Apr 21, '09
Hi...just wanted to add my 2 cents worth here. I know exactly what the OP is describing. I've been there. I worked in a nrsg home for one year and got soooo burnt out. It was exactly the same as u describe at your facility. It got so horrible that i considered leaving nursing, but the money was SOO good that i was tryin to tough it out. Then one day I decided enough was enough and went and applied to a diff setting...took a job in a hosp the next wk, and never ONCE have i looked back. I actually make a lil less money now, but it's worth it to me to have peace of mind and to go to work every day lovin my job.-sorry post was so long
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