is nursing is an anti-social job?

  1. Does anybody else feel like nursing is an anti-social job? Or am I stating the obvious to you lot??
    Since I left university and moved from my home village my social life has all most become non-existent. All my friends from secondary school/college are 9-5 er's who work together and I 'feel out of it'. My university friends have gone home Scotland/Wales etc. It's hard to make plans unless I've booked them off the off-duty. Can't go off for the weekend, go for a midweek drink/party as I don't like to drink before shift, and my friends are drinkers who can understand why you go out to drink OJ.

    I suppose what I'm saying is I cant make friends here in London and I wanna go home. I can't though my b/f business is here. I am the youngest by 10 yrs at work (I'm 23). We go out for meals and stuff. I wanna a coffee buddy/shopping buddy.

    I feel so depressed about it I feel have nobody to chat with or have fun with. It feels like a kinda sad thing to admit to, not having any friends. I go home and go shopping/in the evening etc but home is 2 hours away. I'll like to travel around New Zealand and Australia, so I think I'm off by myself; I love to go with someone.

    Sorry for my woe-is-me rant

    Ruby
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  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   Tweety
    It's o.k. to say you're feeling lonely Ruby. But it's probably not nursing itself, it's the fact you're in a new city.

    Nursing can be antisocial though which is why I don't work 3-11 shift because it was very isolating. When I worked 11-7 that was o.k. because I could meet friends in the evening time before they went to bed and after they worked their 9-5 hours. Now I work only three 12-hour days and that leave several days to do things.

    I know what you mean about not having a buddy to pal around with. I moved to Florida from North Carolina and had a hard time making friends. Having a pal is so important. Best wishes.
  4. by   Spaniel gal
    hi 3rdShiftGuy

    i suppose being somewhere new doesnt help. i work 7x 7.30 to 9.30 shifts and 5x 9.30 pm to 8am. which leaves me with a lot of days off to do stuff. what makes it harder is my partner is Turkish, and so doest know many people either.
    Last edit by Spaniel gal on Jul 15, '03
  5. by   bargainhound
    Believe it or not one definition of nursing is a socialization process.
    The first time I read this, it changed the way I looked at and thought about my nursing job/life.
    Last edit by bargainhound on Jul 15, '03
  6. by   ST_NURSE_MLD
    I know what you mean... I'm not out of Nursing School, yet. Between my teenage daughter, husband who works 6:30am until and Nursing School. I have NO social life. I think we have to find a way. Somehow.
  7. by   MelRN13
    :kiss You have all of us right here!

    Sometimes it is hard to make new friends in a new place. Are there any social events that you like to attend? Maybe you could meet people your age with the same interests as you. It's normal to be homesick. Just keep your head up!
  8. by   iliel
    I know how you feel. About 2 years ago I moved to Vegas, by myself, at first it was fine. I made some friends and I even met my boyfriend, but I found the friends I made here were not "good" ones. When I started into last fall's semester, they all ditched me cause they felt I couldn't spend enought time and I wouldn't go out and drink till 6 am. I'm sorry!! I have a goal to meet!!! (Sorry, just alittle annoyed )
    I still have my boyfriend, but I don't talk to any of these so called "friends" anymore. It took me a long time to realize I'm ok with this. I had to get use to the fact that sometimes, you grow apart from people.
    You will always have friends here and people to lean on.
    I hope some of this helps.
    Iliel
  9. by   dosamigos76
    Spaniel gal,
    I feel for you. I hate being in a new place-kinda makes you feel "ungrounded" if that's a word. Maybe you can use this as an opportunity to develop some of your own interests and/or hobbies. Explore places, if you like doing that-you never know what you might discover. Maybe try volunteering. I hope before you know it, you'll be right at home in your new setting. Best of luck!
    Cheryl
  10. by   Spaniel gal
    Thank you for your kind words

    I can't volunteer as every place I've approached want a 'set' day. I do baby-sit for various families with disabled children, so they can go out or just have a few free hours. I've joined a gym, started with a netball team but they dropped me as I kept missing practice for work. I'm seriously thinking of travelling, just going for it and going by myself.
    I suppose like everything it takes time!

    Ruby
  11. by   dosamigos76
    Spaniel Gal,
    You sound like such a neat lady. It seems like you're always doing for others, go and have some fun and do something for YOU! Have some fun!
    Cheryl
  12. by   live4today
    ((((((Spaniel gal)))))) :kiss

    I feel ya, hon. Life itself can present a lot of lonely moments where we feel isolated and without social support....not just in nursing. I work three 12's a week dayshift and only really get to talk to one nurse when off duty on occasion. There are nurses who prefer their own group at work which I don't think is meant to be done on purpose, they just have worked together a long time and come to really click together. Nonetheless, perhaps we need to be more alert to the newbies and the nurses who work on our units and intentionally draw them into the circle of friendship that we all could benefit from. I'd be your friend if I lived there. :kiss
  13. by   New CCU RN
    Spaniel girl,

    I can relate to you feel!!! I graduated last May 02 and moved from New England where my family and friends are to Virginia with my now fiance. While I enjoy my job and living with my fiance, I often feel isolated. There are many days that I wish I could go back up north and be closer to my dear ones. I have made a few work related friends that I can go out for a drink with, but none come close to those that are now hours away. I honestly think it has more to do with being in a new place than nursing. Your schedule does seem pretty tough though..... what am I doing to try and keep positive? I joined a gym (used to run outside on my own, but thought that was probably doing another solatary thing so I also go to the gym) and I attend the tae bo classes, I am getting involved on my unit with a few leadership activities which is allowing me to get to know some of the people I work with on a different level, taking a graduate class this September, and planning for my wedding Sept 04.

    It is a tough transition..and please don't ever feel alone...
  14. by   Adina
    talk with other RN's ,they are people like you around.You just do not see them now,what about other floor.cheer up !

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