Is it right to sexually assist a paralysed patient? - page 14

How do you deal with the paralysed patient with frequent erections? Have you ever been asked to assist? I've never faced this but have seen a heated discussion on another forum. Is it humane to bring... Read More

  1. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    I believe we've all been had. By his own admission, this guy never had to deal with this problem, he's just asking out of his imagination!

    I suspect we've all been "helping" the OP.....

    Gagomatic. Or should that be gagomatique?

    Nurses have been the pornographic butt of a lot of jokes over the years. This BB is a safe haven of respect and decency, where real questions and situations merit real help and support. It's pretty sick to come into our own house, as it were, and do this.

    Where's the smilie who needs a basin.....?
  2. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from chris_at_lucas
    I believe we've all been had. By his own admission, this guy never had to deal with this problem, he's just asking out of his imagination!

    I suspect we've all been "helping" the OP.....

    Gagomatic. Or should that be gagomatique?

    Nurses have been the pornographic butt of a lot of jokes over the years. This BB is a safe haven of respect and decency, where real questions and situations merit real help and support. It's pretty sick to come into our own house, as it were, and do this.

    Where's the smilie who needs a basin.....?
    I think someone mentioned this very thing somewhere in the thread and got lambasted but to tell the truth my first thought was the same as yours and why I didn't respond to the thread or read it at first. But, ya get drawn in

    This whole issue is a non-issue . . . . . hard-ons happen. Get over it.

    steph
  3. by   Roland
    Since when are we required to have personal experience with a situation in order to have an opinion or pose a question? If that was the requirement for intellectual engagement then few of us would be able to comment, or question on most of science and history (or most of the human experience for that matter). Such propositions are often advanced by those who seek to limit debate, and inquiry on issues they find uncomfortable. Furthermore, the original poster at no time made any statements that were in any way deceptive. If you've been "had" it's only because you didn't read the question and scenario closely. In fact, he went out of his way to say that he DIDN'T have personal experience with the issue "at hand".
    Last edit by Roland on Apr 7, '04
  4. by   Agnus
    Quote from Roland
    Agnus, it is not clear to me if you are suggesting that the SEX therapist which you advocate being brought in, should provide sexual contact (as some actually DO although they are usually called sexual surrogates to distinguish them from actual therapists). Indeed, Masters&Johnson actually designed an instructional/ protocal for Sexual surrogates (at least I have seen this referenced in the websites of these people). However, for the disabled person who DOES desire sexual gratification, but is not capable of self stimulation it is doubtful that mere discussion would be adequate. Also, someone above asked the question if we would be concerned about disabled WOMEN who lacked visible indications of their desire. Did this person read my New York Times article which detailed how DOCTORS at one time induced orgasms in women (not just disabled women either) as a form of MEDICAL therapy (perhaps a nurse at the time who attempted such an intervention would have been guilty of practicing medicine without a license!)

    Again, I would emphasize that almost no one here is advocating that doctors or nurses perform these functions. I actually, think the proposal for direct, electrical "neurogenic" stimulation to the brain holds the most promise for people in this situation (and the promise of such direct brain interface goes far beyond just the sexual since this technology may make it possible for paralyized people to communicate, and directly control artificial limbs).
    It is not my role to define the role of another profession. I did say therapist. I did not mean serogate. I do know the difference. As I state this IS NOT my field of expertise that is why I would refer to a THERAPIST. It would be up to them to take it to a serogate or what ever.

    THough it may have been considered a role at one time in some nursing text it is not TODAY IN CURRENT USA NURSING PRACTICE within our scope.

    Why is that so difficult to understand. It is no more appropriate for me to provide sexual relief than it is for me to Assist this person with thier will, or given them leagal advice, or do thier income taxes, or repair the brakes on thier car. If I did any of those things in my practice I could end up in a lot of legal trouble. They are not functions of nursing. Yes safty is a nursing issue and if a patient drove with bad breaks I would refer him. I would not try to fix the breaks myself just because it was a safty issue for my patient.
  5. by   Roland
    Why do you keep suggesting that I am proposing nurses and doctors play a role in this occuring (other than possibly referring to the appropriate professional) in spite of my clear pronouncements to the contrary? As to those who feel deceived by David's clear and simple post/question if you were complaining in court about a contract or law you had violated you would be likely told "Ignorantia juris quod quisqe tenetur scire neminem execusat" .
  6. by   ktwlpn
    [QUOTE=DavidFR]uncomfortable with this topic, have never been faced with issue and don't wish to think of the sexual needs of the disabled/handicapped/paralysed. QUOTE]actually I DON'T think that those needs have to be addressed by acute care nurses.....as far as long term care and the disabled they are capable of finding someone to "give them relief" just as they can pay for their own ciagrettes if they choose to smoke...
  7. by   caroladybelle
    You haven't answerred the questions posed, Roland.

    Quote from caroladybelle
    And would YOU be willing to make it your livelyhood to provide these services ...for both sexes (since it is merely release)...as part of encouraging good health....on a professional or volunteer basis?
    And would you encourage your SO to provide these services, also?

    Obviously as you are not a nurse currently, you and she obviously could commit yourselves to this mission wholeheartedly, since you believe in the mission. Is it not important enough for you to do that? Being a nurse anesthetist can't possibly have the same "mission" related emotional influence on the well being of a patient.

    I have been on my mission to Africa, and I currently work with HIV/Onco patients, as much of the BB is aware. As said, it is near to impossible to find paid Nurses working with this population AT ALL. Much the less to find volunteer personnel to work with them, sexually, especially when their own families will not visit. And I have yet to see Mother Teresa/ or any sainted person advocating this "mission".

    And how would you deal with the legal liabilities that I also referenced, per disease, regulation and unwanted pregnancy?
  8. by   Roland
    1. No, I probably wouldn't provide these services. Nor, when I really think about it would I be comfortable with my SO doing these things (maybe IF it was limited to external, digital manipulation and the clients were screened for legitimate need). However, I think it very important that this NOT be done by nurses or doctors for reasons previously stated. There are many things I wouldn't do (and would be quite poor at doing if I tried). These include dentistry, construction, and quite probably being a nurse! (although I will do my very best at trying to be the very best nurse I am capable of being right up until the time I am eliminated from the profession). On the other hand if I wasn't married, and if the "services" involved only women I might consider it (but the "client" could do far better for their money). If people in the world were limited by the services that I was willing and able to provide it would be a dark, place to live.

    2. With regard to legal issues all we need do is look at how this is being DONE in other countries like Austrialia. There are many doctrines of contract law and liablility that could be applied to this or any other novel situation. Of course my "technological, neural interface solution" would overcome many if not all of these issues.
  9. by   gypsyatheart
    I have to say, I agree with you 100% here. I, like others, was suspicious at first also, but now after what 18 pages of discussing this...yeah, I agree, we've been had! Gag, gag, gag!

    Quote from chris_at_lucas
    I believe we've all been had. By his own admission, this guy never had to deal with this problem, he's just asking out of his imagination!

    I suspect we've all been "helping" the OP.....

    Gagomatic. Or should that be gagomatique?

    Nurses have been the pornographic butt of a lot of jokes over the years. This BB is a safe haven of respect and decency, where real questions and situations merit real help and support. It's pretty sick to come into our own house, as it were, and do this.

    Where's the smilie who needs a basin.....?
  10. by   Havin' A Party!
    Quote from tjjs
    Uh, we have been asked to do this at the hospital where I work by the patient's family members...
    Wow, never heard of this.

    What was the family's response when their request was nixed?
  11. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    And why did the FAMILY think that was the nurse's job.
  12. by   Roland
    I guess I don't understand what you mean by "you've been had". Whether someone is serious or not about an issue (and I think he was serious, but could be wrong) it in no way affects the importance of the subject being discussed. This is a basic tenet of logic. Ideas, stand or fall on their own merit not on "feelings" or even the intent of those who present them. Without regard to the intentions of the original poster, I can guarentee you that there are millions of disabled people throughout the world for whom this is more than just an academic "discussion".
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Quote from stevielynn
    I think someone mentioned this very thing somewhere in the thread and got lambasted but to tell the truth my first thought was the same as yours and why I didn't respond to the thread or read it at first. But, ya get drawn in

    This whole issue is a non-issue . . . . . hard-ons happen. Get over it.

    steph
    it was me that got told "it's not funny". Well , I for one, was not laughing. We have been had. I tried to warn ya all early on. whatever. Some people are plain sick. :uhoh21:

close