Is it like this everywhere???

  1. Hi guys and gals, I just need to vent and need to find out if every hospital is like this.


    I love the small hospital atmosphere, and I really like the people I work with, but not this behaviour. I find I can easily get sucked into it, before I realize what has happened. It's probably an attempt on my part to fit and and feel accepted, I don't know, but I ALWAYS end up feeling badly about myself. It has gotten to the point where I think the best thing to do is not talk to ANYONE. Which I know is impossible and silly.

    So, is it like this everywhere? Is this a small hospital phenomenon that doesn't occur in big hospitals? I am seriously considering a new job, although I don't know where I would go. The next closest hospital is about 30 minutes away and I really don't want to commute even that much.

    Maybe I need to start putting prozac in the coffe pot in the morning! LOL

    Laura
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  2. 54 Comments

  3. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hi Laura! I've been working at a large hospital for about 2 1/2 years now. In about the last 6 months, things have gotten to be like you describe them. There is so much backstabbing, two faced, gossipy behavior. It's every man (nurse) for themselves. There is only ONE nurse, a dear friend of mine outside the hospital, that I trust completely (and vice versa).

    I find it interesting what you said about someone else getting something better, or one working harder than someone else. SOOOOOO typical of a day on my unit. We have one nurse who can tell you the vacation days and call off patterns of every single other person on the unit. The minute someone does something, she feels she's "entitled" to the same. Keeps a little log so she can reference back to it if she needs the same accomadations later. Knows who's where in the discipline system. EVERYTHING. I simply don't have the energy.

    It is very easy to get sucked in to this behavior. My friend and I finally just decided it wasn't worth it. We go to work, do our job, and leave. I've asked around, and the people I know seem to think it happens to a degree at every hospital.

    SO, do you keep the evil you know, or choose another evil? I'm at hard place right now. I LOVE my job, but the bulls**t that comes along with hospital nursing is becomming too much for me. My friend and I joke that we're gonna go work at the Gap

    How long have you been a nurse? I wonder is this is the nursing equivalent of the seven year itch!

    Sorry this is so long, you just really hit on the way I've been feeling lately. Hopefully some of the wonderful seasoned nurses here will have some good words of wisdom for us.

    Heather
  4. by   LauraRN0501
    Hey Heather! I love your reply, it really sums up how I feel. The sad thing is, I've only been a nurse for about 10 months now! I love my job, love my patients, and don't want to do anything else. But, like you, the BS is becoming too much.

    I think what you said is a good idea. Go to work, do my job, and go home. AND I am afraid, really, to change jobs because I KNOW I have a good job and would probably be really unhappy anywhere else. Maybe. I don't know. LOL

    I think I am going to really start keeping to myself. Which goes against my chatterbox nature entirely. I really like the people I work with, we have a good time. Just not lately....
  5. by   Lunatichick
    I just began working at a small hospital and I've noticed what you both are talking about. This insane "job-envy" these people has is irrational and irritating at best.
    You joke about working at the Gap, I'm planning a career change to be a cosmotologist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    To me it is a sign of poor managment, before this I was D.O.N. in a prison over 15 nurses whenever one of them would come to me to complain about the other I would point out to them that there are things that they don't know that that person has done (true or not, then address it with said nurse later.) It seemed to work because I didn't hear but about 2 complaints in the time I was there. But then again, maybe they just kept the complaints to themselves after that!!!!!!!!!!
  6. by   Lunatichick
    Same here, Laura!!! I have had to re-vamp my whole nature just because I changed jobs!!! I still have hope though that I can affect change, I go in every morning with a smile on my face, a bounce in my step and totally focus on patients! I don't even eat lunch with my co-workers here and that was a ritual for my last place of employment, we were very tight-knit!
    I've never seen a place that has sooo much hate and discontent!! The people are constantly back-stabbing, bickering and throwing temper-tantrums!!!!! Don't know how long I'm going to last here, luckily I don't have any time invested and I WAS looking for a job when I found this one!
  7. by   P_RN
    Short answer. Yep.
  8. by   donmurray
    UK too!
  9. by   hapeewendy
    the B.S. that comes with nursing unfotunately is universal.
    its the same anywhere I've been, there are nice nurses, great team workers , but the sour, manipulative, ego centric ones always seem to take away any good vibe to a floor/unit.

    some people thrive in conflict and gossip
    I'm not one of them, but I feel I have been sucked into all the drama by default.

    we all ***** n moan about things but I sincerely believe that some ppls sole purpose in life is to be unhappy and revel in their misery.

    and in so doing, bring others down also
    I try to ignore it, rise above it, see through it
    but when youre in the midst of it, even the best of us leave the floor with our blood boiling.

    if only there was a remedy, sadly, as long as many different personality types are working in close contact in a high stress environment we cant seem to escape it, because our job is what it is, we are stressed to the max daily, how some ppl cope is to go on a verbal rampage of sorts, pitting this nurse against that nurse and fueling the fires of backstabbing and gossip
    just the other day I casually mentioned that I felt like I was back in grade school because of all the game playing ......
    it sucked to be messed up in drama back then
    and it sucks even more now
    if i had my way i would go to work ,take care of my patients, do the best job I can, be there for my co workers and come home at the end of the shift, period.

    in a perfect world maybe
    so my longwinded answer to your initial post is a heavy sigh and that yes of course it is like that here too......
  10. by   hoolahan
    Been there done that. It even happens to some degree in my home health job. I was speaking to a former employee the other day, telling her I had too many pt's in my case load. She said, how many does everyone else have? I said I don't know. She said you need to know. I said, it would probably only pi$$ me off!

    I find, even though it is a little depressing, that keeping tom myself is best. When the schedule police ask me a question, or come by and try to stir the pot, I walk away, or flat out say, in a nice tone of voice, hey, what are you, the schedule police? You don't need to know about other people's schedule! Some times I just say "I', uncomforatable talking about so and so when they aren't here to defend themselves. Or, I really don't know, maybe you should ask so and so yourself why her schedule is that way.

    Some things never change. I wish I could go back to being that dumb naive 19 year old nurse who didn't realize when she was getting the knife in the back! When the vultures start circling, take your meat outta there!
  11. by   NannaNurse
    OMG......I feel the same way...I can't believe how similar all this 'stuff' is. You know, I'm almost to the point of getting out of nursing completely!
    My wonderful husband told me the same, exact thing..........Go to work, do YOUR job, be friendly (but keep your mouth shut) and then come home to me! Is he great or what????:kiss

    I have been giving more than 100% and all I get for it is a stab in the back. I, too, am sick of all the bit@hing and moaning at work. Maybe we should all get together, win the lotto and open our OWN place and all work for eachother????? Sounds like a winner to me!!!!
  12. by   nursing 101
    I'm starting the nursing BSN program in the fall, I have worked most of my life in Corporate world and let me tell you girls that's it's the same at every company, office ect... i've been too.

    So when I start my nursing career (If I can keep up... lol) I will have all the "backstabbing" "bickering" "gossiping" experience necessary to survive...

    Keep your heads up... It's like this throughout the world. Even if you own your own business, you will have employees coming to you to complain about the next person.
  13. by   tiger
    i'm sorry but i work in a union hospital and things are supposed to be done fairly. i guess i am one of the nurses that keeps track of everything going on because right now we are in transition from a good boss to an unknown boss, in the mean time we have an acting idiot manager who knows nothing about the union rules.things are not being done by policy and i keep records of everything. if one person is allowed to slide on some offense then everyone should. you have to know facts to present them to a union rep. favoritism is not an option------supposedly. we have evidence of favoritism involving absences, tardies, showing up with no badge, who's turn for call off, assignment delegation, you name it. you have to have as much info as possible.
    Last edit by tiger on Apr 19, '02
  14. by   NRSKarenRN
    Think of all that energy wasted!

    Quote:
    ."if one person is allowed to slide on some offense then everyone should"

    See to much of the I-Me in nursing these days instead of "We".
    It is the "We" mentality that has helped nurses manage their work load over the decades....and the Nurses captured at Battan during WWII to all survive and come home.

    It is the WE that bands together to force improvements in a work setting. Very rarely do the 'I's manage to get things accomplished.

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