intimidation by nurse manager?

  1. I worked at this facility once before for about 7 months, quit, traveled, and then came back as staff and have been there a year next week.

    The other day I sent my ER manager an email that asked her if I could go PRN. (Everyone quits/changes departments and stays prn. We do all communication by email) She sent me an email back that told me that she would NOT hire me back full time if I went prn.

    IMHO, this is some sort of intimidation, I mean my dept. is really short staffed, hired 22 new grads this summer and 7 since december for our 58 bed Level I ER. I feel like she is trying to keep me in this ER because of the short staffing.

    I met up with the ER manager, and told her that I'd like to do some full time agency work in order to gain the money to buy a home in the area, and then go back full time at this ER, once I buy a home. I told her that the money I make at this ER is not enough to both pay rent and save for a down payment on a home.............. for some reason she does not understand. She says she is looking out for her department, but I need to look out for my family and our future.................................

    What I need is more money. I love everyone I work with in this ER. I feel that her email response to me ( i will not hire you back full time if you decide to go prn) is total intimidation. I hate being intimidated.

    any thoughts?
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   caliotter3
    You are not the first person who wanted to change their work status and was told something similar to what your NM told you. You are the one who has to decide what is more important to you. Either way, there are consequences. You won't know until you make the decision and take the action.
  4. by   GardenDove
    I say do what you need to do. She'll probably change her mind if she needs staff after you get your house. As an ER agency nurse, you will be highly sought after.
  5. by   TrudyRN
    Quote from GardenDove
    I say do what you need to do. She'll probably change her mind if she needs staff after you get your house. As an ER agency nurse, you will be highly sought after.
    She might change her mind and she might not. I wouldn't count on it.

    Why not get approved for a loan and learn about the homebuying process before you change jobs or alter your work life very much? One thing a lender looks for is job longevity. Lenders like to see that you've been in the same line of work and on the same job for a while. They like stability.

    Also, get with a Realtor (interview 3 or 4 then choose 1) and learn about the housing market.

    Maybe this could help you decide what to do about your job.

    Intimidation maybe. Not sure what you should do, though, other than what I've posted. Best of luck to you.
  6. by   GardenDove
    You have a point Trudy. It could be that the manager considers the OP as unreliable due to having come back once before. You are very correct about being on the job for a period of time to obtain a loan.
  7. by   TinyNurse
    i have met with a realtor, and also a lender. It's the same story.....due to my credit the lender wants 5k down. I cannot save 5k nor improve my credit while working staff.
  8. by   llg
    If your unit is so short-staffed and so busy ... why can't you work a little overtime to earn the extra money for the down payment?

    I can understand the manager's point-of-view as well as yours. She doesn't want staff to "come and go" every year or so. She needs staff she can count on. Every time you "come and go," it causes a problem for her. She wants you to make a decision and stick with it before she invests more in you. That's not intimidation, that's honesty -- telling you that continual coming and going and a lack of committment will come with a penalty.

    In the long run, you may be better off picking up some extra hours with your current employer and building your savings to buy your house. That way, you will build good will and also seniority that might translate into benefits later. Constantly coming and going makes you look unreliable and a poor risk -- both for lenders and for employers.

    I'd talk with the manager about the possibilities of earning some extra money working for her before I burned my bridges in a workplace where you like your job and your co-workers.
  9. by   P_RN
    What about putting in some OT but on a different unit? You'd satisfy your NM by staying.

    You'd get extra money without having to enter the politics of the second unit. You may have to take straight salary but more money is more money. Is your credit good other than the less than 1 year on the current job?

    Perhaps a short term loan for the down payment. At RN salary you should be able to find an extra 5K. I was able to buy a washer, dryer and dishwasher with one weekend OT on another floor.
  10. by   Cat Nurse
    I have a male nurse manager. I have worked with him for many years. I am not agreeable to some of his hired staff. I think his hormones get in the way of his judgement. But many people feel intimidated by him. Many have quit and say it is because they don't feel comfortable around him. Most, probably would not have been confortable any place or with most people!
  11. by   PANurseRN1
    This isn't intimidation. She needs someone she can count on. Imagine if half the staff wanted this kind of concession. If she allows you to do this, then she sets a precedent that the rest of the staff can call her on.

    Sorry, I agree with those who say you should try picking up extra hours in your dept./hospital.
  12. by   av8er7
    Tinynurse--(Please keep in mind that I will be a new grad this May of 07. But even this early I have found nothing but advantages in this new career I chose to get into).
    Now--please do not allow yourself to be intimidated by anyone! I am not old man--but i am also well past my 20's. Upon leaving my 20's I started to look at intimidation as a challenge, yet i couldn't always answer to the challenge the way I wanted to. This was one of many reasons I went back to school. I didn't like having limitations on how to answer a challenge (or someone intimidating me) when it came to employment. I chose nursing moreover to do what i like to do--help, or make people feel better. But being a nurse (a high in demand career), allows me to be more focused on what I need for me and my family too.
    With this, I will be doing what I feel is innate in me. However, this nursing career I chose also happens to be a career that is in high demand (as aforementioned)--making it to my advantage if I get some farquad intimidating supervisor.
    Anyhow, my point is you don't have to put up with this from anyone with the skills you have. If needed, you can ride the wind and still remain relatively safe when it comes to income and affording what you want.
    As for myself, I don't see myself having to utilize this new skill and education of mine regarding an unreasonable supervisor. But I do keep in the back of my mind at all times that I will not put up with any unfair demand at work. If needed, I'll pack and move elsewhere and it will not be hard. **I'm not recommending not to be a team player. I am saying that for yourself you are #1--nobody is going to watch out for you.
    Some of the other comments that I read were very true--particularly Gardendoves comment "do what you need to do."
    If you are a worthy employee, chances are they will take you back.
    My bottom line is do what is good for you--you shouldn't have any probs finding another well paying job.
    Good luck with the home buying!!!
    av8er
  13. by   sandlewood_nurse
    I'm sorry but I don't completely agree with you on this. If a person needs to take time off for health, family or for financial reasons and feel stuck then I think its up to the managers and hospital to at least TRYYYYYYY to accommodate them. I was stressed out and really need some extra time off (wanted to one shift less per week). We end up working more than full time, because of how our scheduals are. Instead of five days a week we work five days one week and six days about every third week. My manager was less than helpful however. Stress is bad for health, and I know PERSONALLY that bad finances are a HUGE STRESS.

    If she needs to save up money, and she is able to find a more efficient way of doing it in the short term then she should be able to do it. On top of that perhaps she is willing to work overtime but the extra wages would help her more. If she's a good employee then why make her feel bad. People have LIVES outside of work. Thats the one thing I never got about nurses. Even DOCTORS talk about life out of work, they work hard but can afford to take tons of time off to do stuff with family, and for themselves. We as nurses work super hard, and get very little appeciation in many places. I am already thinking of going to alternative hospitals at this point because my manager was more concerned about the bottom line and her position than her coworkers as a whole. She wasn't even intimidating, she just didnt' care enough to help improve working conditions or about the health of her staff. Nonetheless I made a commitment when I started a job on her floor, and I maintained that commitment. Many people told me to leave, that I could find a better job. I was loyal however. Now we have a new manager and its worst because she's NOT NICE and doesn't even make time for anyone unless she wants to give bad news. Why should I feel loyal to an employer like that.

    As for Tiny Nurse, do you have to have this job secured for you. Can't you do what you need to do and then just reapply, to other floors and hospitals ?

    Anyhow, Thats just my little rant on it.

    Quote from llg
    If your unit is so short-staffed and so busy ... why can't you work a little overtime to earn the extra money for the down payment?

    I can understand the manager's point-of-view as well as yours. She doesn't want staff to "come and go" every year or so. She needs staff she can count on. Every time you "come and go," it causes a problem for her. She wants you to make a decision and stick with it before she invests more in you. That's not intimidation, that's honesty -- telling you that continual coming and going and a lack of committment will come with a penalty.

    In the long run, you may be better off picking up some extra hours with your current employer and building your savings to buy your house. That way, you will build good will and also seniority that might translate into benefits later. Constantly coming and going makes you look unreliable and a poor risk -- both for lenders and for employers.

    I'd talk with the manager about the possibilities of earning some extra money working for her before I burned my bridges in a workplace where you like your job and your co-workers.
  14. by   sonnyluv
    Quote from Cat Nurse
    I have a male nurse manager. I have worked with him for many years. I am not agreeable to some of his hired staff. I think his hormones get in the way of his judgement. But many people feel intimidated by him. Many have quit and say it is because they don't feel comfortable around him. Most, probably would not have been confortable any place or with most people!
    Is this really a gender issue? People have quit because they don't feel comfortable around him? Like, he'll hide behind around a corner and attack you? There are so few male nurse managers, please don't take the most obvious route and imply that he is a pervert. Its hard enough being a male nurse as it is. Same goes for male school teachers. Not all men are pervs. Some are, yes. But it sounds like this dude is just being a manager, which means to say he is trying to control you because most managers are too insecure to work with their staff, instead they work against them. BTW, I work in one of the largest ERs in California and the head nurse and nurse manager are both female. More of the nurses here have breast implants than don't. No joke.
    Don't blame your male manager for unprofessional nurses, please.If your manager wants to act like a child let him. If patients get turned away, its his rear end.

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