In your opinion, do surgeons really have great lifestyles??? - page 2

Hi - I am just curious about this because I know of someone who is a surgeon and really thinks something of himself. I've heard from a nurse friend that she would never want to be married to a... Read More

  1. by   TheCommuter
    Quote from HeyJude
    I don't think you could pay me enough money to be a surgeon, or any other sort of MD.
    Same here. MDs have 24-hour responsibility for their patients, which is something I'd never want to live with. The liability issues faced by physicians are another reason why I'd never want to be a doctor. I'd love to earn the six-figure income per year that most MDs rake in, but I'd hate to deal with the rest of the issues that seem to follow.
  2. by   happydays352
    Being my Dad is an MD I've met a surgeon or ten. Most of them are great guys, all of them are divorced. I think that says a lot for their family life, most of them are army though so that doesn't help matters. I think that has to be one of the most stressful jobs ever and I would never want to do it. Hats off to those that do.
  3. by   Diahni
    Quote from rph3664
    I know a woman whose husband is an ophthalmologist. She said there were several specialties where people should not have children, and the main one was cardiology. She had never heard of a cardiologist who had a happy home life; the job takes so much out of them, they have nothing to give their families. Their divorce rates are astronomical; they have incredibly high rates of suicide, alcoholism, and domestic violence and they do not appear to have normal life expectancies; and their children, whether biological or purchased (don't kid yourself, a lot of people do this), are usually physically attractive and high achievers but we all know that "trophy children" are quite dysfunctional on many levels. The men are the kind who trade in their decent, respectable wife for a drug-addicted stripper, you know?

    She added that the ophthalmologists she knows appear to have the same rate of personal and family dysfunction as the general population. Ditto family practice, pediatrics, dermatology, and oddly, OB/GYN.
    Dunno, my impression is doctors are like everybody else - some a real jerks, some are wonderful. It would be interesting to see the statistics on divorce. My casual impression is the a lot of nurses are divorced, but I don't know about doctors. As for "Trophy children," I have a so-called trophy daughter - good grades, good looking and doesn't get in trouble. But dysfunctional? No way - the kids with bad grades are dysfunctional. Don't know what looks have to do with it, although wealthy people, which I suppose includes some doctors, can and do marry good looking women, so it's no wonder the kids are good looking. It used to be that a male doctor was a real catch - no so any more. Two of my sisters are married to doctors, and I would, frankly, rather put a drill up my nose.
    Diahni
  4. by   rph3664
    Quote from cyberkat
    My uncle was a cardio-vascular surgeon.

    He was constantly under stress and worked 80-90 hour weeks. Patients, as they are everywhere, expected miracles.

    His family rarely saw him.

    He paid a fortune in liability insurance.

    I never saw him with a chip on his shoulder, but then people rarely did get to see much of him, so who knows?

    He decided it just wasn't worth it, and one day, he turned in his scrubs. He downsized his house and cars and he and his wife bought a small jewelry store. (Go figure.) He says he doesn't make nearly as much as he used to, but they're comfortable. He sees his wife and kids every day, and he's much happier.
    There's a critical access hospital in a small town not far from where I live who recently hired a general surgeon.

    Where did he come from?

    A large East Coast city, where he was the director of liver, kidney, and pancreas transplantation.

    I thought, "Either this guy P'd off a lot of people, or he simply burned out." I was relieved to learn, from someone whose husband works at that hospital, that it was the latter. He still wanted to do surgery but not with all the pressure that transplant surgery entailed, and also wanted to live in a rural area.

    As for "trophy children", what I meant was that you and I all know, or know of, children who feel that maybe their parents will love them if only they're perfect enough, or whose parents force them into things they aren't interested in to make themselves look good. And as for "buying" kids, don't kid yourself, that goes on all the time. There's a different between using a surrogate because you can't bear your own kids, or adopting for this reason or because you want to give a child a home, and doing those things just to avoid the inconvenience of pregnancy. Like raising a child isn't inconvenient?

    I'm quite aware that the divorce rate among nurses seems to be higher than the general population as well. I had always thought it was because of their hours and job stress until I worked at an HMO clinic, and at least at that clinic, it was because of the kinds of men they had married. Ex-convicts, men in their 30s who had never had a job, men with serious addictions, that kind of thing, and they knew the men were this way before they ever went out with them. Very, very co-dependent. One of these nurses was living with a man who had done time for rape and child molestation, but didn't have a problem with it because her 11-year-old daughter adored him. Several of them had ex-husbands who refused to pay child support because she was sending the money to guys in prison, but him having custody wasn't a good idea either.

    It seems that a lot of the hospital nurses where I work went to school after they were divorced. Some had good relationships with their exes and others didn't, just like the general population. And there's a situation in my family where a male nurse's wife left him for another man, therefore freeing him up to pursue relationships with men as well, which completely shocked a lot of people.
  5. by   Diahni
    Hi

    As for "trophy children", what I meant was that you and I all know, or know of, children who feel that maybe their parents will love them if only they're perfect enough, or whose parents force them into things they aren't interested in to make themselves look good.

    D:Yeah, I know kids like that - it's really setting a kid up for a lifetime of unhappiness, as if they're only lovable if they're making the parents proud.


    And as for "buying" kids, don't kid yourself, that goes on all the time. There's a different between using a surrogate because you can't bear your own kids, or adopting for this reason or because you want to give a child a home, and doing those things just to avoid the inconvenience of pregnancy. Like raising a child isn't inconvenient?


    D:Oh my! How inconvenient can it get - we just bought our kid a car - she crashed it, so my wings are clipped until hers gets out of the shop. Let me count the ways - this is what I don't understand - why don't some people know that not only do you have a new life when you have kids - you are also a new person. I've often wondered about these famous babes who have other women implanted with their embryos. Is it legal to do this just because you don't want to go through with pregnancy? Sounds illegal.


    I'm quite aware that the divorce rate among nurses seems to be higher than the general population as well. I had always thought it was because of their hours and job stress until I worked at an HMO clinic, and at least at that clinic, it was because of the kinds of men they had married. Ex-convicts, men in their 30s who had never had a job, men with serious addictions, that kind of thing, and they knew the men were this way before they ever went out with them. Very, very co-dependent.

    D: I have noticed this myself - female nurses (cuz I know the male ones are a whole other ball of wax) are the kind of people you want for best friends. I hate to characterize some of this a enabler, co-dependent, etc. Some of us are so willing to do for others, and these kinds of people often become nurses. As for loser guys, okay, I have lots of wonderful female friends - not nurses - yet many of them married loser guys, not once, but twice. Why? Not their fault - there are a lot of guys out there with big time problems. All the good ones are married, and if they're not married, they're gay. Sadly, gay guys would make wonderful husbands, I think.


    One of these nurses was living with a man who had done time for rape and child molestation, but didn't have a problem with it because her 11-year-old daughter adored him.

    D:AHHHHHHHHHHH! You know why!

    Several of them had ex-husbands who refused to pay child support because she was sending the money to guys in prison, but him having custody wasn't a good idea either.

    D: Here's another trend - my husband is a musician - a lot of his friends are married to nurses - hey, somebody needs reliable employment! Joke: What do you call a musician without a wife or girlfriend? Answer: Homeless.

    I think nurses are perceived as strong, real caretakers, so that maybe these messed up guys think they died and went to heaven when they meet a nurse. But women have to take care of themselves. Another issue is that (my own observation) that for the most part good girls get to live vicariously through bad men. My best "good girl" friends married the motorcycling, coke snorting wild guys. No thank you!
    I like the straight shooters.

    Diahni
  6. by   SharonH, RN
    Imagine this being a topic for discussion on a nursing board! I can't imagine pondering for longer than half a second the lifestyle of a surgeon.
  7. by   Agnus
    Quote from RealNurseWitch
    Both of them could house entire homeless families in their noses.
  8. by   Agnus
    Quote from RealNurseWitch
    Both of them could house entire homeless families in their noses.
    I guess this was not a plastic surgeon
  9. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from Agnus
    I guess this was not a plastic surgeon
    hahahahahahaha.

    i just woke up, and am groggily reading these posts.
    took me a minute, to get the joke.
    i needed that laugh.

    leslie
  10. by   Agnus
    Does anyone here actually know what a surgon's "life style" is?

    I hear a lot of negative generalities being tossed around concerning individual character.
  11. by   jlcole45
    Why are you curious? And why are you asking this on a nursing forum?
  12. by   Diahni
    Quote from jlcole45
    Why are you curious? And why are you asking this on a nursing forum?
    Curiosity killed the cat. But satisfaction brought him back! Nurses know what's going on better than anybody else, so I'd say she picked a good venue to pose the question.
    Diahni
  13. by   KGMJansen
    Quote from Jiggles123
    Hi - I am just curious about this because I know of someone who is a surgeon and really thinks something of himself. I've heard from a nurse friend that she would never want to be married to a surgeon because of the lifestyle but what do you guys see at work...

    So, from your perspective:
    1 - Do you think surgeons lives are stressful?
    2 - Is the money really worth all the time and stress of work?
    3 - Why the chip on their shoulder?
    4 - Do they spend a lot of time at work?
    5 - Does home life (wife and kids) suffer?

    Or, are they just in cloud 9 all the time because life is so great being a surgeon???????
    I was reading various blogs and stumbled onto this one. I realize it is quite old but I thought I would share my opinions on the matter. I am currently married to a surgical resident and going to nursing school. It has been quite the journey, I must say.

    So, to answer the questions that you asked.

    1 - Do you think surgeons lives are stressful?
    Yes, they are. I think a lot of the topics were covered, such as patient responsibility, expected to perform miracles, fixing other peoples mistakes, time commitment, long hours, sleep deprivation and never having that 'light at the end of the tunnel' feeling.

    2 - Is the money really worth all the time and stress of work?
    In a word, no. I can't speak for others that have gone into the medical field but I can explain why my husband decided on becoming a surgeon. I think the inital push into medicine was that he liked the challange and the subject matter. The reason he chose to be a surgeon is because of the versitility it offers him. Once he is done with his training, he is literally capable of doing almost anything. He can go into any practice with miminal to no training. However, he just loves operating. He likes the idea that you can cure someone in surgery, instead of just slowing the process down or treating the symptoms.

    3 - Why the chip on their shoulder?
    I think some of the chip has to do with the personality/ego. Sometimes it almost seems like you have to have a chip to get anyone to do anything. Or so they may have been taught. Personally, I don't think my husband falls into this category, however I am a bit bias. Also, I think it has to do with the time of day. My husband has a lot of patience at the beginning of a call shift but when he gets to the 24 hour period, and usually he has been on his feet the whole time, he can be very short. Then by the end of his call shift which pushes at 30+ hours, it is almost like they don't want to be paged/called unless the patient is actively dying. They just want to sleep.

    4 - Do they spend a lot of time at work?
    Yes, they spend a lot of time at work. His normal days are between 12-16+ hours, the day startes at 5am for him. When he takes call the days are 28-30+ hours, again the day starts at 5am and will end usually around 12noon the following day.

    5 - Does home life (wife and kids) suffer?
    Well yes it does. We are currently pregnant with our first baby and I am nervous as heck because of the time commitment. For me, the key has been to find a balance between being a supportive wife but also having my own activities and life. It was hard being a new wife because you want to do all these social events together, but you fast learn that you can't make plans around my husband's schedule. You make plans and stick with them and have a good time if he gets to come along and have a good time if he doesn't.

    I hope this answers some of your questions.

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