Right out of nursing school
I was recruited by the clinic I did a senior practicum in. It's a medical case management job and for the most part it's been good. The personalities are a little tricky but I haven't ever had trouble fitting in and it went fine for a year or so. Then everything in my family went to hell. My autistic son's problems at school escalated, requiring a good deal of time off (all time I had coming) but I got behind on my charts and never felt like I quite got caught up. Then my husband started drinking a lot, and decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Fortunately, he was able to stop drinking and really turn it around... Our marriage is better than ever. But then my stepdaughter showed up on our doorstep, addicted to meth and having been kicked out of her moms house. I got her into rehab, and then completely fell apart. I couldn't make it in to work without bursting into tears on the way, and I couldn't handle one more thing to do. I ended up taking fmla to get my depression and anxiety under control. Just prior to this, we had half of our staff out for fmla for medical issues, including my manager. She's still out. I started back to work on January 3, and the environment is so hostile I can't bear it. I know I wasn't doing well before I left... That's why I left. I feel able to do the job now, but I can't open my mouth without someone jumping all over me. It's awful. I feel like they want me to quit, so I told them I would be resigning in a month. Then HR called me to see if there were any medical restrictions placed on my return to work, and I said no, of course not, I am here for now to do the best I can. Which was translated to my coworkers that I will not be leaving. I felt totally on the spot when they confronted me about it, so I said I would like to try to stay... Then they jumped all over me. I know I need to move on. I feel like an idiot for not trying to find a med surge job right out of school... I can't get hired anywhere and I've been trying for 3 weeks. I don't know how long I can stay where I am at and keep my sanity. Plus I know it's even harder to get hired if you are unemployed. Where should I be trying to find clinical experience? What's the bottom rung for a washed out medical case manager/clinic rn with a bsn to start over. Our hospitals aren't hiring new grads right now, even though we have three programs in town pumping out grads. I'm not a new grad but I have less current clinical experience than one. I feel so low. I want to walk away from my degree, default on my loans and go wait tables. I keep hoping "this too shall pass"... But I don't see how.