I'm just... I don't know.

  1. 0
    Right out of nursing school I was recruited by the clinic I did a senior practicum in. It's a medical case management job and for the most part it's been good. The personalities are a little tricky but I haven't ever had trouble fitting in and it went fine for a year or so. Then everything in my family went to hell. My autistic son's problems at school escalated, requiring a good deal of time off (all time I had coming) but I got behind on my charts and never felt like I quite got caught up. Then my husband started drinking a lot, and decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Fortunately, he was able to stop drinking and really turn it around... Our marriage is better than ever. But then my stepdaughter showed up on our doorstep, addicted to meth and having been kicked out of her moms house. I got her into rehab, and then completely fell apart. I couldn't make it in to work without bursting into tears on the way, and I couldn't handle one more thing to do. I ended up taking fmla to get my depression and anxiety under control. Just prior to this, we had half of our staff out for fmla for medical issues, including my manager. She's still out. I started back to work on January 3, and the environment is so hostile I can't bear it. I know I wasn't doing well before I left... That's why I left. I feel able to do the job now, but I can't open my mouth without someone jumping all over me. It's awful. I feel like they want me to quit, so I told them I would be resigning in a month. Then HR called me to see if there were any medical restrictions placed on my return to work, and I said no, of course not, I am here for now to do the best I can. Which was translated to my coworkers that I will not be leaving. I felt totally on the spot when they confronted me about it, so I said I would like to try to stay... Then they jumped all over me. I know I need to move on. I feel like an idiot for not trying to find a med surge job right out of school... I can't get hired anywhere and I've been trying for 3 weeks. I don't know how long I can stay where I am at and keep my sanity. Plus I know it's even harder to get hired if you are unemployed. Where should I be trying to find clinical experience? What's the bottom rung for a washed out medical case manager/clinic rn with a bsn to start over. Our hospitals aren't hiring new grads right now, even though we have three programs in town pumping out grads. I'm not a new grad but I have less current clinical experience than one. I feel so low. I want to walk away from my degree, default on my loans and go wait tables. I keep hoping "this too shall pass"... But I don't see how.
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  3. 16 Comments so far...

  4. 0
    Are there other telephonic options to check out? Nurse triage line? Other insurance companies? Maybe county health nursing? Do you have a PHN degree?
  5. 2
    Quote from germjunkie
    Right out of nursing school I was recruited by the clinic I did a senior practicum in. It's a medical case management job and for the most part it's been good. The personalities are a little tricky but I haven't ever had trouble fitting in and it went fine for a year or so. Then everything in my family went to hell. My autistic son's problems at school escalated, requiring a good deal of time off (all time I had coming) but I got behind on my charts and never felt like I quite got caught up. Then my husband started drinking a lot, and decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Fortunately, he was able to stop drinking and really turn it around... Our marriage is better than ever. But then my stepdaughter showed up on our doorstep, addicted to meth and having been kicked out of her moms house. I got her into rehab, and then completely fell apart. I couldn't make it in to work without bursting into tears on the way, and I couldn't handle one more thing to do. I ended up taking fmla to get my depression and anxiety under control. Just prior to this, we had half of our staff out for fmla for medical issues, including my manager. She's still out. I started back to work on January 3, and the environment is so hostile I can't bear it. I know I wasn't doing well before I left... That's why I left. I feel able to do the job now, but I can't open my mouth without someone jumping all over me. It's awful. I feel like they want me to quit, so I told them I would be resigning in a month. Then HR called me to see if there were any medical restrictions placed on my return to work, and I said no, of course not, I am here for now to do the best I can. Which was translated to my coworkers that I will not be leaving. I felt totally on the spot when they confronted me about it, so I said I would like to try to stay... Then they jumped all over me. I know I need to move on. I feel like an idiot for not trying to find a med surge job right out of school... I can't get hired anywhere and I've been trying for 3 weeks. I don't know how long I can stay where I am at and keep my sanity. Plus I know it's even harder to get hired if you are unemployed. Where should I be trying to find clinical experience? What's the bottom rung for a washed out medical case manager/clinic rn with a bsn to start over. Our hospitals aren't hiring new grads right now, even though we have three programs in town pumping out grads. I'm not a new grad but I have less current clinical experience than one. I feel so low. I want to walk away from my degree, default on my loans and go wait tables. I keep hoping "this too shall pass"... But I don't see how.
    I don't like quoting it as "the bottom rung", but if you want to gain experience at the bedside, and the hospitals are not hiring new grads, then LTC it is. It is a very stressful job, so keep that in mind. But, if you can get into a skilled nursing facility, or an LTC with a skilled floor, that would be a good start. Even if it weren't skilled, its still bedside, and you gotta start somewhere. Then after time, hospitals will consider you. Good luck.
    funfunfun550 and germjunkie like this.
  6. 0
    Thank you. Bottom rung is more how I'm feeling... I was just wondering where I can start over. I was thinking LTC, if I could just get a good orientation. I do have skills, I just don't want to be made charge at this point.
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    Oh, and my title is PHN but I'm not certified. Just have my RN and BSN. When I left school I was ACLS and PALS, but let those lapse.
  8. 0
    I'm actually in a clinic right now. I see patients with the dr two days a week and manage everything else the other time. It's chronic disease management complicated by drug use, mental health issues and homelessness.
  9. 2
    What a rough few months! I'm sorry your coworkers seem to be reacting so negatively to your having taken FMLA. Have you considered another clinic position doing what you do with a fresh environment? Also, 3 weeks isn't that long to be looking, so don't give up hoope on that yet. I'd try to stay employed while you look, unless it starts to make you depressed and anxious again. It really, really is easier to find a job when you're employed. Definitely look in to nursing homes, keep applying to hospitals. I don't know what state you're in, but in my state you can apply for public health RN jobs through the state's DOH website, so you might want to look there.
    elprup and germjunkie like this.
  10. 0
    Thanks. In my area, all of the state stuff is contracted through non profits... Including the place I am at now. I'm also looking for something inside the parent organization. There's just not a lot out there.... I went on an interview for a similar position in another clinic, but I got the feeling that my one-disease experience isn't quite enough. This place is looking for a care coordinator. It's a family practice, including pediatrics. I work in HIV management. I haven't heard yet, but I don't feel great about the interview. My confidence is shot for sure.
  11. 3
    You are not washed out. You are an RN with a BSN...you have some options. You work in HIV management, but think of all of the other chronic diseases that may develop as a consequence of HIV; the psych needs/issues; family/social issues...You know a lot more than you give yourself credit for.

    Make a list of the things that interest you and try to start from there. But repeat after me: I AM NOT WASHED UP.
    GrnTea, funfunfun550, and CrufflerJJ like this.
  12. 0
    Don't discount your current experience. Nurses work in all different areas. If you want to feel a little better, check out some threads of people having nervous breakdowns in their med/surg jobs.
    There is a new trend developing right now, and this is paid for by Medicare. Large internal medicine practices are hiring Population Care Coordinators to monitor care of complicated patients and improve outcomes. They would love your experience. You can try to get another office job, with a better environment. You can look into home health, adult day care centers, etc. There is so much out there, and I am sure you will find your niche.
    Good luck!


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