I wanted to explain what happened to me... - page 7

Hey everyone... I want to thank everyone for the prayers. I'm sorry I haven't been able to explain why I needed them and what I meant by saying I was in trouble, but I have recovered enough... Read More

  1. by   CseMgr1
    Quote from LoriAlabamaRN
    Hi everybody,

    The meeting was horrible. I was fired. Legally I don't even have a leg to stand on because of the fact that due to the Ambien I was impaired legally. They did say that they will not report me to the BON for it, which is something I guess. I'm just so sad right now. I've been calling around town trying to see what is open, and I have an interview Monday.

    I just can't believe this happened. I can't believe they would fire me over a simple mistake. The sad part is, I believe that the best friend of my administrator (who is our current risk manager) has been wanting my job and that may have a lot to do with it. It just isn't fair. They told me that they wouldn't trust me anymore, that they would be worrying all night when I worked as to whether or not I had made the mistake again. What a load of crap. It was a freak accident, one I have taken responsibility for but I don't think the price should be so steep. I offered to go back on probation, but they said no. I was crying my heart out as I packed my office belongings. I am so devastated to leave, I loved my job.

    My resume is in good shape though, I have a wonderful annual evaluation, plus copies of the forms I had created and implemented. Someone should be willing to hire me. I just hate the feeling of being unwanted by a facility that I thought I'd be at for many years.

    I'm drowning my sorrows with a (weak) rum and coke, and I think I'll spend a couple days feeling sorry for myself and then pull myself back up and set out to find a (hopefully better) job.

    Thank you all for your support. It has really meant more than you could ever know.

    Lori
    This really sucks, Lori. God bless you! :angryfire
  2. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from swanganz
    Lori,
    I have just read through your situation and all of the supportive responses. I too feel bad for you. However I am probably going to post a not so popular response. I think that the best choice that you could have made that day was to call off from work. You said multiple times that you didn't feel right. You could have made critical errors that could cost someone their life. Everyone of us feels "impaired" at times whether it is from precription drugs, lack of sleep, etc and we as professionals have to determine at that time if we are clear of mind and safe to do our job. Intentional or not, you made an error in judgment by going to work that day. It should be a lesson to all. I am sure you are a good person but I don't think that you are helping yourself by feeling like the victim. your coworkers should have maybe handled it differently by confronting you, suggesting that you go home. In any event, own up to what has happened and move forward. I wish you well.
    hindsight is 20/20, as many of us have experienced.
    moreover, as nurses we are often caught between a rock and a hard place.
    how many times have we literally dragged ourselves into work, knowing we shouldn't have, yet fearing the repercussions of staying home?
    yet when we do show up, we are often scorned for doing so.
    more often than not, there is not a satisfactory solution in that we're damned if we do and damned if we don't.

    my perception of lori's story, is she has shown tremendous accountability.
    in hearing her frustration and grief, isn't it kinder to support her in wherever the recovery process takes her?

    and (((lori))), i know you are financially strapped.
    but please, take a few days to pamper yourself.
    in doing so, you will gradually rebuild your strength in going forward, enabling you to show prospective employers your love of nsg, which will shine through on your interviews.
    i'm such a fan of yours. :redpinkhe
    and you have many, many admirers rooting for your peace and well-being.

    leslie
  3. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    Quote from earle58
    hindsight is 20/20, as many of us have experienced.
    moreover, as nurses we are often caught between a rock and a hard place.
    how many times have we literally dragged ourselves into work, knowing we shouldn't have, yet fearing the repercussions of staying home?
    yet when we do show up, we are often scorned for doing so.
    more often than not, there is not a satisfactory solution in that we're damned if we do and damned if we don't.

    my perception of lori's story, is she has shown tremendous accountability.
    in hearing her frustration and grief, isn't it kinder to support her in wherever the recovery process takes her?

    and (((lori))), i know you are financially strapped.
    but please, take a few days to pamper yourself.
    in doing so, you will gradually rebuild your strength in going forward, enabling you to show prospective employers your love of nsg, which will shine through on your interviews.
    i'm such a fan of yours. :redpinkhe
    and you have many, many admirers rooting for your peace and well-being.

    leslie
    Leslie,

    I am a huge fan of yours as well. Thank you so much for your support. I don't mean to sound as if I don't take responsibility for what happened- I do, and I know that the fault is mine. I just feel so horrible. I had a job that I loved, and I made a mistake and it's all gone. I can't believe that I won't be given another chance, after all I have done in my position.

    Financially I am in a horrible place, but I know things have to get better. I will go to this interview on Monday with my head held high and I know I will never make this mistake again...
  4. by   CseMgr1
    Quote from earle58
    hindsight is 20/20, as many of us have experienced.
    moreover, as nurses we are often caught between a rock and a hard place.
    how many times have we literally dragged ourselves into work, knowing we shouldn't have, yet fearing the repercussions of staying home?
    yet when we do show up, we are often scorned for doing so.
    more often than not, there is not a satisfactory solution in that we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. leslie
    :bowingpur <<< Me, in the Amen Corner.
  5. by   CseMgr1
    Quote from LoriAlabamaRN
    Leslie,

    I am a huge fan of yours as well. Thank you so much for your support. I don't mean to sound as if I don't take responsibility for what happened- I do, and I know that the fault is mine. I just feel so horrible. I had a job that I loved, and I made a mistake and it's all gone. I can't believe that I won't be given another chance, after all I have done in my position.

    Financially I am in a horrible place, but I know things have to get better. I will go to this interview on Monday with my head held high and I know I will never make this mistake again...
    Honey,
    You didn't make a mistake. You were in the WRONG place at the WRONG time.

    This is THEIR loss and YOUR gain. They will NEVER be be able to replace a nurse like you!

    And you can take THAT to the bank!
  6. by   smk1
    seriously, look into getting unemployment. The worse they can do is say no. Also if you have a hard time finding a job for a bit and are denied unemployment, maybe look into getting a paper route while you search and interview. It isn't the most glamourous of jobs, but it is usually at night for just a couple of hours and you still will be able to have most of the day free for interviewing and such. It isn't a lot of money, but it is usually a very easy job to get and may help to keep you afloat if you aren't out of work for too long. Good luck, and I know you will find a great job very soon!
  7. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    I really hope I can find another job...

    I appreciate the support, but I DID do something wrong. I made a stupid mistake and I admitted to it (even though I didn't have to since they don't test for Ambien). What makes me feel worse is knowing that there will be residents who expect me to be there and I won't be. That breaks my heart. I have always felt honored to be able to take care of our elderly population. I have learned so much from them, and I have been so happy to know that I am improving their lives. I just hope to find another job where I can make a difference again.

    Wow... how long does a crying jag last before it becomes a nervous breakdown... I can't stop beating myself up over this...
  8. by   kat911
    Quote from LoriAlabamaRN
    I HAVE owned up to what I did. I have taken responsibility for it. At the time I had no reason to suspect ANYTHING other than fatigue. I've been a good nurse for over two years now. I work hard and genuinely care about both my residents and my staff. Do you think I'm not scared thinking that I could have made a mistake? When you are an RN supervisor, you do not have the luxury of being able to call in and say "Hey, I'm sleepy so I'm not coming in." At the time, that is ALL that I thought it was. I even picked up Red Bull and drank it trying to become more alert. I would never have stayed at work if I had known that I had taken an Ambien. It was a mistake, NOT a lapse in judgement.

    I have to agree with swanganz you should not have gone to work. I too work a job where it is hard on everyone if one of us calls in, but sometimes you do what you must because you are a professional. I don't think the response from your DON was very professional either. You made an error in judgement and it sounds like you deserved a chance to show you wouldn't make that mistake again. You may be right about them looking for an opportunity to get rid of you. I trust you have reevaluated your behaviors that lead you to take stimulants in order to make it through a shift and on top of that have to take a med to mediate the side effects. You need to start taking care of yourself and give yourself high priority in your own life, I think you give all you have to others. Good luck with your job search.
  9. by   sunbeach73
    What part of Lori's post was not understood? She KNOWS what she did was wrong. It was a mistake of her taking the wrong medication when she was upset. Geeze.....
  10. by   ladyinred667
    Quote from jodyangel
    OH lori...if you have been fired File for Unemployement!! If you are told you can't because your facility has said you were impaired or they give another Phooney reason...ask to dispute it. You get a phone interview to dispute the refusal. And you can and Willl win your case to get unemployement while you look for another job. Trust me..it takes determination but it can be done.
    And def. quit that facility and work Agency for a bit. More money, less hassle while you look around.
    My thoughts are with you today...Jody
    If you go that route, it is in your best interests to hire a lawyer. I just went through that process with a vindictive former boss (and former friend). He had a lawyer and I didn't, and that made the difference.

    Good luck, Lori.
  11. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    I forgot to ask, what do I say when I am asked why I left my last job?? I can't say "because I was impaired on duty"...

    Does anyone have any experience with title loans?
  12. by   Elisheva
    I owe Lori a debt of gratitude. I am returning to nursing soon after a 10 year absence. There was a time when I would have done exactly what Lori did - I would have felt responsible to go to work no matter what. I have a huge sense of responsibility to my work. However, Lori's situation has shown me that we have an even larger obligation: to say no when we aren't feeling well or up to the task. I will risk getting fired for calling in as opposed to going through the hell Lori has been through. I would rather tell a future employer that I was fired for calling in sick that having to say that I was fired for being impaired.

    Thank you for sharing, Lori. I know this has been painful and difficult for you and I wish you all the best. At least I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you may have helped a lot of other nurses.
  13. by   CseMgr1
    Quote from LoriAlabamaRN
    I forgot to ask, what do I say when I am asked why I left my last job?? I can't say "because I was impaired on duty"...

    Does anyone have any experience with title loans?
    Just tell them you were terminated. You don't have to go into the gory details, unless they ask. All the NH is going to do is tell your prospective employer your dates of employment and whether or not you are eligible for rehire.

    Unfortunately I do have experience with Title Loans. I have had one on my car for over a year, now, and the interest is OUTRAGEOUS. If you need money, get it from another source. If something happens and you are a day late with a payment they will come and get your property, sell it at auction, pocket the change...and it's all legal. Stay AWAY from them!

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