I really need to vent!!!!
I had the worse day of my life (with nursing). I am on a VERY BUSY ENT/urology surgery floor. My last clinical day is tomorrow, then I only have class, a specialty area for 7 shifts and exams.....then I will be a nurse. I have been struggling through this program for 5 and a half years, (for various reasons....I had some bad luck!)
Today I had the biggest patient load that I ever had and I was on meds.
I had one patient in respiratory distress, spiking a fever, another patient needing a new IV to be inserted, a woman with a trach that I could not understand, only expressed herself through grabbing my arm and hitting me...while I tryed to help her, by changing her and suctioning her, and it was not pretty!! respiratory secretions, vomit etc.
I had another patient who thought she was a drill sergent, commmanding every step I took, and would not let me do anything for her, except answer her "questions", and pass her a bed pan.....I was not allowed to take her vital signs, remove her clips or do her dressing, because I am "not a real nurse". Thank God, my teacher passed her on to someone else.....I know it is the patients right.
I think with practice with better time management, I could handle the patients.
What really got to me was the lack of help from staff. As a student, it feels like we are expected to be an orderly and a nurse. It is not possible to do everything!! The staff nurses have orderlies to wash their patients.
I have the greatest teacher, but I have not had her for a while, so I still have to go over my meds with her and it makes me late, while I wait for her...she has 6 others students to supervise.
I was working with a nurse that helped a lot, yet made it seem like she was doing me a huge favor......when in fact I had all her patients!! I also did not agree with some of her techniques that would have been a failure in nursing school
! Yet I am just the student.....so "I don't know better".
It was completely out of character for me to feel so mad and upset that I was shaking!! Not to mention 9 hours without a break!!!!
I cannot believe how I felt today, I seriously thought of leaving, for the first time, I was REALLY mad at the government for making us work in these conditions. It is totally disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!I want to be there more for my patients, but there is no time! I know this is reality.....Lucky for me, as a nurse... I will be working at a federal hospital in geriatrics where the working conditions are MUCH better!! I have been working as an orderly for 3 years there, so I know how it works.
I have wanted to be a nurse since I was 16, and I love what I do, (normally).
It felt good to have a patients mom, tell me I will be a good nurse. It made things feel better.