I snapped - page 5

Well, I have just completed the most hellish evening of work I have ever done in my years of nursing. I went of the deep end, and I am feeling just totally disgusted with myself, I ... Read More

  1. by   Sundowner
    Mattsmom,
    No one here has disagreed with you in the fact that the actions taken by myself were wrong. The anger that you sense does not come from that opinion as for we are all in agreement, it comes from how you have stated it. Aparently you have read this thread twice and still are under the impression you may be the only one here who has a sense of what is right and professional despite my last post where I thought I very clearly explained myself and my reasons for posting hereas well as the responses of others, and yet you still seem to believe that YOU have somehow posted here from atop your white horse and gave us all a lesson? We were most certainly wrong and you were the first one to point that out.....BRAVO! you are the supreme nurse.

    This has shed some light into exactly how it is that you found yourself dodging a rolodex.
  2. by   l.rae
    by Sundowner [/i]


    This has shed some light into exactly how it is that you found yourself dodging a rolodex. [/B][/QUOTE]


    :roll :roll :roll :roll :roll
  3. by   formernurse
    Bravo sundowner----it amazes me that more nurses don't snap with all of the abuse being dished out. After all, we ARE human.

    Maybe I have no right to be voicing my opinion, but I had to leave nursing 7 years ago after sustaining injuries to my hand and then to my back and knee two weeks later (while working on a high risk psychiatric unit). When I was backed into a corner and threatened with a serious injury, that was the last straw for me.

    As depressed as I felt over having to leave the profession I had loved and practiced since 1966, after reading some of the posts on these threads, maybe it was better that I couldn't return to nursing. Sorry that sentence was so long, but I think you all know where I am coming from. Do I miss it? You bet I do.

    I truly feel sorry for the nurses of today, and admire all of you for hanging in there.
  4. by   nursegoodguy
    Mattsmom just what was said to make you think someone is "projecting blame" on you? Blame for what? For the situation with Sundowner and Bertha?
    What people have a problem with is your comment, "all I can say is no wonder they can't get decent help. "
    Where's my rolladex when I need it!
    And there also seemed to be a bit of a holier than thou attitude in there too...
    Now I am curious as to just what did you say to that nurse to get her or him so angry that they threw something at you!!!
    With words I can inspire some to do greatness, with words I can cause others to throw a rolladex at me...
  5. by   Peeps Mcarthur
    Someone got so pissed at you that they threw a rolodex?

    Now this thread is moving right along!

    It's topical to the thread.........go ahead.


    Do tell!

    And please..........nobody make assumptions of fault or cast aspersions unless unrightiousely provoked.

    Think about all the hurt that may be avoided if someone has a forum to express thier anger and see how it affects other people before they put it into practice.

    Maybe with a discussion of the circumstances you may side with Mattsmom and handle that situation better the next time(you know it will) it happens to you. Maybe with a discussion and an open forum to lay the truth out there, Mattsmom may see a way to handle that situation diferently.

    Mattsmom's oppinion does seem to be the only dissenting one, but a thread is just a bunch of fluff without a difference of opinnion(someone may even disagree with that!) and we need to attempt to see it from both sides.

    Anyhoo, I would like to know what circumstances led up to the "rolodex thing"
  6. by   mattsmom81
    Perhaps I have let my personal feelings enter into this conversation....and for that I apologize.

    We all have been in situations we wish we had handled differently and this is one of mine. I am sorry if I came off 'holier than thou'.. I do not aspire to be that kind of person....I was truly surprised at what I perceived as anger in some posts (granted it is sometimes hard to read emotions in print accurately)

    The comment I made about nursing homes may have come from a bit of prejudice on my part because I was doing an agency shift at a LTC center when the 'rollodex nurse' unleashed her fit of anger at me. That was my ONLY venture into LTC so I wondered if a little different standard of behavior existed there, I guess! No offense to those who do LTC, I know it takes a special nurse to do LTC.

    And no, Peeps, since you're curious I did nothing to deserve a projectile rollodex....nothing in my mind anyway....I heard this nurse muttering to herself, then she began to throw things around the desk, and suddenly the rollodex became airborne....she worked herself up all by herself and the other nurse on duty told me later she did this frequently. I found out later she was on probation for it...she was unstable and needed help.

    We all 'reach out limits' in our personal and professional lives at times. And yes, this is a good place to vent. I hope you will all forgive me if I was out of line....I have very strong feelings about violence in the workplace, and was trained by military nurses so I do tend to like things 'just so'.

    Peace all and I hope you will all accept my apology!
  7. by   nakitamoon
    I snapped,,,,,,,,,, but not at any of nurses or cnas,,,,,,,,,,, Working assisted living,,,, I find the 8 hour employees,,,,, maintainance,,,, housekeeping,,,,,, activities,,,,,,, don't even realize, ,,,,,, we have 24/7 work,,,,,,,,, They come to nursing complaining this resident,,,,, has bowel movement on toilet,,,,,,,duhhh,,,,,, this one is hoarding,,,,,,,, duh,,,,,,, PEOPLE this is why we have a job!!!!!!!!! They irritate me to death!!!!!!!!! Put suggestion in ,,,,,,,,,, those departments should work shifts,,,,, and know that we have our residents for reason,,,,,,,,,,, they need us,,,,,,,, if they didn't would not be living with us,,,,,,,,,
    It's an ongoing battle,,,,,,,,,,,, Moon,,,,,
  8. by   hapeewendy
    hapeewendy enters and plays the role of hapee medium......
    personally I see both sides here, And I reallllllly think that some words in various ppls posts have been grossly misinterpreted and made personal when they probably were not meant in that way.
    sundowner, I have no doubt in my mind you are a wonderful caring nurse, great patient advocate and that you get along with most of your co workers just fine, but my friend you are not a robot, you come complete with feelings,emotions and a big old heart, so like the rest of us , your emotions will come thru even when you try not to let them.
    having said that, I do agree with mattsmom in that nothing justifies sundowners behaviour, and that she should infact speak to someone about what happend and how she responded, I dont mean a pysch person, or counsellor or anything , but it is a good idea to speak with your supervisor or boss or someone else you feel you can trust. I understand that bertha was a pain in the butt and she was WAY inapropriate on her actions as well, however from the initial part of your first post you did seem to pre empt the fact that trouble was going to happen by talking about how bad things were going and your feelings about bertha before the incident took place.
    as someone who was on the recieving end of working with an emotionally unstable nurse (I'm not for one second suggesting that you are emotionally unstable sundowner, so dont think that!) I know what it is like to want to rip someones head off in retaliation for something they have said/done to realllllly anger you, but the fact is, you dont do it, and the fact that you lost control, even momentarily suggests that you might need some help , or at least someone to vent to or talk to.
    I hope that you continue to post here and get support because this board is a great way to do that and get a feel for what your fellow nurses think, We all care about you, otherwise we wouldnt have responded.
    all the best
    Wendy
    ps - great name choice on the bertha thing there, I totally had an image of a scary nurse ratchit type (I humbly apologize if any of you are named bertha, I am just kidding)
  9. by   Brownms46
    Originally posted by mattsmom81

    We all 'reach out limits' in our personal and professional lives at times. And yes, this is a good place to vent. I hope you will all forgive me if I was out of line....I have very strong feelings about violence in the workplace, and was trained by military nurses so I do tend to like things 'just so'.

    Peace all and I hope you will all accept my apology!
    Mattsmom...I think you made a very eloquent response to some pretty Ouch..critizisms. I really understand where you were coming from, esp. since that incident was your first, and only experince with LTC. Even though I know many caring, and devoted people working LTC, I too have seen the uglier side. I can remember before they required CNAs to be licensed!...And I do mean !

    I found a NA sleeping in a pt's room, and he had stuffed a napkin in a resident's mouth so he couldn't holler out!!! I fired hiim on the spot, and called the adminstrator at home!! I also called the POLICE!! I later found out that this guy and one of the female aide friend working with him... were wanted for bank robbery, AND were ex-felons!!! It was brought to my attention, that they knew where I lived, and planned to assault me and my family..!!!! I never went back to that nursing home!!! This was also a one nite deal! I related this to say that experience definitely affects our perceptions!

    Work place violence is awful thing....as the news reports tesify to everyday, and it is a very scary thing. But so is verbal abuse...and of which I think "Berthat" was definitely guilty, though still not worthy of being grabbed, or slapped. But we all have agreed on that!!!!

    As one who has had to make more than my share of apologies on this site...I must say...you did this very well!
    Last edit by Brownms46 on Jun 21, '02
  10. by   Sleepyeyes
    Originally posted by mattsmom81
    Perhaps I have let my personal feelings enter into this conversation....and for that I apologize.

    We all have been in situations we wish we had handled differently and this is one of mine. I am sorry if I came off 'holier than thou'.. I do not aspire to be that kind of person....I was truly surprised at what I perceived as anger in some posts (granted it is sometimes hard to read emotions in print accurately)

    The comment I made about nursing homes may have come from a bit of prejudice on my part because I was doing an agency shift at a LTC center when the 'rollodex nurse' unleashed her fit of anger at me. That was my ONLY venture into LTC so I wondered if a little different standard of behavior existed there, I guess! No offense to those who do LTC, I know it takes a special nurse to do LTC.

    Peace all and I hope you will all accept my apology!
    Thanks, mattsmom... I needed that. Forgiven. :kiss
    And I was not "mad" at you. I felt you were being overly critical, but I didn't have the words to say it. All I could do was stare blankly at the page and think, "Like something you say is going to change her mind?? yeah, right..."
    Last edit by Sleepyeyes on Jun 21, '02
  11. by   Brownms46
    Originally posted by Sleepyeyes


    Thanks, mattsmom... we needed that. Forgiven.
    AWWWW... very nice...
  12. by   Peeps Mcarthur
    Mattsmom,

    The "rolodex nurse" seems to have a medication level askew

    You were just in the flight path. Like someone throwing a club on the golfcourse after a bad shot................Er....Uhmm not that I would know anything about that.

    I have been reading your posts for a long time now. I always find them thoughtfuly worded and to the point.

    Not ever spiteful, like Rolodex Nurse(new insider term for "going nursing"), getting your thoughts across in a nonconfrontational manner.

    Since I was playing abitrator/advocate I can say from a neutral position that what you did was a truly wonderful thing:kiss and I wish that everyone here had your insight.

    Thanks
  13. by   Sundowner
    Okay, my turn!
    First let me say to mattsmom, please dont ever apologize for your personal feelings, at least not to me anyway, those are in my opinion, the ones that matter most and the ones I care to hear, the ones that we learn from. I did get quite a bitter taste in my mouth from your posts, and I apologize if I intern offended you or misinterpreted what you were trying to convey.
    Some one once said to me, and as I get older in life I tend to believe it, they said, "We are all a bunch of azzholes, but some of us are better at it than others". I am convinced that each and every one of us has at least a handfull of people out there who consider us to be asses. I quiver over the reality of this because in my head I am sure that I am not, but somepeople out there may disagree. I strive to be as non-assholian as possible and for this reason I have concluded that I am just not as good an ******* as alot of people out there.

    Bertha.......she gets the honor of being a flaming *******, was probably her birth right as I suspect she was born unto a family of assholians.

    Mattsmom, you did however enlighten me on a whole new aspect of this situation when you mentioned "lateral violence". I pondered that thought in my brain and I have concluded while Bertha added the fuel to my fire, it was not her I desired to beat as I had stated but it was the patient that got under my skin so badly. I have realized that in my years I have handled many out of controll over the top patients and family members, but never have I encountered such behavior as preformed by Mr.Nasty, nor have I ever had another nurse (needless to say one I had little tolerance for to begin with) make such a bold attempt as to prevent me from my action.

    I ask myself what would have happend if Bertha kept her mouth shut and backed off and I see myself being completly content with Mr.nasty in his room, out of my face, and the staff free from insult. Yes I was enraged with his mouth and the "n" word signed sealed and delivered my initial action, which I am still not sure was right. Then I caught myself thinking who would have taken my "lateral outburst" if it werent for Bertha? I convince myself that there wouldnt have been one........so........is it technically "lateral" or not?
    Have I confused everyone?

    Someone else in a previous post had mentioned (and I am sorry but I forget who posted it, but it was a good question).
    What if Bertha went o ff the deep end over my comment and got violent with me herself? Awesome notion......my response to that is I think I would have crapped my pants and that natrually would have de-escaladed the whole incident...lol. Seriously, I dont know if I was that out of controll, I remember thinking to myself as I spit out "beat the **** out of you". that yes ...I really chose the wrong words. I had been trying to think of what to say to her to get her to back off and nothing came....but that, and as it came I was saying to myself oh my god I cant believe I said that. She stormed off imediatly to the phone, and I said oh boy here we go. I honestly, and dont yell at me people! I laugh when I look back at it, I remember the tone I used.....she got the same treatment my kids get when thewords "stop it" dont cut it....I give there arm a little squeeze and give them the look of death and speak in a soft deep very slow very serious tone..."If you dont stop that...you are gonna get it". The tone is soft and serious...and its all in the eyes.....Poor Bertha got the look of doom too! Then I wonder, how scary that could have been? My kids dont get it half the time and end up being grounded or what not.....she must have just been ticked off cause I treated her like a child?! LOL.....or maybe the look of doom only works on adults?

    Okay...enough of that, now. I have to say the only other violence/inappropriate launching of office supply I have ever encounterd was last year in relation to a nurse who was being quetioned about her narcotics.....she attacted the charge nurse when she was asked to present her cart keys. That was scary......and obviously not similar at all to the fore mentioned types of abuse.

    I would love to hear other rolo-nurse stories.

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