I really hope someone can help! - page 2
i need help. i am an rn, licensed in ky and in. i am going through a messy divorce with a selfish man who has virtually bankrupted me and my two children, 8 and 6. i want desperately to... Read More
May 21, '03Soundslikesirens, I remember you from long ago. haven't seen you here for years; now I know why.
I have nothing to add to your thread except take care of yourself and never argue with your ex in front of (or through) the kids. Please don't give him the power to control your life or attitude; you are able to move on and build a better life for yourself. Don't let him control how you feel; I can't help you much but I do strongly recommend counselling when you need to sort things out. I'm not sure if your lawyer was very helpful (I know nothing about Ky laws); but maybe you should go lawyer shopping if that is what you think.
May 22, '03I suggest you break all ties to this man, financially and relationship-wise. Start changing all your personal information so that it is yours alone, including your name, social security, income, taxes, etc. Move as far away from him as possible, so that he cannot be a distraction to you. Your primary focus should be yourself and your child(ren). Also, I would in some way, either through distance or legal manouvers, make it so that he cannot see the kids. He is a bad influence, period. Finally, hire a lawyer if you need help for any of the above. The law is very much in favor of females in cases like this and will give you a very good amount of leeway, including child support. Simply tell (the lawyer and maybe the judge) your case, and they will be more than happy to understand. I cannot stress the importance of these steps towards reorganizing your life, which you obviously need to do, and the less distractions you have, the easier it will be to do.
Keep your chin up. Stay focused one day at a time, and be thankful that you're a nurse and will have a job no matter where you go in this country.
May 22, '03At the time that I went through my divorce (in KY), I was told that if I moved more than 120 miles away, I could actually lose custody of my daughter, should my ex inforce some kind of KY statute on this issue. Be careful, and consult your lawyer on this. Plus, your kids are probably having enough trouble dealing with the divorce (no matter how bad the marriage was)- do you want to move them far away from their friends and support system to a place where they know no one? Plus visitation will become much hairier than it already probably is. You might have to consider sending them to their father's house alone on a plane or bus, as you will be responsible for getting them there to uphold your end of the visitation agreement. No matter how much of a jerk your ex is, your kids will probably want to continue a relationship with him, and it won't fare well for you in the long run to deny them this.
May 22, '03I fee for you, but I have a question.....Can you legaly take your kids out of the state??Who has custody??? If you don't have FULL custody, he might fight you on it.