I really do not get it!

  1. i really do not get why in the world some nurses have to be so mean to other co-workers.

    i beleived that all of us as rn one common goal is to take care of patients, and of course to do a good job at it. but when i get reminders of what people do to me, or telling something i did or tried to the management team behind my back is not a good thing.

    now i know why there was such a shortage of nurses.

    i am definitely not going to encourage anyone ever into being a nurse.
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  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   Rocknurse
    I'm with you. I just spent two years working towards my promotion, and all my co-workers knew what it meant to me. I even got two certifications on the way because I was so determined. I got the promotion I desired and I've been in the job precisely 3 weeks and was not told that my job has been taken away from me because my coworkers don't like my style of management. My style of management consists of doing the right thing and expecting everyone to step up to the plate and take responsibility. I tried to clean house but all I've had in the past 3 weeks is constant whining that there are too many demands placed upon them. It's funny how everyone else seems to have a say on my career except me. All that work for nothing. So much to say and so few willing to do. Now planning a new future somewhere else. Just feel so betrayed.
  4. by   General E. Speaking, RN
    Wow. Sorry you are having difficulties. Personally, I despise those who are petty. The ultimate goal is to care for patients. Unfortunately, nursing is dominated by females and females can be caddy. Maybe you need to change jobs? I work with a great bunch of nurses who are all about teamwork. Nursing is a 24 hour operation. What one shift cannot do the other should pick up. Sometimes, however, the slackers take advantage of this situation and screw it up for the rest of us.

    I always try and speak positively about nursing (even if I've had a day from hell). Mainly because I am hoping secretly that there will be some good nurses out there when I get older
  5. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from General E. Speaking, RN
    Wow. Sorry you are having difficulties. Personally, I despise those who are petty. The ultimate goal is to care for patients. Unfortunately, nursing is dominated by females and females can be caddy. Maybe you need to change jobs? I work with a great bunch of nurses who are all about teamwork. Nursing is a 24 hour operation. What one shift cannot do the other should pick up. Sometimes, however, the slackers take advantage of this situation and screw it up for the rest of us.

    I always try and speak positively about nursing (even if I've had a day from hell). Mainly because I am hoping secretly that there will be some good nurses out there when I get older
    there absolutely are good nurses out there, and always will be.
    the problem is, the bitter ones, are the ones who get the attention.
    sadly, i do have to agree that i would not recommend nsg to anyone, anymore.
    i also agree, it has to do with working in a predominantly female field.
    heck, there are even a handful on this bb, that are truly immature (being nice, here) and they haven't a clue...
    they're too busy blaming others.

    anyways, i digress.
    it is tragic that it is the way it is.
    acting honorably and virtuously in nursing, often ends up biting you in the butt.

    and it gets old. :-(

    leslie
  6. by   Jules A
    Quote from leslie :-D
    sadly, i do have to agree that i would not recommend nsg to anyone, anymore.
    leslie
    Oh Leslie, no, say it ain't so! You have so much sage advice to offer I'd hate to think that you aren't recommending our profession to others. We need caring, competent nurses. I doubt my experience is all that unique but in any event I've worked closely with maybe 60 nurses and have to say there really are only 4 that stand out to me as unbearable and two of them were just totally incompetent which makes me more nuts than the nasty ones. Not bad odds imo. I don't know but I'd urge anyone who is miserable with their team to find another one and another one and another one if necessary until they find one they fit in with and can actually enjoy during all these stressful hours of hard work.
  7. by   elprup
    leslie - your quote, "it is tragic that it is the way it is.
    acting honorably and virtuously in nursing, often ends up biting you in the butt." rings so true for me. As a new/old grad looking for a 3rd job, i've learned I must keep my head down learn, kiss butt, and don't offer to help anybody but myself, and worry only about my job, and patients just have to wait so I can just keep a job. This is so not who I am and so not how I work. I am beginning to hate nursing.
  8. by   coolpeach
    I just graduated and got my first job at the beginning of the year, and boy was I in for a crash course in reality. I saw nurses as good natured, giving, caring, nurturing, loving etc etc. While I have met a FEW nurse that fit that description, mainly its not true. I have seen them be so nice to a fellow co-worker to their face, and then say the meanest things about them on their day off (I mean honestly laughing about them behind their back in a group). They don't seem to get that on their next day off they will be the butt of the joke. I have seen them set each other up just so the person doing the setting up can say "see what she did". Its horrible !!!! Before nursing I worked in business managment, and I have NEVER seen such petty, unprofessional, immature behavior in my adult life. It amazes me that hospitals, and the managment who there allow it. If I were in managment I would fire me some nurses.
  9. by   shoegalRN
    I, too, came from the business world and I am not accustomed to this nursing "culture". I worked with MEN who didnt play these passive aggressive games that majority of the nurses I work(ed) with seem to be a pro at. Men stated their issue with you to your FACE, hashed it out, and then moved on. I have seen nurses set up their co-workers that was not part of the "clique" to fail and either fired or transferred to another unit.

    And I've only been a nurse for a year.

    I can't tell you how much I've seen these so-called "grown" women act like the mean girls in high school. Lord, dont let anybody know more than they do, they will try to find every little mistake and then go running off the management with "see what I caught, I would NEVER do such and such". Anything to make themselves look better.

    So, I go to work, keep my head to the grind, take care of my pts and go home. Yes, I am part of a committee, and I will be challenging the clinical ladder, but do you think I let any of my co-workers know this? Hell no!
  10. by   vegas2009
    [quote=labrador4122;4354342]i really do not get why in the world some nurses have to be so mean to other co-workers.


    it's called pms, menopause, not getting any/enough sex, or simply --- b*t** syndrome. apparently, the syndrome occurs in both males, females, and anyone in-between !

    sometimes, it is better working with men. women seem to have more mood swings than men? why is that? lol. . . maybe because women think less about sex? --- compared to men? at least, this is the theory from one of my gay friends. but then again, he is a guy. so,what would he know about women? --->> except fashion sense and "sex and the city" episodes, and shoes!
    Last edit by vegas2009 on Jun 11, '10
  11. by   labrador4122
    Quote from coolpeach
    I just graduated and got my first job at the beginning of the year, and boy was I in for a crash course in reality. I saw nurses as good natured, giving, caring, nurturing, loving etc etc. While I have met a FEW nurse that fit that description, mainly its not true. I have seen them be so nice to a fellow co-worker to their face, and then say the meanest things about them on their day off (I mean honestly laughing about them behind their back in a group). They don't seem to get that on their next day off they will be the butt of the joke. I have seen them set each other up just so the person doing the setting up can say "see what she did". Its horrible !!!! Before nursing I worked in business managment, and I have NEVER seen such petty, unprofessional, immature behavior in my adult life. It amazes me that hospitals, and the managment who there allow it. If I were in managment I would fire me some nurses.
    yes! exactly what I mean. These people are so nice infront of you, and then as soon as you go home they stab you in the back!

    whatever happened to 24hr nursing?

    I would fire people like that too. It's about the patients, and try to make the best of the situations that they are in. And to be egging the families on that "oh she didn't do this for you, you should talk to management" about an issue is not a good thing to do.
    It makes me mad because I am not like that at all.
  12. by   labrador4122
    I have a question from everyone,

    how should I approach this to the manager? I have not e-mailed her but when I talk about this I get really emotional and I cry, and I promised myself I would not cry at work.
  13. by   vegas2009
    Just a suggestion:

    Before the day you go to work and plan on discussing this to your manager, on the night before -- maybe you should go in front of a mirror and practice crying. Let it all out and then you'll feel better afterwards. The next day, since you're all cried out --- there won't be any tears left for you to be emotional about. Actually, you might just feel like a cardboard and won't feel anything while you're talking to your manager. Hence, you'll think better with your words. Then, you'll be able to communicate more effectively too.

    But, then of course... you'll have the puffy eyes to deal with, while you talk to your manager.

    Get rid of your emotions, you'll probably think better.
    Last edit by vegas2009 on Jun 11, '10
  14. by   erroridiot
    Quote from labrador4122
    I have a question from everyone,

    how should I approach this to the manager? I have not e-mailed her but when I talk about this I get really emotional and I cry, and I promised myself I would not cry at work.
    Someone needs to go in there and tell the "manager" to send the disturbed, pathetic, borderline staff members to ________________ .

    a. summer camp

    b. a day at the spa

    c. boot camp

    d. Siberia

    If an adverse event occurs involving a patient because of the behavior of the staff, they will put you on the chopping block. Middle management is not a good position to be in when the staff are pathetic and the "management" does not back you up.

    The place sounds toxic and dangerous. Write up every incident and keep it to yourself. When you have safely landed in a new job, turn it all over to the authorities of choice.

    You can get a better job than that!

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