I just need to talk

  1. My dad was dx w/prostate ca ~ 5 years ago. Had radiation, did great. PSA started rising ~ 2 years ago. Tx was Cyrothearpy, Lupron injections & Casodex. Did great again, PSA < 1, bone scan clean. Around Dec. PSA going back up, Lupron & Casodex again....PSA not going down its now 9.6. Urologist sent him to our ca center. This oncologist told him he has bone ca....no test, no bone scan...did not even schedule one until May...and told him when he started to have pain he would have ~ 6mo-2years to live. I am assuming his dx was of course on his hx & PSA levels....BUT I am so mad...no scan until May? No tx....nothing. It is like just go home & wait to die. Is it just me or is this nuts???? How can he be sure it has mets to the bone. I have cried, prayed & tried to think rationally but I just can't.....
    I would like for him to have a second opinion, & a scan now..If it is still to early to be detected maybe there is time to do something. I don't want medical advice.....I guess I just needed to say this to someone.
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   nursemary9
    Hi;
    I have to agree with you.
    How about another opinion; some testing;
    I know his DX was done on history & lab numbers, but we always do more diagnostic stuff with new symptoms.

    I would suggest to you that you suggest to Dad another opinion--even if Insurance or HMO won't pay. If HMO or Insurance won't pay--there are appeals.
    You deserve to know exactly what's going on.

    Our Oncologists stay away from telling people how long they have to live--because no one really knows.
    Plus, when pain starts--there are still things that are done---not curative, but palliative.

    When he begins to have pain, he will need a good Oncologist or Pain Specialist to manage it. He will need someone he trusts for this--pain management is something every cancer pt ( actually every patient) has a RIGHT to.
    Not everyone has good pain management, but it is IMPORTANT!!

    Mary Ann
  4. by   canoehead
    Sometimes if you work at the hospital you can call the radiology dept and ask for an earlier appt, or to be called if there is a cancellation. At our hospital they try to get you in within the week.
  5. by   crb613
    Mary Ann...Thanks. I have asked him to get a second opinion & I think he will. He is a vet so he has that coverage & is financially ok....thank goodness!
    I agree pain mgmt will be so very important. I just don't want him to suffer.
    We just got this news Monday & since that time....Daddy has bought his burial plot, had his living will notarized, & is in process of making funeral arrangements. He did not want us to have to do these things.
    He said "however it turns out its in the Lord's hands, & we will trust his will" I just pray I can have his strength.
  6. by   Tiwi
    Quote from crb613
    Mary Ann...Thanks. I have asked him to get a second opinion & I think he will. He is a vet so he has that coverage & is financially ok....thank goodness!
    I agree pain mgmt will be so very important. I just don't want him to suffer.
    We just got this news Monday & since that time....Daddy has bought his burial plot, had his living will notarized, & is in process of making funeral arrangements. He did not want us to have to do these things.
    He said "however it turns out its in the Lord's hands, & we will trust his will" I just pray I can have his strength.
    I am glad you were able to get him to see someone else. It's terrible your father was that frightened that he went to such lengths...
  7. by   fultzymom
    So sorry to hear what you are going through. I lost my dad back in November to Cancer. This is really hard. I agree with a second opinion. It seems like way to long to put off seeking scans et treatments until May. I can not believe that they are not even offering some kind of treatments options. Even when dad's was terminal they offered Chemo pills. He just declined taking them. (At this time, he only had about 3 months anyways.) He opted for quality of life but if your dad could have up to two years, why wait to find out?
  8. by   TazziRN
    {{{{CRB}}}}

    How old is your dad? Some places give priority to CA pts who are below a certain age, like 70. Pts over that are given later appts.

    Also, is he going to a military hospital or a civilian one? Military hospitals are HMOs and can sometimes be as bad as a civilian one in setting up things.
  9. by   crb613
    Quote from TazziRN
    {{{{CRB}}}}

    How old is your dad? Some places give priority to CA pts who are below a certain age, like 70. Pts over that are given later appts.

    Also, is he going to a military hospital or a civilian one? Military hospitals are HMOs and can sometimes be as bad as a civilian one in setting up things.
    He is 73...went to our local CA center ( not military). Ya know....the thing that has made me so mad is how this doctor handled the whole thing. How about a little compassion for crying out loud!
  10. by   TazziRN
    Some doctors are so burned out they have no more compassion. Some never had any to begin with. So sorry your dad had to experience that.

    CRB, I hate to say this but his age may have been a factor in being put off. It's not unheard of. You can try calling the cancer center and speaking with pt relations and raising a stink, that might work.
  11. by   GingerSue
    keep trying to get the other opinion and get the testing done sooner

    if you don't persist, then nothing will be changed

    you've got to persist
    there will likely be someone who will listen, when you tell them exactly what you want done

    best to you and your father
  12. by   crb613
    Thank you all so much! I just got back from daddy's & he has agreed to a second opinion. I am calling the CA center here in the am...I want some answers as how this dx was made & what info they have. I also talked to CA Centers of America & they gave me some phone #'s & advice. We just want some answers & then we can made an informed decision, as how to proceed. Once again thank you all for your support :angel2: Please keep us in your prayers!

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