I just can't do this anymore...

Nurses General Nursing

Published

You are reading page 3 of I just can't do this anymore...

Runningonfancy

47 Posts

It does seem that you might need to look outside the box for a new job. Plus get a hobby! I'm going to school for the 3rd time now (nursing this time) in an effort to get a job to better support my hobby. No desire to be rich. Just ride my horses and compete :) I can say that a Bachelors degree in Forestry and Masters in Park and Natural Resource Management haven't helped me at all. Five years later and I still couldn't find a job in that field. On one hand you are thankful that you just have a job in this economy. Then you look around and realize you have dreams for so much more. Without happiness you have nothing. You should try and find a happy medium somehow. I don't know how, but there has to be something better than what you are doing now. Plus at least you have a bit of a "resume" to put under your belt.

amygarside

1,026 Posts

I think that it is time to look for other possibilities of work. If you are unhappy then take also the time to assess the reason why you cannot do it anymore. Sometimes it can also be about burnout so make time for yourself as well. Hope you will be able to get through this and find the real thing that will make you feel motivated and happy.

payitforward

107 Posts

Specializes in Med/surg,orthopedics,emergency room,.

I TOTALLY understand how you are feeling!!! I was in that same boat. Draggin myself out of bed in the morning,going to working only to cry in the parking lot because I had to be somewhere I didn't want to be. I have been in the medical career field since I started out at age 14 as a candy striper volunteering at a local hospital. It seemed that I always knew I was going to be in the medical field, and changed my mind often. Then I went into the military, came in as a medic and had a whirl-wind career as an EMT. I got out of the military, and went back to school and got my LPN license, then got my degree in Health Care Management. Now, I am on the brink of retirement from nursing because I am burnt out. I find absolutely no joy in what I do any more, and just go through the motions. I too have a husband that doesn't understand-to a degree. First he tells me I don't HAVE to work, then when I want to retire he says he PREFER I find another position. Make up your mind!!!!!! Well, I am retiring ANYWAY because I have to do what's right for ME. I cannot continue to go to a job that I don't enjoy, and the people are backstabbers, and they don't care about the staff that do the work. The bottom line is that you really have to do what is best for you. Try going back to school and finish what you started! There are so many areas in nursing that you are bound to find your niche! It's just finding it. Even though I can't stand where I'm working now, the only regret I have is leaving the doctor and the patients that I work with. She has been my saving grace and has kept me sane. But again, it's finding YOUR niche! You gotta have the heart to be a nurse. It isn't an easy profession, but when you find what you're good at it can be very rewarding. I love it when my patients come in and call me by name, or when I'm not here my doc tells me that they ask for me. Be blessed, and I hope everything works out for you!

CrunchRN, ADN, RN

4,530 Posts

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

The reality is you have to pay your mortgage and bills one way or the other. Try finding a different position that may be much better. If that does not pan out do what you have to and learn to live on less money. If your husband cannot support that then you will have a big choice to make. It is not worth being miserable the rest of your life. However, there are many other nursing jobs that could be much more tolerable.

Marshall1

991 Posts

It's YOUR life..not your husbands..not your families..not his families..YOU are the one who is miserable, YOU are the one who is NOT living true to yourself..I'm NOT saying be selfish..but what IS selfish is a spouse or family member or friend who would rather someone they profess to love to be miserable/depressed/unhappy because a change may effect them (i.e. they may have to get a job, not spend so much money or whatever). YOU have ONE life and life is short..the nursing profession (and some in it) would have people believe that no other job can pay as much, offer as much, etc but the truth is, there ARE other jobs out there that can pay enough for people to live on and there are jobs out there that a person is more suited to than others.

From my other posts you will see I have been an RN for over 20 yrs and I will not return to a hospital setting on a FT basis - for a lot of the reasons you mentioned as far as it making you anxious/depressed etc. Some people would think I was crazy given the wages in some facilities but the fact is I need money to live I don't live to make money. My spouse left (retired from) a place after 22 yrs..it changed a lot and he tried to hang in there...long story short..he now works (and has for 4 yrs) at another place he LOVES but the money is 1/2 of what he was making before - and that wasn't much. He is happier, our lives are better because there isn't all this tension etc. We do ok financially and I guess my point is, NO job, NO person is worth your overall health. If you are able to find something non nursing and better suited for you - go for it. You do NOT need anyone's permission and honestly, if all you get is grief about it when talking to your spouse or family, then don't talk to them - just keep applying, interviewing and when you get the new job tell them then - I feel certain they will all adjust - and if they don't - that's up to them. Take care of yourself! Good luck!!

grpman

172 Posts

I know nothing about your husband other than what you wrote, but if your biggest problem is him being a hypocrite and desiring a return on an education investment...then all men are a-holes, jerks, expletive, expletive.

Anything else I write would just seem trivial without more facts concerning your situation. However, hope is a powerful force and I hope you find it.

grpman

172 Posts

Do you have the resources to leave him? (Your Husband.) For a day? A week? Perhaps forever. Do you have the resources to leave him? (The Doctor) For a day? A week? Perhaps forever. You have to dig deep to rid yourself of your situation. You, and only you, will find a way.

Respectfully, I think I'd like more info before giving this advice.

joanna73, BSN, RN

4,767 Posts

Specializes in geriatrics.

You are not alone, and there is no shame in admitting this. I have said it in previous threads....nursing in and of itself is not so much the issue. Rather, it is the current system (unrealistic workload, chronic under staffing) which leaves many nurses feeling exhausted and dissatisfied. I feel the same, in that I plan to reduce my hours within the next year, and return to school. Bedside nursing can suck the life out of anyone. Find something that makes you happy. Life is short.

KSU-SN

70 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg.

No wonder the divorce rate is so high! None of us know this couple or know anything other than her husband is upset with her...but HEY JUST LEAVE HIM, DIVORCE HIS AS*. Thats incredibly stupid advice and is part of what is wrong with this world. Instead of everyone working on their problems and seeing if they can compromise on a solution, lets just get a divorce and break up a family and break our wedding vows.

To the OP....think long and hard about what you want, talk with your husband and see if you can't both agree on something. CONVINCE him about how miserable you are and ask him to talk with you about a solution that you can both agree on.

gcupid

512 Posts

He is going to resent you if you leave the profession and you are going to resent him if you stay. My advice is to finish your degree (only 1 semester left, not 2 but 1) get your license and then leave your husband if you are not happy in all areas of your life. Some people sacrifice their professional life just so that they could come home to the one they love and vice versa. The best scenario is finding a mate that will support your life decisions and still be there even when things don't work out as you've planned but you owe it to yourself & your child to complete the schooling Bc at least you may gain better security. Do it for yourself and your child not for your husband.

multi10

180 Posts

grpman: So true.

I only know that I left my husband after it became crystal clear (once the ink was dry on the marriage license) that, in his mind, I was a meal ticket. He quit a lucrative job to hang out a shingle. 6 months after our wedding, he quit, in a fit of pique, without consulting me. His plan was that I would work overtime to help finance his fledgling business.

Fortunately, I loved my job. I worked overtime (time-and-a-half, sometimes double-time). I was learning so much in the MICU/CCU/SICU, it was amazing. I loved being there. OP doesn't love going to work.

The deal-breaker for me was that, when I developed bronchitis that turned into pneumonia, the man didn't bring home the groceries. Literally. My parents visited because I was bed-ridden. My mom said, "There's no food in this house! He can't take care of you." My dad just shook his head. He was disappointed in my husband.

Husband was lame. He had been coddled and thought of no-one but himself and his goals.

When I got healthy, I fled the marriage. I drove cross-country to get away from him and the family repurcussions that attach to that nasty word: Divorce.

Things work out for the best, though. He re-married and, as far as I know, is happy. I can't complain about my lot in life either.

sweetiepeas

93 Posts

I'm sorry that you are feeling that way. Is there another carer that you could put your education towards and get a different degree? What is it about the job specifically that you don't like? Think about what does interest you and see how your current education can cross over. Good luck. It would be nice if your spouse was more supportive but you'll need to make a change to make yourself happy because you'll be miserable and alone eventually if you continue like this.

+ Add a Comment