How would you have handled this????

[duckie]

I had something happen to me today that has never happened to me in my 21 years of nursing and I pray that even though I was very angry inside that I handled it right. Please note right up front this is not meant to start a war here or another LPN vs. RN debate. Actually I feel many of you RN's will be a little ticked off too. For those of you that don't know me, I work LTC, by my choice, did hospital and it wasn't what made me happy. I have been a charge nurse for 11 years so far. I have this very dear and wonderful couple on my unit. I love them dearly and we have wonderful talks and are very close. Their daughter came to visit them today and the following happened. When I entered the room to give them their meds, the male resident introduced me to his family as the charge nurse. He also told me that his daughter was a nurse. With no further converstaion, she informed me that she felt no one below a BSN should be allowed to be a nurse for they just weren't qualified nor did they have the knowledge needed to properly care for a resident. I assume since I was introduced as the charge nurse, she thought I was an RN. Then she asked what my level of degee was??? I told her I was an LPN. She said, "Well that just isn't right!" To say I was taken aback is an understatement. Inside I started getting very angry. That is a hell of a statement to make. Not all RN's hold a BSN, they are very much worth something but after she found out I was ONLY an LPN, she did her best to try and get me to mouth off to her. I told her the following statement. I said, "In this facility, my duties are the same as the RN's. All of our current house supervisors are LPN's and the only RN in authority is our DON, which we all answer to equally, RN and LPN's alike. I am considered the charge nurse on this unit, even when an RN is working the other end. I do what is in my job description and I have never had a complaint lodged against me. I stated that I fully agreed that if I were working in a hospital, I would not hold the title I hold here, but this is my chosen field and I enjoy what I do. I am sorry if you do not feel I am qualified to do this job and I would be more than happy to call my DON for you to speak with if it would make you feel better." She then asked, "Well why don't you get your RN degree?" I answered frankly, "Because I plan to work here for some time to come, I am happy with what I do and I have no desire to do so." She really seemed to be trying to start an out and out arguement with me. I smiked at her, said it was nice meeting you, told my residents I'd be back later and to have a nice visit. Then I went into the bathroom and seethed almost to the point of crying, which is what I do when I get mad, but then I said....NOPE!!!!! ain't gonna do it and went on with my job. I have to be honest and tell you there was a million things I wanted to say to her, specifically that if her parents coded, their life would be in MY hands, and that we didn't even have an RN on our shift with her BSN but I tried very hard to smile, keep my mouth shut and just get out of there. Anyhow, later, I went back to their room to give them more meds. The male resident took my hands, with tears in his eyes and said, "Honey, I'd give anything if my daughter hadn't spoken to you like that. You are a wonderful nurse and I feel very blessed that my life is in your hands because I see the kind of nurse you are and I trust you completely." I told him not to worry about it, that she is very much entitled to her opinion and told him he would always be my buddy, nothing would change that." (We call each other Buddy) I have been posting here for quite some time and I have to say that while a few RN's may hve problems with LPN's in certain settings, none of you have ever spoken like this and I just want to know, how would you have handled it? I honestly don't know if I did the right thing or not. She did not shake my confidence in my ability, if that was her goal, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why a complete stranger would light into me like that, for no reason. Maybe if there had been some sort of converstaion leading up to it but I swear to you, all that was said between us was what I have told you. I am still floored by this and I am honest when I say, she made me angry, which is pretty darned hard to do. I would really appreciate some feedback on this to help me get a grip on my emotions.

[thisnurse]

you handled that so much better than i would have.

some people are just azzes, regardless of title.

interesting to note how much smarter the family members are than the caretakers. we have some family members that are so much smarter than even the doctors.

if this "nurse" had half a brain she wouldnt have antagonized the person who is caring for her parents. shes probably the same kind of person who insults the staff at a restaraunt...without ever considering THEY ARE HANDLING HER FOOD...lol

i wish our facility had LPN's.

[susanmary]

You acted in a professional manner. Sounds like the daughter has insecurity issues -- trying to build herself up by attempting to bring you down. You are in charge because your employer believes you are competent to do so. You are practicing within your scope. You are there for your residents and their well-being. You behaved beautifully. She did not.

[4XNURSE]

Dear Duckie,

or should I say "Dear Saint Duckie" ?

I would have lost more than my cool. I try to accept people for who or what they are. With that individual the "what" is obvious.

I'd like to buy you a cold one, but Indiana is a long walk.

Hope all your days are better than that one was. Thanks for being the kind of nurse I like to look up to!

ken

[Teshiee]

I have to agree with all the nurses here. You handled that trifling ignorant woman with the greatest professionalism I have heard. I am not going to lie! I would have been spewing. For her to degrade you like that was so unreal. How could she even go there. She should be grateful that there are nurses like you who care and take pride in what you do. I always say whatever you do be good at it. My heart goes out to you. I am sorry she acted like an a**.

Sometimes you have to let things roll. It was nice to know the residents noticed she was being a bytch. Don't let her stupidity ruin what fine character you are.

[VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN]

My greetings to you, Duckie!!! :) :) Really admire your strength of character and self-control. Don't know if I could have passed this "test" with the same grace. Although, I am not in your circumstance (LPN put down by BSN nurse), it is an unfortunate fact that we all encounter rude, arrogant, overbearing people who seem to derive warped satisfaction/ego boosts in putting down others. Most people are civil, kind, friendly. So, fortunately, these sorts of instances don't seem to occur very often. When they do occur, it is important not to react but to respond. We are not responsible for other people's actions, but we can control our responses. By our response, we can show who is the "better person." Educational achievement is one thing, highly overvalued in our society; emotional IQ is much more important--if you don't have kindness, empathy, tact, diplomacy and good people skills--your PhD ain't worth much and you won't get very far in life!!! (Know I'm rambling....). I like this quote by Francis Frangipane:

"People define success in many ways -- range of influence, souls saved, churches started, etc. However, to me the definition of a successful life is measured in how truly transformed we are to Christ's likeness. When persecuted, do we pray? When attacked, do we turn the other cheek? When threatened by the impossible, do we trust God? When crucified, do we forgive?

You see, the issue is not how many people are attending church, but how many are becoming Christlike. The evidence of true revival is.... how Christlike we are on Monday morning

when we're in the world."

[judy ann]

Dear Duckie--Wonder what that BSN would think about my diploma! (Yeh, there are still some of us around.) My dear, you are very special. I would have done all of the above, especially cry and loose my cool. I would like to share an incident from long ago. The fact that I am involved is only incidental. It is the moral of the story that counts.

Margaret was a housekeeper in the nursery. She had come from Ireland, and had a 6th grade education. She came to me in L&D one day, crying, and told me that the head nurse in the nursery had said that she was stupid, that she was only a dumb Irish scrubwoman, and didn't deserve the across the board raise the hospital had announced. I consoled her and found out that she was treated that way often by this nurse. God touched my tongue and I said "Margaret, just because I had the opportunity to have more education than you doesn't make me a bit better or any smarter than you." I have often thought about this, and I realize that this basis is good for a lot of things. Your situation is one of them. When Florence (Nightengale) and I graduated from nursing school, the first BSN students were coming out. No one wanted to work with them. They had little hands on practice. We had one apply that had never catheterized a patient, another that had only "given an IM" to an orange. I know that the BSN programs have improved, but that is where they started. Think about that!

So far as this "wonderful nurse" ignoring you when she came in next--she was ashamed. She couldn't face you so, to her, you weren't there. Real professional--real grown up. Both of you would have felt empowered by an "I'm sorry, It was a bad day"

Anyway, I'm proud to have a little input into this. Hope it helps.

And keep up the really excellent work, and excellent representation of the nursing profession.:kiss

[mattsmom81]

We had an ulcer patient whose daughter was a bitter, angry, manipulative RN who came to visit every day and tore into all the nurses, goading them and trying to make them 'snap'. She was in the administrator's office every day complaining and made trouble for every nurse who cared for her Mom.. She told all staff they were doing the treatments wrong, tore off the dressings, and insulted everybody. I knew this nurse and she had a very bad, dysfunctional relationship with her mother and her ambivalent fury and guilt was projected at all other caregivers than herself...

These kinds of people can make our workplace a living heck but its even worse when they're nurses

Keep on 'being the bigger person'. If she continues to get after you, offer to switch with the other LPN for her folks as she seems to have a problem with you. Your patients will promptly object and that should shut her up fast! LOL! Oh, and PS document this lady's behavior and factual statements word for word for your DON in case anything comes of this....CYA.

[lv2ski]

Duckie, you showed a professional quality with how you handled that situation that doesn't need any special letters on your tag! BRAVO to you. Experience is really what matters so much in dealing with patients and their families. Titles may help with advancement and certifications, and for me it was just a goal to get my BSN eventually, especially where I work in a hospital. But truly it just depends on everyones personal, and work situation.

Keep up the good and honorable work!

[Daytonanurse]

Wow Duckie.....you handled that with such grace :) I would have dragged her outside and shown her how an LPN beats an RN/BSN:devil: LOL....just kidding. You are wise beyond your years, and "Buddy" realizes that too. Please keep doing what makes you happy and ignore the narrow mindedness you encounter. Peace,

Susan

[CheryBery]

Dear Duckie,

I don't blame you for feeling the way you did. Sometimes I will never understand how a compassionate profession can be so cruel to our fellow nurses. You handled it well and let me say...the most important thing is your resident knows how important you are and appreciates all that you do for him, as I'm sure the other residents and familes do as well.......Thank you for sharing your experience Duckie............HUGS!

[RNFROG3, BSN, RN]

WAY TO GO DUCKIE!!! MANY CUDOS FOR HANDLING THAT SITUATION SO WELL.

I AM A BSN RN AND I REGRET TO SAY THAT CONDECENDING ATTITUDE IS KINDA TAUGHT IN THE BSN SCHOOL. IT'S A SUBTLE FORM OF BRAINWASHING THAT SOME ARE MORE SUSCEPTIBLE THAN OTHERS.

I'VE WORKED WITH LPNS WHO WERE FAR BETTER AT THEIR JOBS THAN THEIR RN COUNTERPARTS.

AND I'VE WORKED WITH LPNS THAT HAVE RECIEVED THEIR RN AND REALLY WEREN'T AS GOOD OR AS HAPPY ONCE THEY COMPLETED SCHOOL. THERE IS A NICHE FOR EVERYONE AND ESPECIALLY WITH THE NUSING SHORTAGE VERYONE IS NEEDED. THANK YOU FOR BEING AN OUTSTANDING REPRESENTATION OF WHAT A NURSE IS SUPPOSED TO BE...REGARDLESS OF WHAT INTIALS COME AFTER OUR NAMES.

[Kathi Dutton]

Dear Duckie,

As a new LPN, the experienced LPNs taught me. As a new RN, the experienced LPNs taught me. I owe much to these co-workers. They were always willing to help me out or to answer a silly question I had. They also gave me my "sick" nursing sense of humor.

As for the RN BSN, I hate it when the first thing a visitor relays to me is "I'm a nurse". I would like to say sometimes "Well, if you are a nurse how in the world did your loved one get in this condition?".

When I have a family member in the hospital, I make it a point not to let them know I'm a nurse.