How would you have handled this???? - page 4

I had something happen to me today that has never happened to me in my 21 years of nursing and I pray that even though I was very angry inside that I handled it right. Please note right up front... Read More

  1. by   Teshiee
    I have to agree with all the nurses here. You handled that trifling ignorant woman with the greatest professionalism I have heard. I am not going to lie! I would have been spewing. For her to degrade you like that was so unreal. How could she even go there. She should be grateful that there are nurses like you who care and take pride in what you do. I always say whatever you do be good at it. My heart goes out to you. I am sorry she acted like an a**.

    Sometimes you have to let things roll. It was nice to know the residents noticed she was being a bytch. Don't let her stupidity ruin what fine character you are.
  2. by   VickyRN
    My greetings to you, Duckie!!! Really admire your strength of character and self-control. Don't know if I could have passed this "test" with the same grace. Although, I am not in your circumstance (LPN put down by BSN nurse), it is an unfortunate fact that we all encounter rude, arrogant, overbearing people who seem to derive warped satisfaction/ego boosts in putting down others. Most people are civil, kind, friendly. So, fortunately, these sorts of instances don't seem to occur very often. When they do occur, it is important not to react but to respond. We are not responsible for other people's actions, but we can control our responses. By our response, we can show who is the "better person." Educational achievement is one thing, highly overvalued in our society; emotional IQ is much more important--if you don't have kindness, empathy, tact, diplomacy and good people skills--your PhD ain't worth much and you won't get very far in life!!! (Know I'm rambling....). I like this quote by Francis Frangipane:
    "People define success in many ways -- range of influence, souls saved, churches started, etc. However, to me the definition of a successful life is measured in how truly transformed we are to Christ's likeness. When persecuted, do we pray? When attacked, do we turn the other cheek? When threatened by the impossible, do we trust God? When crucified, do we forgive?

    You see, the issue is not how many people are attending church, but how many are becoming Christlike. The evidence of true revival is.... how Christlike we are on Monday morning
    when we're in the world."
  3. by   judy ann
    Dear Duckie--Wonder what that BSN would think about my diploma! (Yeh, there are still some of us around.) My dear, you are very special. I would have done all of the above, especially cry and loose my cool. I would like to share an incident from long ago. The fact that I am involved is only incidental. It is the moral of the story that counts.
    Margaret was a housekeeper in the nursery. She had come from Ireland, and had a 6th grade education. She came to me in L&D one day, crying, and told me that the head nurse in the nursery had said that she was stupid, that she was only a dumb Irish scrubwoman, and didn't deserve the across the board raise the hospital had announced. I consoled her and found out that she was treated that way often by this nurse. God touched my tongue and I said "Margaret, just because I had the opportunity to have more education than you doesn't make me a bit better or any smarter than you." I have often thought about this, and I realize that this basis is good for a lot of things. Your situation is one of them. When Florence (Nightengale) and I graduated from nursing school, the first BSN students were coming out. No one wanted to work with them. They had little hands on practice. We had one apply that had never catheterized a patient, another that had only "given an IM" to an orange. I know that the BSN programs have improved, but that is where they started. Think about that!
    So far as this "wonderful nurse" ignoring you when she came in next--she was ashamed. She couldn't face you so, to her, you weren't there. Real professional--real grown up. Both of you would have felt empowered by an "I'm sorry, It was a bad day"
    Anyway, I'm proud to have a little input into this. Hope it helps.
    And keep up the really excellent work, and excellent representation of the nursing profession.:kiss
    Last edit by judy ann on Mar 16, '02
  4. by   mattsmom81
    We had an ulcer patient whose daughter was a bitter, angry, manipulative RN who came to visit every day and tore into all the nurses, goading them and trying to make them 'snap'. She was in the administrator's office every day complaining and made trouble for every nurse who cared for her Mom.. She told all staff they were doing the treatments wrong, tore off the dressings, and insulted everybody. I knew this nurse and she had a very bad, dysfunctional relationship with her mother and her ambivalent fury and guilt was projected at all other caregivers than herself...

    These kinds of people can make our workplace a living heck but its even worse when they're nurses <sigh>

    Keep on 'being the bigger person'. If she continues to get after you, offer to switch with the other LPN for her folks as she seems to have a problem with you. Your patients will promptly object and that should shut her up fast! LOL! Oh, and PS document this lady's behavior and factual statements word for word for your DON in case anything comes of this....CYA.
  5. by   lv2ski
    Duckie, you showed a professional quality with how you handled that situation that doesn't need any special letters on your tag! BRAVO to you. Experience is really what matters so much in dealing with patients and their families. Titles may help with advancement and certifications, and for me it was just a goal to get my BSN eventually, especially where I work in a hospital. But truly it just depends on everyones personal, and work situation.
    Keep up the good and honorable work!
  6. by   Daytonanurse
    Wow Duckie.....you handled that with such grace I would have dragged her outside and shown her how an LPN beats an RN/BSN LOL....just kidding. You are wise beyond your years, and "Buddy" realizes that too. Please keep doing what makes you happy and ignore the narrow mindedness you encounter. Peace,
    Susan
  7. by   CheryBery
    Dear Duckie,
    I don't blame you for feeling the way you did. Sometimes I will never understand how a compassionate profession can be so cruel to our fellow nurses. You handled it well and let me say...the most important thing is your resident knows how important you are and appreciates all that you do for him, as I'm sure the other residents and familes do as well.......Thank you for sharing your experience Duckie............HUGS!
  8. by   RNFROG3
    WAY TO GO DUCKIE!!! MANY CUDOS FOR HANDLING THAT SITUATION SO WELL.
    I AM A BSN RN AND I REGRET TO SAY THAT CONDECENDING ATTITUDE IS KINDA TAUGHT IN THE BSN SCHOOL. IT'S A SUBTLE FORM OF BRAINWASHING THAT SOME ARE MORE SUSCEPTIBLE THAN OTHERS.
    I'VE WORKED WITH LPNS WHO WERE FAR BETTER AT THEIR JOBS THAN THEIR RN COUNTERPARTS.
    AND I'VE WORKED WITH LPNS THAT HAVE RECIEVED THEIR RN AND REALLY WEREN'T AS GOOD OR AS HAPPY ONCE THEY COMPLETED SCHOOL. THERE IS A NICHE FOR EVERYONE AND ESPECIALLY WITH THE NUSING SHORTAGE VERYONE IS NEEDED. THANK YOU FOR BEING AN OUTSTANDING REPRESENTATION OF WHAT A NURSE IS SUPPOSED TO BE...REGARDLESS OF WHAT INTIALS COME AFTER OUR NAMES.
  9. by   Kathi Dutton
    Dear Duckie,

    As a new LPN, the experienced LPNs taught me. As a new RN, the experienced LPNs taught me. I owe much to these co-workers. They were always willing to help me out or to answer a silly question I had. They also gave me my "sick" nursing sense of humor.
    As for the RN BSN, I hate it when the first thing a visitor relays to me is "I'm a nurse". I would like to say sometimes "Well, if you are a nurse how in the world did your loved one get in this condition?".
    When I have a family member in the hospital, I make it a point not to let them know I'm a nurse.
  10. by   Catie
    Duckie,
  11. by   Catie
    Duckei,

    I hit the submit reply button too soon oh well, I'm an LPN and I just want to tell you what one of my nursing instructors told our class. whether you have your masters, bachlors, Rn, a nurse ,is a nurse, is a nurse, is a nurse. You responded very well to her, I don't know what I would of said but it probably wouldn't of been good. Sometimes aren't family members the bes?!!!
  12. by   duckie
    I'd like to report the latest encounter with this nurse to you all. I feel very good about the way it went. When Mom and Dad moved into our facility, she took custody of their little dog for them. I am an animal lover and have never met a critter that I didn't like. One day I went in to give my residents their pills and she was there with the little dog. I noticed she( the dog) was panting, so I went out and found a little bowl and brought her some water. Miss BSN actually smiled at me and said that was a very caring thing to do. My "Buddy" spoke up and said that everything I did was very caring and the look in her eyes actually softened towards me. Maybe she was testing me, I don't know but with the help of that sweet little dog, just maybe the ice is broken and she will have more faith in me and my abilities to care for her parents. I hope so. I don't like hard feelings and I spent much time praying for this to resolve itself. I think God used that little critter to show her a side of me she could relate to somehow. They say God works is mysterious ways!!!! But even if she never really likes me, I'm there for my residents and I will give them the very best I can. You have all been so great, I cannot tell you how much your posts have helped me through this. It probably shows that I'm a real softie and I tend to get my feelings hurt easily. When I do, I usually retreat inside myself but my love for animals brought out that side of me and maybe that's what she needed to see to give me a break. Only time will tell.
  13. by   shavsha
    Duckie,
    You have a tender and loving heart. You had it long before you went to nursing school and you will have it long after you retire from what you love and do so well. Such qualities are God-given and cannot be "bought" by any amount of higher education. When a cup of liquid is jostled it will splash whatever is inside. When you were attacked by this fellow nurse what came out of you was GRACIOUSNESS. Dry your tears...and thank the Lord that you do not carry within you the bitterness and hatred that "splashed" out of her. ((((((A BIG HUG and a PAT ON THE BACK)))))

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