How would you have handled this???? - page 2

I had something happen to me today that has never happened to me in my 21 years of nursing and I pray that even though I was very angry inside that I handled it right. Please note right up front... Read More

  1. by   colleen10
    Wow! Duckie,

    You should be proud. Hopefully I'll be heading off to nursing school soon - don't know if it's ASN or LPN but either way you are someone that I would aspire to be like. I think you handled the situation the best way possible. She was obviously looking to pick a fight and you handled the situation with dignity and grace as stated above. You would have accomplished nothing had you gotten snotty or nasty with her and probably would have proved her point had you done so. It's obvious that's her opinion and she's sticking with it and to try to discuss the matter further would have been mute. By doing what you did I think in a way you proved her wrong and showed your residents that you truly are the kind and caring person they know you are, no matter what the situation.

    Just accept the fact that some people are just mean and rude and you will encounter them throughout your lifetime. There is very little you can do to change them so I always just stay out of their way.

    Also, my opinion is that how could anyone possibly say that an LPN who has worked a particular area for say the last 10 years doesn't know as much as a fresh RN student right out of school.

    But that's just my 2 cents.

    P.S. I'm like you in that when I get mad I don't yell and scream I usually just go someplace bymyself and have a good cry. It may not look like I stand up for myself but it keeps me from being hot headed and getting into trouble.

    Take care - Colleen
  2. by   hpyrn
    I am so sick of RN's that think they are above everyone else. I am so sick of LPN's who think they are so above the CNA's. Geez let all do our freakin jobs and go home with everyone in our care still breathing.... On behalf of all RN's with half a brain I apologize. You handled that professionally and a hundred times better then I would have!!!Yea you....
  3. by   CEN35
    hyp and coll.......almost everybody gets sick of it.
    unfortunately, there are those that think they are above the rest of the world, regardless of their "title." (rn, lpn, cna, doctor, lawyer, politician etc. etc.)
    bottom line? if everybody were nice, and easy to get along with, this world would be way too easy!!! :d
    i think some people just like to see how long they can make some people hurdle, before they miss and fall.

    me
  4. by   duckie
    You are all so wonderful, thank you for your support and encouragement. I have to admit, I weenied out last night after my post and had a good cry, then I sat down and hubby hugged me and my critters slobbered all over Mommy cause she was sad, then I pulled myself together. I feel better after a good nights sleep and reading your posts. Some of your posts even made me laugh, which we all know, laughter is the best medicine. Since I now know what this lady is made of, I'm prepared for her and I WON'T let her get to me again. I'll smile so big, my butt checks will crack and that will tick her off worse than anything. Oh, before I forget, I said something last night in my post that wasn't true and I want to set the record straight. We do have one BSN that works our shift, BUT she is currently in the Holy Lands for a 2 week trip. Could be a pretty long wait for her to arrive if I need her. I keep trying to figure out why this woman said all these things to me, maybe she was testing me somehow. I did notice that after I left the room and closed the door, it wasn't 5 minutes before she left. I really think her Dad said something to her. She wouldn't even look at me when they left but her husband smiled at me. Maybe you are all right, she's just a nasty person, that's her problem. I'll head off to work in a little bit and do my job the very best I can. Hugs to you all for your kindness and I hope I can be there for all of you if you need me like you were for me. God Bless! You all have a great day!
  5. by   colleen10
    I did notice that after I left the room and closed the door, it wasn't 5 minutes before she left. I really think her Dad said something to her. She wouldn't even look at me when they left but her husband smiled at me. Maybe you are all right, she's just a nasty person, that's her problem.

    Duckie,

    I've noticed that people who act as she did usually make bigger
    a--es of themselves than the person they are trying to beat down. I guess it's a school bully mentality. Try to make yourself feel better and more important by picking on others. Seems her true motivations were very transparent to her father and husband and you.

    You can take care of me or my family any time! She obviously has not had the pleasure of working alongside someone such as yourself.

  6. by   live4today
    originally posted by cen35
    hyp and coll.......almost everybody gets sick of it.
    unfortunately, there are those that think they are above the rest of the world, regardless of their "title." (rn, lpn, cna, doctor, lawyer, politician etc. etc.)
    bottom line? if everybody were nice, and easy to get along with, this world would be way too easy!!! :d
    i think some people just like to see how long they can make some people hurdle, before they miss and fall.

    me

    amen! amen! amen! so well put, cen35!
  7. by   live4today
    Originally posted by Duckie
    I had something happen to me today that has never happened to me in my 21 years of nursing and I pray that even though I was very angry inside that I handled it right. Please note right up front this is not meant to start a war here or another LPN vs. RN debate. Actually I feel many of you RN's will be a little ticked off too. For those of you that don't know me, I work LTC, by my choice, did hospital and it wasn't what made me happy. I have been a charge nurse for 11 years so far. I have this very dear and wonderful couple on my unit. I love them dearly and we have wonderful talks and are very close. Their daughter came to visit them today and the following happened. When I entered the room to give them their meds, the male resident introduced me to his family as the charge nurse. He also told me that his daughter was a nurse. With no further converstaion, she informed me that she felt no one below a BSN should be allowed to be a nurse for they just weren't qualified nor did they have the knowledge needed to properly care for a resident. I assume since I was introduced as the charge nurse, she thought I was an RN. Then she asked what my level of degee was??? I told her I was an LPN. She said, "Well that just isn't right!" To say I was taken aback is an understatement. Inside I started getting very angry. That is a hell of a statement to make. Not all RN's hold a BSN, they are very much worth something but after she found out I was ONLY an LPN, she did her best to try and get me to mouth off to her. I told her the following statement. I said, "In this facility, my duties are the same as the RN's. All of our current house supervisors are LPN's and the only RN in authority is our DON, which we all answer to equally, RN and LPN's alike. I am considered the charge nurse on this unit, even when an RN is working the other end. I do what is in my job description and I have never had a complaint lodged against me. I stated that I fully agreed that if I were working in a hospital, I would not hold the title I hold here, but this is my chosen field and I enjoy what I do. I am sorry if you do not feel I am qualified to do this job and I would be more than happy to call my DON for you to speak with if it would make you feel better." She then asked, "Well why don't you get your RN degree?" I answered frankly, "Because I plan to work here for some time to come, I am happy with what I do and I have no desire to do so." She really seemed to be trying to start an out and out arguement with me. I smiked at her, said it was nice meeting you, told my residents I'd be back later and to have a nice visit. Then I went into the bathroom and seethed almost to the point of crying, which is what I do when I get mad, but then I said....NOPE!!!!! ain't gonna do it and went on with my job. I have to be honest and tell you there was a million things I wanted to say to her, specifically that if her parents coded, their life would be in MY hands, and that we didn't even have an RN on our shift with her BSN but I tried very hard to smile, keep my mouth shut and just get out of there. Anyhow, later, I went back to their room to give them more meds. The male resident took my hands, with tears in his eyes and said, "Honey, I'd give anything if my daughter hadn't spoken to you like that. You are a wonderful nurse and I feel very blessed that my life is in your hands because I see the kind of nurse you are and I trust you completely." I told him not to worry about it, that she is very much entitled to her opinion and told him he would always be my buddy, nothing would change that." (We call each other Buddy) I have been posting here for quite some time and I have to say that while a few RN's may hve problems with LPN's in certain settings, none of you have ever spoken like this and I just want to know, how would you have handled it? I honestly don't know if I did the right thing or not. She did not shake my confidence in my ability, if that was her goal, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why a complete stranger would light into me like that, for no reason. Maybe if there had been some sort of converstaion leading up to it but I swear to you, all that was said between us was what I have told you. I am still floored by this and I am honest when I say, she made me angry, which is pretty darned hard to do. I would really appreciate some feedback on this to help me get a grip on my emotions.
    Hi Duckie!

    I am so sorry that happened to you. In reading your above post comments, IMHO, you responded very professionally to your patient's daughter's comments. You come across as a much better personality than her, and there is nothing for you to feel bad about. I applaud you for being able to maintain a professional front with her, and for the words you used when answering her questions. It's all those years of experience you have that enabled you to respond so professionally and so eloquently.

    "I've learned that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person."-- Andy Rooney
    :kiss
  8. by   Cascadians
    Perhaps the Snot is feeling guilty that she is not taking care of her parents and therefore is trying to make herself look 'better' in front of them?

    Sure backfired
  9. by   LTC-LPN
    ...Your *KINDNESS* towards this woman *SHINES*. Be very proud of yourself for your response. You did not "take the bait", so to speak. YOU ARE THE PROFESSIONAL!!!!!! I think you handled it very well. I work LTC myself and have been asked the same question, but I know in my heart that I am doing what I want and the folks that MATTER are my residents.

    Hope that you have a better day today. I think you are a great nurse and that is based on your postings and what appears to be your wonderful LOVING, CARING nature.

    Jane Ann
  10. by   night owl
    you handled yourself well sherry my hat is off to you and god bless you for not getting arrogant with her. i'm just wondering though if the daughter is feeling alittle guilty to say the least about her parents being in this facility instead of being at home with her where she could take care of them both. the give away---due to the fact that in her eyes no one less than a bsn (which is herself) is qualified or knowledgable enough to properly care for a resident (her parents). from what i gather, you just met her when she hurled her little speech at you. she'll be feeling you out for awhile until she's accepted the fact that her parents are in a ltc facility. she might also be feeling dissapointed with herself as a daughter and less than a nurse because she chose not care for them at home. she needs time to build up her trust with you and your staff. give her that time and maybe when she sees how caring you are she may warm up to you and maybe even apologize. then again some people never shake the guilt that overcomes them when they have to place their loved one in a nursing home. of course i could be entirely wrong and she could be just a "bit(h!", but i like to give a person the benefit of the doubt first...just mho.
  11. by   TracyB,RN
    Duckie, YOU ROCK I am so proud that you were able to maintain. . . I also cry when I am angry & don't think I would have been able to hold it back. Another poster mentioned Ms.Snooty Tooty feeling guilty about her not being the one caring for her parents. Maybe that is it, or maybe she is just one of those mean people that suck. I would be thankful having a nurse like you caring for my loved ones. And please, NEVER think of yourself as "only an LPN" LPN's contribute SOOOO much to nursing & don't ever feel like you have to justify your choices to anyone. You are good at what you do & we will leave it at that
    I love it that your "Buddy" had kind things to say to you after Ms.Snooty Tooty left. Maybe he is thankful that his daughter ISN"T taking care of him. I'm sure if she treats strangers like that, she probably isn't too nice to Mom & Dad either.
  12. by   shay
    Duckie, you handled yourself beautifully. That woman was just a total b****. She obviously has issues of her own...geez.

    I don't know if I could've handled myself like that. I probably would've started shaking w/anger and politely excused myself.

    Goofball, your MIL is jealous of you...that's SOOOOOOOO obvious. Just keep ignoring her and don't let her get you down.

    Duckie, this RN BSN does not share that woman's opinion at all, and is embarassed by her behavior. We are all nurses, we all care for our patients, and should be judged by our ability to give safe loving care, not by the degree we hold. You should be proud of yourself by how well you handled such an awkward and toxic situation. And you should be even more proud that the opinions of those that really count--your 'buddy' and his wife'--are in high praise of you and your care.

    Rock on, sister.
  13. by   live4today
    Originally posted by TracyB,RN
    Duckie, ...And please, NEVER think of yourself as "only an LPN" LPN's contribute SOOOO much to nursing & don't ever feel like you have to justify your choices to anyone. You are good at what you do & we will leave it at that .
    _________________________________________

    Ditto, TracyB,RN! LPNs do "rock" and should not feel like they have to justify their choice to be a LPN to anyone. They are good at what they do, and no one can or should disagree with that - IMHO!

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