How do you "leave it at work?" - page 3

by caughtbuckinoff 3,650 Views | 24 Comments

Hello everyone, I'm currently a nursing student and am seriously reconsidering my choice to be a nurse because I just can't seem to "leave it at work", as they say. Well, leave it at clinicals is more like it. Every time that... Read More


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    Quote from joanna73
    It's 24 hour care and we cannot solve the world's problems, no matter how much we might want to.

    I reflect on my day and leave the rest at work. I can't do anything from home. Exercise and a healthy diet keeps me centred. Sometimes I will discuss situations with other nurse friends to de-stress, and this helps too.
    I have similar issues in my personal life - I want to save everybody and everything. I've seen a therapist (maybe something the OP should consider as well) and I have a new mantra: It's not my problem.

    @OP:
    It sounds cold-hearted, but when I leave work, work issues are not my problem anymore. Nothing I can do about it from home, no need to worry about it. It's easier said than done of course, but with practice, and nursing experience, it will get better.
    wannabe2008 and GrnTea like this.
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    When I was in school, the focus was on pass clinicals, get good grades. Period. So for some reason I do remember some things about my patients from clinicals, but I couldn't tell you their names and they don't produce much of an emotional reaction for me now. (I graduated in 2005.) My very first bed bath patient had rheumatoid arthritis, now I find that to be interesting as it seems to be chewing on my joints now, and I am glad I treated him with respect and did a good job. I didn't have a lot of "room" for getting attached to the patients while I was in school, really I was too anxious about not messing up and flunking out.

    So as a new nurse, things kinda hit hard. I remember my first code, my first deaths, the first time I had an "aha" moment with an end stage COPD'er and realized he was having an MI, like right there, right then. (And he was. And he died very soon thereafter.) I didn't want to forget their names. I had the urge to treasure the things they taught me and especially for the deceased ones, to allow them to live on. Problem is, of course that I'm human and I have this life, and it really doesn't have room for me to mourn extensively for everyone I meet who's elderly and sick. That's a LOT of people.

    Stress brought me shingles, recurrent, took six months to get it under control, several back injuries were not helped by stress at all, high blood pressure (mediated by my lipid profile and genetics), kidney stones, and now some form of inflammatory arthritis. I am actively the last two years making strides, finally, in leaving people at work. I try to treat them well, but I can not possibly remember them all and I can not carry them all around with me. I'll allow maybe one a year, I'm thinking, to stay with me awhile. And there will be people who teach me things; I can remember what is learned but everyone needs sanctuary, especially the nurses. We just have to keep telling ourselves that, and practice compartmentalization, and take care of ourselves, if we want to live good lives. Work is not life.
    GrnTea and aknottedyarn like this.
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    There is a 4 step process of thinking in yoga called RAIN. It allows you to accept your feelings without being consumed by them. It also teaches you comfort yourself. Check it out!
    aknottedyarn likes this.
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    I found clinicals to be a different kind of stress than actually working on the floor. You have to stress over different things. I used to take it home in school (which I believe can be a good thing if you are a student) but in the field, I close the door on the way out and everything just stays in the building. Guess I just learned there is nothing to be gained by taking it home.
    aknottedyarn likes this.
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    Quote from NurseDirtyBird
    @OP:
    It sounds cold-hearted, but when I leave work, work issues are not my problem anymore. Nothing I can do about it from home, no need to worry about it. It's easier said than done of course, but with practice, and nursing experience, it will get better.
    Also age helps alot. At this point in my life, there is very little that stressess me out either at work or home. The big change comes when you realize those problems are not problems no matter how bad they seem. They are just situations. Easy to say when you are young but easier to live as you get older.
    GrnTea, aknottedyarn, and BrandonLPN like this.


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