How do you deal w/a student you don't like?

  1. how do you deal with a student that you do not like? i am doing well in the course, but i have clashed w/my instructor on many occassions. i have tried several time to work things out with this instructor, but nothing helps. the instructor will not listen to any student and is set in her own ways. something must change in order for this semester to end on a good note. the tension has became so real that i cannot handle it anymore, and it is affecting my personal life. help! any suggestions will be greatly appreciated
    Last edit by Fivestar22 on Apr 23, '04
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  2. 17 Comments

  3. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Ask yourself how you would handle this in the workplace.
  4. by   zenman
    You have a CHOICE as to how you let it affect you.
  5. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I agree with zenman. There are people everywhere you won't like. Think this CLASSMATE annoys you? Wait til you become A NURSE and meet some people who WORK at your side, your supervisors, and those patients/family members who drive you nuts. You have to learn to deal with it and not let them get to you NOW. IT does NOT get easier once you become a nurse. Practice your coping and tolerance skills NOW. You will NEED Them later.
  6. by   gypsyatheart
    Are you the student clashing with the instructor? Or are you talking about a classmate? Your post is somewhat ambiguous...but I get the impression that you are the student. Either way, the others are right, listen to what Deb says....
    What you need to realize is *What are your real goals?*......To finish this class successfully and be able to move on to your next semester...then, to finish that semester, etc, etc. Your true goal is to graduate nursing school, pass boards and become a nurse, correct?
    Your goal is not to win a popularity contest or worry if an instructor is set in her ways. Most of them are. So? You need to develop a new attitude here, b/k the instructor is not going to change! Focus on your job...stop being so personally involved, start developing a thick skin now....because nursing school is where a lot of people who won't make it in nursing are weeded out. The instructor has a job, you have a job. Get tough, do what you need to do...and "never let 'em see ya sweat"!
    Good luck!
  7. by   truern
    i think i needed this thread

    now i understand why my lead instructor put me with a student she knows i detest for summer clinicals..

    lesson learned
  8. by   BabyRN2Be
    I agree with moondancer. ARE you the student you are referring to? Are you wanting tips on how to deal with an instructor who you feel is being too hard on you?

    If not, how will this situation affect you directly? If it doesn't matter to you directly, you probably need to learn how to shake things off.

    We'd like to help, but we need more information. You wouldn't be the first student who has a conflict with an instructor on these boards, so don't be ashamed. Everyone has one of those situations.
  9. by   flowerchild
    It is OK to have a personality conflict with another person. It happens. You have to find a way to live with it. Try keeping contact with this person strictly professional. In my work I have never tried to "make freinds" at work. I am there to do a job, not socialize. Not everyone is going to like you and you will not like everyone, but you still have to work with these people, so you find a way to make it as best as possible. Don't dwell on it. Don't let it affect you. Just accept it for what it is and find a working relationship that you can both live with.
  10. by   Fivestar22
    I am the student, thanks for the advice, I think it is the best I 've heard so far. I know that I am there for one thing, and that is to learn. Sometimes its just hard to deal with someone who is so horrible. The good news is she is not going to be back next semester. 2 more weeks to go!!!!! Thanks again




    Quote from moondancer
    Are you the student clashing with the instructor? Or are you talking about a classmate? Your post is somewhat ambiguous...but I get the impression that you are the student. Either way, the others are right, listen to what Deb says....
    What you need to realize is *What are your real goals?*......To finish this class successfully and be able to move on to your next semester...then, to finish that semester, etc, etc. Your true goal is to graduate nursing school, pass boards and become a nurse, correct?
    Your goal is not to win a popularity contest or worry if an instructor is set in her ways. Most of them are. So? You need to develop a new attitude here, b/k the instructor is not going to change! Focus on your job...stop being so personally involved, start developing a thick skin now....because nursing school is where a lot of people who won't make it in nursing are weeded out. The instructor has a job, you have a job. Get tough, do what you need to do...and "never let 'em see ya sweat"!
    Good luck!
  11. by   Fivestar22
    I am the student, and yes I am having a hard time with one of my instructors. She was nice at first, then things just kept getting worse. Now they are so bad, that we are not even speaking to each other. She's rude and a bunch of the girls in my class recently went to the dean and complained. She found out and said "I don't care." We only have a couple weeks left, and I think things are going to be ok??? I know she is not coming back next semester, should I just try to get through???



    Quote from BabyRN2Be
    I agree with moondancer. ARE you the student you are referring to? Are you wanting tips on how to deal with an instructor who you feel is being too hard on you?

    If not, how will this situation affect you directly? If it doesn't matter to you directly, you probably need to learn how to shake things off.

    We'd like to help, but we need more information. You wouldn't be the first student who has a conflict with an instructor on these boards, so don't be ashamed. Everyone has one of those situations.
  12. by   gij1
    Always stay professional. Vent at home, NOT AT SCHOOL OR WORK. Do not talk about others, just do your best. This semester too shall pass. We have all had nightmare semesters & gotten through. Hey u must only have a few weeks or days left!
  13. by   moia
    I had the clinical instructer from hell...I am not kidding. Looking back the woman should have been commited and really if I had been required to deal with her in the real world she would have had my foot up her....well you get the picture..but she was the instructer bingeing on power and getting off on being an a**ho** and I was a student and nursing school is a nasty little place where you no longer have real world rights and are expected to swim cheerfully and professionally through a swimming pool of bs and love it because you love helping people.
    So here is your first opportunity to paste on that tight pained fake smile, nod cheerfully ,agree with everything this sociopath says and survive this rotation. Usually you will only meet one of these people through your schooling and the bonus is you will now be able to instantly recognize this type and you will know exactly how you will need to behave to survive.

    Learn all you can from the nurses around you on clinical, try not to let this ridiculous behaviour cost you learning or experience but accept disappointment as graciously as possible...you only have a little time left...hang in there...I know how terrible it can be to your confidence to have an instructer who you believe dislikes you...remember something important..this woman is nothing to you..she is not family nor friend,when you finish school chances are you will never see her again so really who cares what her personal opinion of you is? The only opinion that matters is does she feel you met the standards of this rotation and if you document and make sure you have done all the work and you have been well prepared there shouldn't be any problem.
  14. by   Jamesdotter
    Boy, this topic takes me back. I, too, had a clinical instructor from h--- I couldn't do anything right. The dean of the nursing school finally moved me to a different unit with a different instructor. I was so demoralized by that time that I was lucky to get a "C". I seem to remember a conversation with the dean--something along the lines of "I have to learn to get along with everyone." The next time the dean called me into her office, it was to tell me "I am moving you"! Oddly enough, the instructor was scrupulously fair in grading papers. We figured that was because she never looked at names.

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