How do you work with a ***** ??? - page 2

I need advice...I work med/surg, and if we miss a scheduled weekend, we have to make it up. Well, guess what. My makeup weekend is working "with" the biggest ***** I've ever seen. I am so... Read More

  1. by   soundsLikesirens
    Thanks for all the replies, people. Well, you know, I may be blowing this out of proportion....(yeah, right...) But it's "only" two 12-hour shifts...it's not like I have to work with it on a regular basis (ick! just the thought of that makes my skin crawl...) Thanks for all the advice...but really; I'm not interested in "helping her with her personal problems"....as far as I am concerned, she can take her personal problems, if any, and shove 'em up her a**!!!
    To my way of thinking, her #1 priority should be the patients and BEHAVING in a PROFESSIONAL manner --- if she can't do that, then she needs to get the hell outta Dodge.
  2. by   soundsLikesirens
    P.S. We've ALL got personal problems. Every one of us. BUT BE PROFESSIONAL - DO YOUR JOB - MAKE THE PATIENT THE PRIORITY - OR GET OUT!!! That's how I feel....I don't give a rat's ass about her problems - there's no excuse for behavior like that from a nurse!
  3. by   lesliee
    You will let us know how your weekend went, won't you sirens?
  4. by   sherryleetns
    Originally posted by Tim-GNP:
    Alternatively, you could do what I would do... Show her REALLY who the biggest and baddest P**** really is!

    This technique only works if you have a firm handle on your job, and will never need her advice or help with anything [and by the sounds of it, her advice/help would probably be the last thing you needed].

    After spending years in management, I have learned that management DOES NOT CARE about the 'petty' and 'juvenile' [I quote from other nursing administration 'professionals' I have worked with] problems of floor nurses. The only interest is that other staff members didn't hear or see whatever, and that it's kept away from patients & visitors.

    With that in mind... take her where no one can hear and tell her what a f****** idiot you think she is! Let her know that you think she is a sh**ty nurse and a b****. Furthermore, tell her if she ever speaks to you agaiin that you will break every bone in her f****** body.

    I used this technique with another male R.N. whom I worked with many years ago who was burned out of nursing so bad, I'm surprised he didn't leave a trail of ashes as he walked down the hall! I would have preferred to have bamboo shoved under my finger and toe nails rather than work with him. I DREADED work... until that fateful night. I got him in the shower room by telling him I had to show him something that was left from day shift. He didn't know what hit him. Until the day he resigned, he never spoke to me again, and when he did-- it was with respect [albeit faked].

    Sure... he told the ADON and the DON. I categorically denied it. "IS he crazy?" I asked "Why would he say that?" and then "Did anyone hear me say that?" The answer, of course, was a resounding NO. Ergo, it turned into a case of 'my word against his.' No discipline delivered.

    Unprofessional? probably....was I proud that I had to act that way? NO. Would I do it over again? YES. There are some people out there that cannot be reasoned with. They want to know NOTHING about you, and they don't care for or about you. They think that they are right and everyone else is inferior. This is actually the basis of hate crimes. When you consciously decide to stop being the victim, and take control of your own destiny, you will avoid the alternative [popping your lansoprazole 30 mg daily, and going to bed at night with a red wine and some lorazepam].

    In cases like this, I think a temporary lapse of professionalism is sometimes needed.



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  5. by   sherryleetns
    Originally posted by Tim-GNP:
    Alternatively, you could do what I would do... Show her REALLY who the biggest and baddest P**** really is!

    This technique only works if you have a firm handle on your job, and will never need her advice or help with anything [and by the sounds of it, her advice/help would probably be the last thing you needed].

    After spending years in management, I have learned that management DOES NOT CARE about the 'petty' and 'juvenile' [I quote from other nursing administration 'professionals' I have worked with] problems of floor nurses. The only interest is that other staff members didn't hear or see whatever, and that it's kept away from patients & visitors.

    With that in mind... take her where no one can hear and tell her what a f****** idiot you think she is! Let her know that you think she is a sh**ty nurse and a b****. Furthermore, tell her if she ever speaks to you agaiin that you will break every bone in her f****** body.

    I used this technique with another male R.N. whom I worked with many years ago who was burned out of nursing so bad, I'm surprised he didn't leave a trail of ashes as he walked down the hall! I would have preferred to have bamboo shoved under my finger and toe nails rather than work with him. I DREADED work... until that fateful night. I got him in the shower room by telling him I had to show him something that was left from day shift. He didn't know what hit him. Until the day he resigned, he never spoke to me again, and when he did-- it was with respect [albeit faked].

    Sure... he told the ADON and the DON. I categorically denied it. "IS he crazy?" I asked "Why would he say that?" and then "Did anyone hear me say that?" The answer, of course, was a resounding NO. Ergo, it turned into a case of 'my word against his.' No discipline delivered.

    Unprofessional? probably....was I proud that I had to act that way? NO. Would I do it over again? YES. There are some people out there that cannot be reasoned with. They want to know NOTHING about you, and they don't care for or about you. They think that they are right and everyone else is inferior. This is actually the basis of hate crimes. When you consciously decide to stop being the victim, and take control of your own destiny, you will avoid the alternative [popping your lansoprazole 30 mg daily, and going to bed at night with a red wine and some lorazepam].

    In cases like this, I think a temporary lapse of professionalism is sometimes needed.

    You go Tim, Professional or not sometimes you got to call 'em like you see 'em. I think as nurses we have the right o stand up for our selves, therefor standing up for the care we give. And as for this nurses personal problems LEAVE THEM AT HOME, if b**** nurse is taking her/his problems out on you think of the poor pt./family who gets this little joy for a full 12 hours. I know that is a nurse I would want caring for me or one of mine. Siren keep your head up and let B**** nurse see just how little her actions affect you.
  6. by   mustangsheba
    Hey, Tim, don't bad mouth the wolves! Your advice is so right on. I'm sorry we sometimes have to resort to such drastic measures. Unfortunately, there are people out there who will treat others disrespectfully until you get in their face. Hang in there Sirens! Who knows - maybe this **** will have the flu this weekend or maybe she'll bite herself too hard and have to stay home. Don't let her get between you and the door. You know we're here for you.
  7. by   Tim-GNP
    Sherryleetns has also brought up another interesting point. If they act like this to other nurses, how are they treating their patients?

    In my world of Gerontological nursing, a great percentage of my patient's are institutionalized because of dementing illnesses. They CANNOT tell if someone was good or kind to them. If they can't even give common courtesies to me, a fellow staff member, how would they treat an old man or woman with Alzheimer's who spit their medication back in their face, or slapped them??? I would say they would react in a less than 'acceptable' manner.

    Believe it or not, I am not in my perpetual good mood ALL the time, and some days I have problems too. My patient's don't need to know that, though. Neither do the people I work with. I need to be supportive and carry out my role REGARDLESS of what's going on in my personal life. It's a sin not everyone tried to rise to the occasion.

    Good luck with your shifts this weekend.

  8. by   soundsLikesirens
    THANK YOU everyone... ...it is great to get all this feedback and advice. I love to come here and swap "war stories". I guess we are all of the same mind: that we all have problems but, as nurses, we leave them at home and make patient care the priority. I agree, also, that we should BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER....example: the CNA I worked with last night. We had a patient who was confused/incontinent...of course, her bed was wet and had to be changed. I told my CNA her bed was wet and needed to be changed...and that I would help her. She got the linens, etc, and went in...of course, at the nurse's station, someone called for pain med...then the call light went off and there was no one else to answer it...you know how it is...you have something to do but you cannot get to it for the constant interruptions...well, by the time I got headed back up the hall to help my CNA change the bed, she was coming out of the patient's room - mad as hell! She said, "Thanks alot!" She was really mad...then she said, "You're really worthless!" It hurt my feelings, to say the least....back at the nurses' station, she announced she was going on break...I explained to her why I hadn't been able to get back to help...anyway, a few minutes later, she was in the staff lounge and I asked her if she was allright. I know she has to work 2 jobs and also, she is going through a divorce right now and may have some sort of problem at home or just be worn out. She never did apologize for her outburst, but her mood did improve. I just try to get along with people. I try to forgive people and be nice to them...of course, if they are constantly hateful like the subject of this thread....that's different.
  9. by   Doc
    I've got to disagree with Tim's advice. I realise this nurse is a total disaster to work with - a rude, undermining, hostile ***** . But don't you think there's too much ******** going on amongst nurses already?

    By reacting in kind you are continuing this behaviour on, you lower yourself to her level, and you set an example for other nurses that when you don't like someone you just treat them like ****. Even if they can see that she was doing the same.

    I would suggest you try to handle the situation with grace. Like you said, it is only two shifts. Her behaviour will no doubt recur. Management will not take you very seriously if you act ****** back to her. They will say "well, she is no saint either". Act in grace and your colleagues will vouch for you. You will win in the end. Quiet revenge is oh so sweet.

    Doc
  10. by   soundsLikesirens
    I totally disagree. I never said I dislike her - I said she is a hostile ***** . That's different.
    Also, it has nothing to do with "treating her like ****..." It has to do with GETTING HER OFF MY BACK, so I can do my job - safely.
    ALSO; I ain't worried about management and what management may/may not "think"..I'm not planning to bring mgmt. into it because I agree with the poster that mgmt. really doesn't care or doesn't have time to mess with personality clashes, etc.
    I'm not "lowering myself to her level". That's a cop-out. Besides, it's physically impossible to go that low....... .....I never said I was going to take her aside and tell her that I'm going to beat the **** out of her, etc. But I am open to ways of dealing with her...
  11. by   Cathy RN
    Sorry Doc.

    You know working with someone who conctantly makes you feel worthless, upset, not wanting to go to work falls under harassment. This Nurse has been spoken to reported and still continues this behavior. These people are very difficult to deal with on both sides of the fence and it is unfortunate the soundslikesirens had to settle this herself . It takes alot of courage to confront a coworker like that but I believe it is better to do that than to go along as if nothing is wrong or letting someone away with treating you like that. I'm sorry it came to that for you sirens but I'm in your corner.
  12. by   Tim-GNP
    The sad thing is, that I am giving this advice BECAUSE of my tenure in nursing administration. NHA's or DON's don't want to hear about 'personality clashes' between their nurses. I was 'spoken to' several times because I brought together people like 'soundsLikesirens' and her attempted oppressor. I would bring them together and let them speak in meaningful dialogue... BULL. I would be told that my time should not be spent being a referee, and that I should have just 'fired' the staff members involved.

    I would probably cry if anyone ever said they could NOT work with me because I was mean. Sometimes my opinions may be strong, but ALWAYS are they considerate. Some people cannot do that.

    When you run into rude people like that, this is when my advice comes in handy. I hate to say it, and it makes me cringe, but sometimes: "The only thing a big dog respects is a bigger dog!"

    Take care
  13. by   mustangsheba
    Or an Alpha Wolf, Tim! (TeeHee)

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