How do you deal with dirty old men? - page 3

I'm going to start working as a CNA soon, and although I'm looking forward to it, I'm dreading the perverted old men. While enrolled in my CNA class, the first resident I was assigned to asked me if... Read More

  1. Visit  Crystle_clear profile page
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    I know he is awful sometimes. I hope this doesn't offend anyone but he is of middle eastern descent and I think that plays a lot in to the fact that he has little or no respect for women. Errrrr.
  2. Visit  Marie_LPN, RN profile page
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    What i think would play a factor in it is that some people in his culture view these responses in a way that the woman must have done something to trigger it.
  3. Visit  hipab4hands profile page
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    This totally unacceptable. Make sure you document any conversations that you have with the Dr. and the Administrator. I would inform them that you are documenting these incidents and will file a complaint with EEOC,unless some type of policy is put into place.
    I would also inform the Dr. that you are going to file a complaint with the State Medical Board unless he takes steps to make sure that doesn't happen again.
  4. Visit  Plagueis profile page
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    Quote from epiphany
    I am sorry but I must make a comment about that. Women shouldn't have to feel responsible for encouraging sexual advances just because they wear make up. This goes hand in hand with women being accused of encouraging rape because they dress "inappropriately". And of women being stoned unless they cover themselves completely in certain parts of the world. Wanting to look pretty or presentable by putting makeup should be every woman's right, and we are not the ones who need to change.
    I totally agree with you. Women are still being blamed for the bad behavior by men, which seems to imply that men cannot control themselves. Women have the right to look good without being accused of "asking for it."
  5. Visit  Marie_LPN, RN profile page
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    Quote from Tommybabe
    I totally agree with you. Women are still being blamed for the bad behavior by men, which seems to imply that men cannot control themselves. Women have the right to look good without being accused of "asking for it."
    Thank you....
  6. Visit  Dayray profile page
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    You will earn how to deal with it. By deal with it I don't mean put up with it. You will learn how to make them stop.

    There are some pretty good examles on this board. What you ahve to do is find a way to take the wind out of their sails but in a way that will embarrass them rather then tick them off.

    Sometimes mentioning their family like "what if I was our grand duaghter?" or just being firm "Do not do that!" or you can really take the wind out of their sails with a statment like "Old man, you don't have anything I want".

    Soemtimes you have to be harsh and even a littel mean but it's vital that your patients respect you in order to provide good care to them. You are right about not giggleing or blushing as this will make it much worse. I have seen some pretty disgussting things happen to shy young girls who don't assert them selves.

    As a man I've had some pretty weird situations myself and at first they would scare the crap out of me. Now it rarely comes up becuse I present myself in a way that makes people (even crazy people) from trying to pull stuff on me. My patients love me but they also respect me and know that can't get away with being rude or inaprorate.
  7. Visit  TweetiePieRN profile page
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    Quote from Marie_LPN
    THANK YOU!!!

    I cannot believe someone would suggest NOT wearing makeup to STOP this!
    I agree with you Marie!! However, the person that originally posted not wearing makeup lives in a part of California that is known for being hippy/naturalistic/beatnik-ish. That could be why that poster said that.
  8. Visit  TweetiePieRN profile page
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    Quote from Crystle_clear
    I know he is awful sometimes. I hope this doesn't offend anyone but he is of middle eastern descent and I think that plays a lot in to the fact that he has little or no respect for women. Errrrr.
    I think it plays a huge role. Their culture does not think of women as equals. Maybe people who come to live here from other countries should be required to learn about our social rules and expectations.
  9. Visit  Marie_LPN, RN profile page
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    Quote from TweetiePieRN
    I agree with you Marie!! However, the person that originally posted not wearing makeup lives in a part of California that is known for being hippy/naturalistic/beatnik-ish. That could be why that poster said that.
    I disagree.
  10. Visit  TweetiePieRN profile page
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    Quote from Marie_LPN
    I disagree.
    I'm sorry, what are you disagreeing with? I AGREE with your point of view not that other posters.

    I was just mentioning the possible rationale behind his/her thinking. OOPS. They are from Arcadia...not Arcata. Ok, forget my last post...I don't know anything about Arcadia, CA! :imbar
  11. Visit  Marie_LPN, RN profile page
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    I just disagree that the area had little to do with the person's opinion on makeup.
  12. Visit  TweetiePieRN profile page
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    Quote from Marie_LPN
    I just disagree that the area had little to do with the person's opinion on makeup.
    In a big city, I would agree with what you said regarding it having very little to with the person's opinion on makeup. Big cities are so fragmented that there probably is no real "characteristic" that those people all share. Different for little towns/cities.

    I used to live in Arcata...and believe me! Its heavily populated with hippy-like artsy individuals. Very liberal. Its VERY much a part of the culture up there to not wear makeup, to ride a bike vs drive a car, to recycle, vegan/vegetarianism etc, not to shave legs (you probably get the drift). They kinda shun mainstream things like big box stores and corporate America. Arcata has a higher than average population of people who practice freeganism instead of holding an actual job.

    If you ever toured up there, you would be amazed at how much this picture I painted is very real.
    Last edit by TweetiePieRN on Nov 8, '05
  13. Visit  epiphany profile page
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    Quote from TweetiePieRN
    I was just mentioning the possible rationale behind his/her thinking. OOPS. They are from Arcadia...not Arcata. Ok, forget my last post...I don't know anything about Arcadia, CA! :imbar
    Arcata, Arcadia, Middle East, Asia...this kind of harassment of women happens all over the world, and as is evident in this thread, we are not immune from it in this country. That's what this is about, whichever way you cut it. There should be no rationizing this behavior. Someone might come from a different place, different country, heck, even your neighbour might be accustomed to harassing the women in his family. It's never okay.

    Every bully is opportunistic. I don't even like the term "dirty old men" because this seems to excuse them. Like, oh, he's just a dirty old man. Or, he's from this culture. So what? Assault and battery is a crime in this country. Yes, a crime even if it's directed at a nurse.

    Ugh, this makes me so mad.


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