How do you deal with dirty old men? - page 3
by Mirai Kangofu 16,470 Views | 70 Comments
I'm going to start working as a CNA soon, and although I'm looking forward to it, I'm dreading the perverted old men. While enrolled in my CNA class, the first resident I was assigned to asked me if I was a virgin, and that he... Read More
- 0Nov 7, '05 by LoriAlabamaRNI've had this happen to me, and it has happened both here in the LTC facility and at the hospital I worked at before I worked here. I actually had a 95-year old man yank the neck of my scrub top down to get a nice peek while I put his blood pressure cuff on his arm.
Basically, when it happens here, there are two ways I deal with it. One, if the resident has dementia. In that case I chart the behavior in the computer and make sure all staff members know to be on guard. Two, if the resident is alert and oriented, I not only chart the behavior but I have a talk with him. I have had my CNAs come to me with this. I go in there, sit down, and seriously discuss their behavior. If he is married I state that his wife will be informed so she can work with us to ensure it does not happen again. I also state that the incident is going into his permanent records and if it recurs the insurance company will be notified and plans made for him to go to a different facility better equipped to handle deviants. This has never failed. Sometimes they cry.
- 0Nov 7, '05 by Super_RNI work night shift and there are only two of there all night unless things are really wild. Also, there are very few male nursing staff where I work. Depending on the situation (dementia or not) determines what I do or say. I have had men try to pull me in bed with them and say quite disgusting things. Normally I respond with "You are not confused and I am not putting up with this" or "T or M (male nurses) will be caring for you the rest of the shift". I have also told men to leave their hands off of me and if they didn't comply then I would tie their hands down, it didn't matter to me. Of course, for some perverts it was probably more of a turn on.
- 0Nov 7, '05 by Marie_LPN, RNQuote from epiphanyTHANK YOU!!!I am sorry but I must make a comment about that. Women shouldn't have to feel responsible for encouraging sexual advances just because they wear make up. This goes hand in hand with women being accused of encouraging rape because they dress "inappropriately". And of women being stoned unless they cover themselves completely in certain parts of the world. Wanting to look pretty or presentable by putting makeup should be every woman's right, and we are not the ones who need to change.
I cannot believe someone would suggest NOT wearing makeup to STOP this!
- 0Nov 7, '05 by CubbyWe have in place a policy for staff who have to deal with "Dirty old men." Both non-dementia and dementia patients are covered in this policy. You might get your facility to do like wise! It does not stop the behavior, but gives the staff a way of dealing with them, and they know that Admin is on their side.
- 0Nov 7, '05 by Crystle_clearI've worked a psychiatric technician in a state hospital ward for 3 years now and boy is this is hot topic among the female staff there. I've been had the sexually inappropriate remarks, the hair pulling, the chest and butt grabbing, and once I was cornered in a pt.s room during an admission and thrown to the floor. Thank god some one was watching the cameras! I know that when you are dealing with psychotic sexually preoccupied individuals who have been in a state facility for years, there will be some pent up sexual frustration. What gets to me is that administration refuses to acknowledge this as a problem. Sexually charged contact is not considered a restrainable offense. Last week, a particuarly large man was making some very verbal and disgusting remarks while following me around. When a male tech saw him grab at my chest, he initiated a "Dr. Strong" which is code for every one to come running to help restrain a pt. When the doctor was called afterward he demanded the pt. be let up and admonished us for "jumping the gun. After all boys will be boys." He also said "If that girl has a problem being touched then mabye she is in the wrong line of work". :angryfire I was so livid! I took my concerns to the director of nursing, but I'm pretty sure she could care less. Fortunatly I work with a mostly male staff that do a great job of looking out for everyone. I just can't belive the mentality still exisits that a women should expect to be viewed as nothing but a sexual object.Last edit by Crystle_clear on Nov 7, '05
- 0Nov 7, '05 by hipab4handsThis totally unacceptable. Make sure you document any conversations that you have with the Dr. and the Administrator. I would inform them that you are documenting these incidents and will file a complaint with EEOC,unless some type of policy is put into place.
I would also inform the Dr. that you are going to file a complaint with the State Medical Board unless he takes steps to make sure that doesn't happen again.
- 0Nov 8, '05 by PlagueisQuote from epiphanyI totally agree with you. Women are still being blamed for the bad behavior by men, which seems to imply that men cannot control themselves. Women have the right to look good without being accused of "asking for it."I am sorry but I must make a comment about that. Women shouldn't have to feel responsible for encouraging sexual advances just because they wear make up. This goes hand in hand with women being accused of encouraging rape because they dress "inappropriately". And of women being stoned unless they cover themselves completely in certain parts of the world. Wanting to look pretty or presentable by putting makeup should be every woman's right, and we are not the ones who need to change.