How are "older" grads accepted? - page 2

I've read here, several times, that "Nurses eat their young" and am hoping that this isn't the "norm" out there .... :) I am wondering tho, what the reaction is to the "older" grad nurse joining... Read More

  1. by   zacarias
    Hey guys,

    I'm a relatively new nurse (6 months) at a large teaching hospital and 99% of everyone is awesome and treats me great. I get a long with them and we laugh, learn, and share together. Except one nurse.
    She smiled at me like the first day of orientation but has been curt, rude, and not that pleasant to me ever since. She is pleasant to others, even new people. I must have done something that she considered a slight months ago (unbenownst to me) and now I'm paying for it.
    The thing is, I think about it all the time. It upsets me that she must have a problem with me, I mean one nurse out of the whole unit. One time she yelled at me because a patient I had given report to her about needed blooded and she said I told her that they "might give blood." I have a pretty good memory and I told her that he "needed blood" for sure. She will not accept any other thing besides that she's right.
    I did once ask her point blank if she had a problem with me, and said, "No not at all" in a weird, almost sarcastic way.
    Anyway, I know I just need to shake it off but it's difficult. Thanks for letting me say this.
  2. by   jewelsg627
    Quote from jnette
    Just be yourself, do what you love, and the rest will follow. Some ppl love you, some ppl hate you... no matter where, or what career you choose.

    At this wonderful "mature" age, we have the benefit of not having to give a hoot what ppl think anymore ! YOU know who you are and what you're capable of... do it well, and the heck with what others think !

    As long as your PATIENTS respect you, what else matters ?
    1.) Jnette - I LOVE your cat pix -- that is ADORABLE!

    2.) I am just waiting for the day when I won't give a hoot about what so-and-so thinks/says about me. However, being 23 and still not fully "mature" in that sense, I must say I DO have enormous amounts of respect for nurses (and, well, people in general) that can do that. I look up to you all.

    Some day...some day. I'm working on it.

    Zach -

    IMHO, Since you "confronted" her about it and acted in a mature fashion instead of being passive-aggressive about the situation (like it seems to be in her case) ...what else can you do? Not much. You did your part by communicating with her and tryng to "clear things up". If she still wants to act hostile and lug around whatever resentment she harbors towards you (although, this might just be her *true* nasty personality -- if so, steer clear and know its not about you...its her!) then that's her problem. Let her deal with it.

    Just my 2 cents.

    )And I suppose with the economy these days its not worth much!) j/k :chuckle

    ~Jewels
  3. by   traumaRUs
    We love all our new nurses - it doesn't matter their age! Come on over to Illinois where we currently have 2 inches of new snow on the ground and the snowblower is already stored!!
  4. by   Stitchie
    Quote from traumaRUs
    We love all our new nurses - it doesn't matter their age! Come on over to Illinois where we currently have 2 inches of new snow on the ground and the snowblower is already stored!!
    Where do you work? Is Mapleton far south (like Kankakee) or far west (like Rockford?)

    I for one would love to see you in action -- you seem to be an awesome nurse, and I'm still having that "trying to find my place" feeling.
  5. by   zacarias
    Quote from jewelsg627
    1.)
    Zach -

    IMHO, Since you "confronted" her about it and acted in a mature fashion instead of being passive-aggressive about the situation (like it seems to be in her case) ...what else can you do? Not much. You did your part by communicating with her and tryng to "clear things up". If she still wants to act hostile and lug around whatever resentment she harbors towards you (although, this might just be her *true* nasty personality -- if so, steer clear and know its not about you...its her!) then that's her problem. Let her deal with it.
    Jewels,

    Thanks for the comments, I think you're right. I have done what I can. I will continue to be civil to her and maybe sometime she'll come around but I can't lose any sleep over it.
  6. by   Southern Charm
    Where were you nurses like you when I was the new nurse??? I became an RN at 30, and I felt like I was the old RN on staff! When I graduated, it was hard to find a job (can you believe it??? ), and the first place that was willing to hire me was an LTC center. Unfortunately, they had also hired another new RN, about 10 years younger than me a month earlier, and I often felt like the child who is big for his or her age that people expect to be more developmentally advanced than they really are - I just couldn't perform at the level they expected upon arrival. I was slow though. I think I was so concerned about doing the right thing that I had a tendency to overanalyze everything I did and the outcomes - especially at first.

    We had mostly LPN's at the facility, and I also concluded that one of the issues I faced probably involved the fact that I had set my sights on being more upwardly mobile, and was already enrolled in my BSN program at the time, whereas I think they were all pretty comfortable where they were. That facility had a lot of issues between the RN's and LPN's though, and especially from the LPN's toward another LPN who was working toward her RN. The younger RN that I spoke of seemed to be the exception. They took her under their wing - maybe because her personality was more malleable. I received very little help most of the time, and it was a rough way to start a career.

    Additional Thoughts . . .

    As I wrote this, I wondered if perhaps it is better for a new RN to be trained by RN's versus LPN's due to the possibility for resentment to surface from LPN's who have more clinical experience than the new RN, but are lower on the pay scale and may be under the "supervision" of the new RN on a particular shift - even if such "supervision" is primarily on paper at first. Hmmmm . . .
    Last edit by Southern Charm on Mar 17, '04 : Reason: Inclusion of additional content
  7. by   MryRose
    Quote from jnette
    Yeah, BABY !!! :chuckle

    The older I get, the more vocal I get. Not that I would ever be purposely rude or crude... or insensitive. But I will and DO speak my mind anymore, and love that liberated feeling of not having to worry about all the "smalll stuff" ... "who's saying what about me"?

    I frankly don't CARE !!! I've EARNED this state of mind !

    It's wonderful to get to that point in life when you KNOW who you are, accept yourself with all the good AND bad, and just LIVE.

    I enjoy taking the GOOD of every day, and leaving the rest behind for others to squabble over.

    I LIKE your attitude!!

    Hugs!
    MaryRose
  8. by   MryRose
    Thanks for the great info everyone. I appreciate your input!

    Molly I am sending best wishes for great results on your NCLEX today!!

    Zack the funny thing about people with attitudes is that it is all a power trip.

    If you can just act like it is not phasing you at all, it will have no usefulness for the aggressor. Be yourself, act with her as you would one of the more "social" people and let her deal with her own issues.

    It's not always an easy thing to do, but if you are consistently nice even in the face of aggression, it can quite often diffuse a negative attitude. Who knows, once she relaxes around you, she may even end up being a friend.

    This has worked for me many times and maybe it might help you.

    Hugs!!

    MaryRose
  9. by   Quickbeam
    I found that people cut me all kinds of slack because I was an older new grad. Patients just assumed I'd been around forever. Really, wasn't an issue.
  10. by   Havin' A Party!
    Quote from heart queen
    ... A new nurse is an ABSOLUTE treasure! Being older, gives you many more experiences in life that I have had, I hope to learn from you...
    Heart Queen -- You stole my heart with this post!

    Thanks for sharing.
  11. by   Havin' A Party!
    Quote from 3rdShiftGuy
    We older nurses will leave you alone. You will however be eaten by the younger nurses. Sorry.
    Cracked me up again, 3rd Shift! :chuckle
  12. by   jnette
    Quote from quickbeam
    i found that people cut me all kinds of slack because i was an older new grad. patients just assumed i'd been around forever. really, wasn't an issue.

    besides.... we "oldies" rock !!! :d

    what could there possibly be not to like ? :chuckle
  13. by   purplemania
    I was an older grad and wondered about being accepted, but it turned out that all nurses of varying age, gender, ethnicity really just want a good co-worker they can depend upon. You will do fine.

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