Help with board complaint

Nurses General Nursing

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I am wondering if anyone has experience with something similar. I am a RN in Mississippi. My boyfriend told me last night his wife informed him she filed a complaint against me to the BON for unprofessional conduct due to our affair. He is still married but they are separated. We work together and live together now, but his wife found out about our affair a month ago and filed for divorce about 3 weeks ago against him citing adultery. We met at work and started seeing each other at work while he was still married but he has told me they were separated. My question is, will the BON actually investigate this complaint? It has nothing to do with my nursing license so I don't know how it can be viewed as unproffesional conduct. I realize dating someone who is still married is not the best thing, but I did not know it could affect my career as a nurse. He is also a nurse and we are not in management and neither of us supervise one another. Any advice or experience is appreciated.

Specializes in NICU.

Your personal love affair is not a professional misconduct and the BON has other more important issues to deal with instead of your love affair.

I am wondering if anyone has experience with something similar. I am a RN in Mississippi. My boyfriend told me last night his wife informed him she filed a complaint against me to the BON for unprofessional conduct due to our affair. He is still married but they are separated. We work together and live together now, but his wife found out about our affair a month ago and filed for divorce about 3 weeks ago against him citing adultery. We met at work and started seeing each other at work while he was still married but he has told me they were separated. My question is, will the BON actually investigate this complaint? It has nothing to do with my nursing license so I don't know how it can be viewed as unproffesional conduct. I realize dating someone who is still married is not the best thing, but I did not know it could affect my career as a nurse. He is also a nurse and we are not in management and neither of us supervise one another. Any advice or experience is appreciated.

The last time I heard about an affair being a BON issue, it was a nurse having an affair with a married patient. So you're probably OK ...which is good, because dating married man comes with a whole bunch of other problems- particularly if the marital split wasn't amicable.

Specializes in Pedi.
Your personal love affair is not a professional misconduct and the BON has other more important issues to deal with instead of your love affair.

I'm inclined to agree with this except for this statement by the OP that jumped out at me: "We met at work and started seeing each other at work while he was still married."

Seeing each other at work how? If by neglecting your patients to have sex in the locker room then maybe the Board would be interested. If you simply had an affair outside of work, I doubt they'd care.

We met at work, I am a "float nurse" and I was assigned in his unit several times. After some of the doctors became aware that we were seeing each other, I was no longer assigned in the unit he worked in. We did not neglect patients to "go have sex" but we did stay and work over on a few occasions when we did not have to. He moved in with me a few months ago and in MS it is technically illegal to "cohabitate" with a married man or woman if you are not their spouse, so that is the main reason I worry the BON would actually investigate. I have not received a notice from them this far but I don't know when his wife supposedly made the complaint and how long it would take the BON to contact me if they actually did investigate?

Your personal love affair is not a professional misconduct and the BON has other more important issues to deal with instead of your love affair.

Do you know this from experience or is this just your opinion?

May come under the "moral turpitude", clause...

If it is, in fact, illegal to cohabitate in MS, as you suggest, then yes, that might be grounds for the MS BON to investigate the complaint; although, I would find it hard to believe that they wouldn't have bigger fish to fry.

Best wishes as you work through this.

Specializes in ED, Pedi Vasc access, Paramedic serving 6 towns.

I have some advice for you:

1) Your BF who is cheating on his wife technically is probably using you as a rebound. Very few relationships that begin in this manner last, so guess who will end up getting hurt in the end.

2) If he did this to someone he at some point presumably loved, he will do it to you!!

3) His soon to be ex-wife could actually take YOU to court for the adultery and win damages, believe it or not!

This guy sounds like somewhat of a dirt bag if he lied to you about being separated, when he was still with his wife, and he is more of a dirtbag for being with you before he was legally divorced. You are just as guilty, if you know someone is still married you have no business being with them, end of story! Please end this relationship as it is not health. He is lying and cheating on his wife, and you are willing to be his "side dish"! No matter how many promises he makes he issn't going to change!!

Annie

Specializes in Critical Care and ED.
I have some advice for you:

1) Your BF who is cheating on his wife technically is probably using you as a rebound. Very few relationships that begin in this manner last, so guess who will end up getting hurt in the end.

2) If he did this to someone he at some point presumably loved, he will do it to you!!

3) His soon to be ex-wife could actually take YOU to court for the adultery and win damages, believe it or not!

This guy sounds like somewhat of a dirt bag if he lied to you about being separated, when he was still with his wife, and he is more of a dirtbag for being with you before he was legally divorced. You are just as guilty, if you know someone is still married you have no business being with them, end of story! Please end this relationship as it is not health. He is lying and cheating on his wife, and you are willing to be his "side dish"! No matter how many promises he makes he issn't going to change!!

Annie

Judgment much? You make an awful lot of assumptions about someone else's relationship. Being married to someone doesn't mean you're together...it just means you haven't divorced yet. We don't know the details and it's none of our business. The OP asked for advice regarding the BON, not relationship advice.

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
We met at work, I am a "float nurse" and I was assigned in his unit several times. After some of the doctors became aware that we were seeing each other, I was no longer assigned in the unit he worked in. We did not neglect patients to "go have sex" but we did stay and work over on a few occasions when we did not have to. He moved in with me a few months ago and in MS it is technically illegal to "cohabitate" with a married man or woman if you are not their spouse, so that is the main reason I worry the BON would actually investigate. I have not received a notice from them this far but I don't know when his wife supposedly made the complaint and how long it would take the BON to contact me if they actually did investigate?

Gotta love the Bible belt! Most nursing boards have language in their Nurse Practice acts that addresses crimes of moral turpitude. Still you'd have to be arrested and convicted before the BON would likely take action. You could call the BON anonymously of go to your state's BON website and look at the discipline section to see the kinds of thing nurses get sanctioned for.

Good Luck to you.

Hppy

Specializes in Case manager, float pool, and more.

There is the possibility of the ex-spouse taking you to court for damages in which that may be a possibility for BON involvement ( although doubtful ).

Have you checked with your BON's website? I really do not think there is any way she can file a complaint against your license citing you do not care for your pts, etc. based on what you have written. But then again, there is that "no cohabitation law thing".

From my understanding most BON's do not pay attn to complaints filed that do not involve patient care, professional judgment or rudeness to peers, co-worker disputes, personality conflicts, missing work alot, tardiness, labor-management disputes.

However, I am not familiar with your state so that may be best place to check if there are any clauses, etc you need to be aware of. You could also check with an attorney for peace of mind and to CYA just in case.

Best wishes.

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