Help, I need advice for my gal who is in school to be an RN...

Nurses General Nursing

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Well, I need a little help. I have no idea what to tell my gal. She is in a tough RN program where you have to maintain a certain average or, as she tells me, you're out of the program. Now, she failed one of her tests and its crazy becasue she is so smart and from what I have heard from people that work with her...she is so good clinically. She is in her 2nd year in a 2 year program. She is scared now that she is going to fail out of this program because it will be hard to ace the other tests to bring up her average. She really is very intelligent and she knows everything about the topics covered on the test. Really, she knows it cold. That said, she has serious test anxiety (like a lot of people) and simply did bad on the test. In retrospect, she likely would have done better if she didn't over-think the questions. She reads more than what is assigned and tries too hard it seems. Not only that, but she works while in school and the hours can be hard on her. I hate to see her so nervous about all this and I want to help.

Do you really think her school will be so strict? I mean, if someone really shines in a clinical setting and its obvious she would make a great nurse, would a school really fail her out of the program in the 2nd year for not making the grade on a combined average of 4 tests? Would they really take a good clinician and fail her out that easily? It seems ridiculous!!! I feel terrible because there is nothing I can do to make her feel better and she is convinced she is gonna fail out.

I can see if you're trying to be a Navy Seal or something but an RN? You're paying for this education and it doesn't seem logical to take all your money and then get rid of you that easily...especially if you have shown that you are great in clinical and have wonderful nursing skills as well as an incredible bedside manner.

I don't know what to tell her. Any advice? Thanks!!!

yes, they will fail her if the test grades are not within passing parameters because the tests are more objective than observing someone in clinical. The problem with subjective grading is that it allows people to complain that the instructor "does not like me" or "is prejudice" or "was not there to see me when I excelled", etc. There are books on test-taking skills and how to de-stress before a test. Maybe a conference with a professional teacher, especially a resource teacher or Sylvan Learning Center instructor. My friend is a professional middle school teacher who works part-time at Sylvan helping adults learn how to learn. I think your girlfriend is lucky to have someone so interested in her and her success.

First, I would suggest she give serious thought to her relationship with a person who has such a diminished and patronizing opinion of nursing. RN's have the responsibility of life and death for all their patients while they are working and this responsibilty at least equals if not surpasses that of a Navy Seal.

Having said that, while clinical skills are important intellectual knowledge and skills and the ability to work under great pressure is equally important. And yes, RN students really do have to pass their exams and maintain a minimum grade average - nursing knowlege and care can mean life and death. I'm not sure how you would know how good she is clinically or how incredible her bedside manner is but if she is as intelligent and skillful as you belief, then she will be able to work with her instructors and fellow students to solve this problem. Some people have incredible test anxiety - maybe she could go to the school counselling center to help her relieve some of this anxiety and learn some techniques to help with test taking.

If you really want to help your "gal" be supportive and listen. This is one problem you can't solve for her.

Originally posted by KMSRN

First, I would suggest she give serious thought to her relationship with a person who has such a diminished and patronizing opinion of nursing. RN's have the responsibility of life and death for all their patients while they are working and this responsibilty at least equals if not surpasses that of a Navy Seal.

Having said that, while clinical skills are important intellectual knowledge and skills and the ability to work under great pressure is equally important. And yes, RN students really do have to pass their exams and maintain a minimum grade average - nursing knowlege and care can mean life and death. I'm not sure how you would know how good she is clinically or how incredible her bedside manner is but if she is as intelligent and skillful as you belief, then she will be able to work with her instructors and fellow students to solve this problem. Some people have incredible test anxiety - maybe she could go to the school counselling center to help her relieve some of this anxiety and learn some techniques to help with test taking.

If you really want to help your "gal" be supportive and listen. This is one problem you can't solve for her.

Settle down please. The Navy Seal reference was said because its an intensive hardcore training regimen where like only 20% of people pass. Also, I said it because, unlike a nursing program, I think Navy Seal training is free. Yikes. It was only meant as a comparison in the relm of cost and how easy it is to get dropped from Navy Seal training.

I apologize if I over-reacted. It is not easy to get dropped from a nursing program - the school will usually try to help as much as possible to avoid it. If she gets help now, hopefully she will do well.

Specializes in Corrections, Psych, Med-Surg.

"I feel terrible because there is nothing I can do to make her feel better and she is convinced she is gonna fail out."

Regarding your questions about the power, authority,ability of a school to bounce someone out who does not meet its criteria, the answer is, of course "yes." Logic, sacrifice, etc. have nothing to do with it. They get to make their own rules and enforce them as they choose. That is the bottom line--and one of my gripes about nursing schools, BTW.

The ONLY thing you can do to "make her feel better" is simply to listen. Most of the stuff she has to say to you about this (and probably about most things now and in the future) is NOT to get you to FIX it, believe this or not, nor to make suggestions, nor to help her think more logically, etc. Lots of people just need to talk and want the listener to ONLY listen, shut up, and pay attention. That's ALL. Any good book on the communications differences between men and women can clarify this point further for you if you so desire.

So far as what can be done, she might want to give the Sylvan suggestion a shot AND, if and when, she wants to actually DO something about her situation, she might want to go talk with the instructor of the course that is giving her trouble and follow WHATEVER suggestions that instructor has to give.

There is also a student nursing forum on this BB where SHE can solicit other suggestions from current nursing students.

I am a new grad i too sufferered from test anxiety and went to see a get help with dealing with test anxiety. It was helpful and i was able to get through and passed the boards this past may!

Originally posted by KMSRN

I apologize if I over-reacted. It is not easy to get dropped from a nursing program - the school will usually try to help as much as possible to avoid it. If she gets help now, hopefully she will do well.

I don't think you need to apologize. I agree with your first posting. Bender sounds like a control type to me. If the girl friend is having problems with school she should be the one asking the questions. Maybe Bender is having the real problem?

Originally posted by Gomer

I don't think you need to apologize. I agree with your first posting. Bender sounds like a control type to me. If the girl friend is having problems with school she should be the one asking the questions. Maybe Bender is having the real problem?

You know, that is a real stupid thing to say. How old are you? You're making an assumption that I am some controlling jerk because I show real concern for someone that I love and was looking for advice from people who already went through RN school. I belong to a lot of different forums and rarely would I ever lash out at someone, but your statement was completely stupid and mean. Grow up and don't make assumptions about me.

I am sitting here in disbelief. My colleague was reading through these posts and was feeling the same way. Here I am, a caring person that was looking for advice for my gal and I get attacked!!! What is the deal with some of you?

Another good way to help is to relieve some of the stress outside of school.

Prepare dinners, shake hands with that vacuum cleaner, do the shopping. Realize that this is an intensive program that requires ALL her attention right now.

Lots of relationships disolve when one of the partners is in nursing school. Those that make it are strong and won't easily be broken.

-Russell

Rusty honey, there ain't nothing sexier than a man who cooks and cleans!!!

Bender, I think you really care about your friend, but how you wrote sounded a little condescending.

"My gal"

"I can see if you're trying to be a Navy Seal or something but an RN? You're paying for this education and it doesn't seem logical to take all your money and then get rid of you "

That statement SOUNDS like you feel that all that is necessary to be an RN is cash. I'm sure that's not what you meant.

And listen to Rusty...he's right.

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