Healing Old Wounds

  1. I just finished replying to another thread

    http://allnurses.com/t55628-10-4.html

    which had the unfortunate effect of tearing up some emotional scar tissue and consequently opening up some old wounds. Since I come to this BB to vent from time to time in hopes of better understanding certain things I offer up the following:

    Why is Nursing Culture so Convoluted?

    I came to nursing as the "All American Boy" on a military scholarship so awarded because of past noteworthy job performance and academic history. As a former surgical technician my goal was to become a CRNA and I set forth to make that goal a reality.

    Long story short, in pursuit of that goal I experienced the things that many people do such as sexual harassment, hostile work environments, blatantly biased supervisors, and other offenses that motivated me to leave nursing and pursue opportunities elsewhere that offered a more positive, supportive environment. Consequently I have done well.

    The issue? I would have thought that nursing culture (i.e., the nursing profession); would have been more proactive and sympathetic on grievance redress for those issues noted above. What I found was a profession (and culture) pretty much unsympathetic to my experiences and reported concerns when grievance redress was pursued. Why is that?

    Success is the best revenge (nobody gets hurt so to speak) and I do take some satisfaction in pointing out my achievements to those who caused me such misery in my past. Yet I still have an emotional (maybe spiritual) connection to nursing that brings me back to various nursing forums such as this in hopes that by better understanding my past I will somehow improve the future for myself, my family and perhaps others who follow in our footsteps.

    For those of you coming into nursing I wish you well. For those of you who have elected to stay in nursing I wish you continued success. For those of you who made my life a living hell while I endeavored to be a "good nurse" I offer you this:



    **Thanks to the original poster for the image above. It was the best image I could find on Google to adequately convey the message.

    Thanks for listening.

    -HBS

    Last edit by hbscott on Jan 28, '04
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    About hbscott

    Joined: Apr '03; Posts: 498; Likes: 12
    Radiology PACS & 3D Imaging

    17 Comments

  3. by   happystudent
    Did I somehow offend?
  4. by   hbscott
    Originally posted by happystudent
    Did I somehow offend?
    No, you did not (I see you got here from the other thread). If you read this post (and my other posts) carefully you will see that the issues I raise are not tied to one individual but are collective from my experience.

    You did not offend me in your last (or other) posts. It was just time for me to make a statement as I move on.

    Good Luck with your career in nursing. I hope you find it rewarding and may your experiences be joyful.

    -HBS
  5. by   zenman
    hbscott, what are you doing now? Just curious.
  6. by   hbscott
    Originally posted by zenman
    hbscott, what are you doing now? Just curious.
    I am a "Computed Radiography and Advanced Imaging Specialist" in radiology. I also do work in 3D reconstruction of CT and MRI data sets to facilitate diagnosis and treatment of difficult cases for various patient care scenarios.

    It has been a long road (sometimes joyful, sometimes painful) but I am happier now for many reasons.

    http://hometown.aol.com/hscott61/myh...e/profile.html

    -HBS

  7. by   happystudent
    I am sorry that "Nursing" has caused you so much pain thru out your career.. I do believe that whatever problem one encouters, If it doesn't kill you it can only make you stronger....
  8. by   hbscott
    Originally posted by happystudent
    I am sorry that "Nursing" has caused you so much pain thru out your career.. I do believe that whatever problem one encouters, If it doesn't kill you it can only make you stronger....
    True but it also can be said that those who have been abused in the past are in danger of becoming abusers in the future, something about the cyclical nature of human behavior patterns. No matter there are those who rise above it and those who don't.

    I try to rise above it.

    -HBS
  9. by   mattsmom81
    Originally posted by hbscott
    True but it also can be said that those who have been abused in the past are in danger of becoming abusers in the future, something about the cyclical nature of human behavior patterns. No matter there are those who rise above it and those who don't.

    I try to rise above it.

    -HBS
    I can empathize with where you are. It is easy to become cynical in this profession, and easy also to become bitter. I struggle with both these issues and try to stay above it as well.I tend to be an idealist who expects the best in people and am frequently disappointed...LOL!

    You sound like a very intelligent, interesting person and I wish you well.
  10. by   LeesieBug
    I am sorry for the crap you experienced in nursing. I think we forget that men experience harrassment, also. It can be even worse for man, as often society does not take it seriously because, hey, MEN don't get sexually harrassed.....

    My husband had some incidents similar to those you mentioned in the other thread many years ago, and had to quit his job as a result (not nursing).

    I am glad you are in a place where you are happy now.
  11. by   barefootlady
    I am truly sorry you were treated with less than the full respect and professionalism you deserved while in nursing. I usually love to work the "guys". I have experienced one to two who were for the birds, but they would not do any job well, much less nursing.
    I am glad you have found a niche you are comfortable in and one that has rewarded you so well. I wish you continued good fortune, good health, and good wishes.
  12. by   gwenith
    HBSCOTT I know what you are saying and there are reasons that the nursing culture is the way it is I have decided to fight it a different way.

    I use this forum to assist those going through bullying and horizontal violence and other types of harrassment. Sometimes all I can be is a sympathetic ear but that in itself is something.

    I lost a good friend and the profession lost a good nurse when Angela committed suicide from bullying. She was not the first or the only one. I would like to try and stop that happening again wherever and however I can.
  13. by   VickyRN
    you asked:
    the issue? i would have thought that nursing culture (i.e., the nursing profession); would have been more proactive and sympathetic on grievance redress for those issues noted above. what i found was a profession (and culture) pretty much unsympathetic to my experiences and reported concerns when grievance redress was pursued. why is that?
    my only answer is an observation... in most facilities the undertone and unspoken philosophy is don't make waves!!! .:stone if you abide by that, then you are generally left alone by tptb, but you are left to "deal with" all the problems (unsafe nurse-patient ratios, horizontal violence, abusive doctors, incompetent ancillary staff, etc, etc) on your own. if you "make waves" by bringing problems to the light, then most often you become the target (sort of a twisted "shoot the messenger" philosophy). maybe it all goes back to the 19th century "handmaiden" image. a handmaiden is just a notch above a slave, submissive to the point of abuse, and unworthy of any respect. a handmaiden just "sucks it up" and "takes" whatever comes her lowly way. tptb still has this subliminal image of us.
  14. by   hbscott
    Originally posted by gwenith
    Sometimes all I can be is a sympathetic ear but that in itself is something.
    You certainly have my utmost respect in that regard. I only wish that your friend had been able to find hope in her situation before resorting to suicide. The world is full of cruel people (not just in nursing) but is it asking too much for a "caring profession" to be a little more caring of our own?

    -HBS

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