Have you cried? - page 4

He is only 40 years old. He went to the dentist and coded. They did CPR. Sometimes that's not a good thing. He is now in a permanent vegetative state. He has a trach. His secretions are so thick... Read More

  1. by   KimiDS
    I agree with kaycee, when I stop crying, then it's time to find a new profession. I may not do it in front of patients and families, but I do cry.
  2. by   nightmoves
    I don't know the URL but you may want to check out this page: Dusty's Home Page. She is an Army Nurse Corp Vietnam veteran. I found her poetry moving as well as disturbing.
  3. by   Rosie40
    This nurse. I have one question for you. Do you feel that crying over this patient hindered your ability to do your job taking care of him? If not, then you are doing him a service. You are showing him that you care. So many times I hear from family members that "you must be "hard" to do this work". In other words unemotional. I think that doesn't work in nursing. You can't get to wrapped up emotionally, but I think you can feel for your patients. They see you as human then. I cried with many a patient and their families. Some times there is a time and place for crying. But I think that it helps also. Nursing is extremely stressful. We are dealing with a lot of issues with our patients, helping them deal with their illnesses or disease. If we keep it all in, we will self destruct
  4. by   rncountry
    thisnurse, I understand completely. First patient I cried over was 24 years old. Worked Neuro ICU. This young man had been attacked with a baseball bat. He had made the unfortunate choice of dating a young lady with a very jealous ex-boyfriend. The night I knew his brain was rupturing was perhaps one of the hardest moments I have had in nursing. What made it the most difficult though was the family refused organ donation. I felt and still feel that with one moment of anger so many lives were ruined, and even though something good could have come out of it the family simply could not bring themselves to do organ donation. Perhaps looking at some of the patients I took care of later he was the lucky one to have died.
    The other patient I will likely never forget is the 88 year old woman who tripped over her walker in the bathroom, fracturing C-1, paralyzed from the neck down. This required her to be vented. She would look at you night after night as intense as a person can and mouth to you, "Let me die, Help me die" she was not a candidate for surgery and therefore stablization of the fracture. She would never come off the vent. Eventually this case went to the ethics committee because it was clear what the patient wanted, but the husband was making decisions because the patient couldn't actually verbalize. When the ethics committee recommended that the hospital actually take this case to court as an advocate for the patient the husband relented. He held her hand and cried, and she mouthed to him that she loved him, we turned the vent off and she never took a breathe on her own. There was not a dry eye in the room. We knew, her husband knew that she was better off, but what a horrid thing and decision this man had to make.
    The ability to save lives does not always mean we should. A good cry over these patients will keep you sane.
  5. by   nightingale
    Oh you guys are gonna have me bawlin in my tea here.. I love all your caring and gentleness....

    rncountry... that was an incredible story....

    B.
  6. by   CC NRSE
    81 year old post-op open heart with failure to thrive,....typical story,...on the vent,..off the vent. finally trached last week. patient was oriented at times but according to wife has not spoken or even attempted communication since last monday (day before he was trached). today i had a student and we got him up to the cardiac chair. he was more alert today than i have seen him in three days. even smiled a little as i talked to him and cleaned his mouth. wife came in at noon and was very tearful. i asked if she was ok,...she said this is the first time since his last monday his has tried to talk to her. before i knew it,...she was gone. i received a phone call from his primary physician around 14:30 for dnr. he said when the wife arrives,...please take him off the vent, he gave me orders for mso4 and versed, and said just keep him comfortable. at 15:00 i gave mso4 and placed the patient on a trach collar. he still seemed a little restless,..so i gave versed. he settled down and i placed a chair at his bedside for his wife. i sat with her for a while (she has no other family) and listened as she talked about her life with him. she cried a little and so did i....a few friends showed up so i excused myself. i was in and out acouple more times before i left giving more mso4, versed,... and ativan. before i left he was resting comfortably. as i said goodnight,...his wife asked if i worked tommorrow,...i said i do. she said,...well,...if i don't see you again,...thank you for everything you've done, and thank you for caring............

    when i left,...he was still there,...maintaining,...but doubt he will be there in the am........

    to know i made a difference and could comfort someone in their time of need,.......that makes it all worth it........
  7. by   moonchild20002000
    thisnurse,
    I sure understand how you feel. I have been a nurse for 28 years,there have been many times I have cried. I don't really have a story to relay,there are so many I could tell you about. I have always felt that when I lost my ability to cry I would need to leave nursing.
  8. by   markdanurse
    As an ER nurse I have seen much death. A month ago, we lost a 4 month old.A year ago, we last an 8 year old to meningitis and a 9 month old to unexplained causes. Crying is ok. I cried to, on my own time. But the theme keeps recurring... at least we tried to save them. Keep crying, but do not let it debilitate you. As far as your patient was concerned, the outcome really stinks, and the best thing for the patient is to pass away. Everything in this world has an ugly side, and your experience is one of them. Take it as a lesson, keep on caring, and move on with your life (Imean this in the best way.) Good luck.
  9. by   CEN35
    well......... i have seen this post....and thought about it a few times. everybody cries at some point and time. then the one thing that hit me, from last february.

    i had a 41 year old male come into the ed with very little chest pain, diaphoretic, and feeling nauseous. he was a&ox3, with no medical hostory at all! the 12 lead showed st depression in almost every lead (3-4 mm). the cardiologist was called in and opted to take him to the cath lab. when they took him down there and started, they found a huge thoracic, aortic dissection. they stopped immidiately. while the politics at the time caused some issues related to surgery, those are irrelevant r/t this issue.
    he was taken to csicu to be held, until a helicopter could show up to transfer him out. while in csicu he started to cough and have trouble breathing....then went into a-fib (as i was there, they asked if we could come down and help). the a-fib was an indicator it was disecting through the coronary arteries towards the aortic valve. then......he started to cough and foam out the mouth......aortic valve tear now present.
    we tubed him and could not suction him out, not fast enough to keep up with the amount of fluid. needless to say......the end outcome was the worst.

    while stuff like this used to bother me, and over the last few years it doesn't. i guess kind of a "just another code attitude". except he wasn't that old.

    what's my point? i was fine through this.........until a girl showed up.....

    this girl had met him about a year before this happened. it doesn't matter how, or where they met. point is......he just got a new job he was going to start in 2 weeks. a good job, according to her.....it was the first real job (and job of his dreams) he ever had. to make the scenario even worse he had a three month old daughter with this girl. she had told me they both had been through some (in her words) "not so good relationships" in the past. they could not beleive how great they got along, and (in her words) "how perfect we we're for each other". she said they were so excited...that they were going to start a life together.

    on this thursday night at about 11:23 pm that he passed away......they we're supposed to be married on friday (yes the next day)...... and start the life they talked about and dreamed of..........

    not just another code............

    just me
  10. by   nightingale
    Hi Rick:

    How have ya been?

    ((((Cen35)))))) Thank you for sharing your story....

    Bonnie
  11. by   thisnurse
    crying did not hinder my ability to care for him. i just became overwhelmed in his helplessness. it made me feel so small and insignificant.
    hes gone now, back to the nursing home. but he will be back. his decubiti are getting worse.
  12. by   sneakyneek
    This thread had such an impact on me. I was in customer service for almost 20 years. I had a change of life/change of career & have been in nursing for 5 years now (really just a difference in commodities!).
    thisnurse has touched on an aspect that defines nursing in it's most pure & holistic sense. That is, in spite of our specialty areas, we are bound to care for the whole patient. Body, mind & soul. Who can argue the impact that emotions have on the body? How can we draw a line at simply caring for the body while the psyche is put on hold?
    I too have cried......for my patients, and with them. I have also laughed, cussed & walked with them all, as the situation has warranted. Guess what? I did the same for my customers before entering nursing. This ability, if you will, transcends job titles. It is called humanity.
    Let none of us lose sight of our human side & remember to bring it along as we travel through life.
  13. by   sneakyneek
    This thread had such an impact on me. I was in customer service for almost 20 years. I had a change of life/change of career & have been in nursing for 5 years now (really just a difference in commodities!).
    thisnurse has touched on an aspect that defines nursing in it's most pure & holistic sense. That is, in spite of our specialty areas, we are bound to care for the whole patient. Body, mind & soul. Who can argue the impact that emotions have on the body? How can we draw a line at simply caring for the body while the psyche is put on hold?
    I too have cried......for my patients, and with them. I have also laughed, cussed & walked with them all, as the situation has warranted. Guess what? I did the same for my customers before entering nursing. This ability, if you will, transcends job titles. It is called humanity.
    Let none of us lose sight of our human side & remember to bring it along as we travel through life.

close