Had to take a mental health day today. - page 2
Seriously. Haven't done that in 14 years of health care, but today I did. Had one of those weeks where yesterday I just got home and cried. Felt better but just emotionally drained. Worried that if I went in something bad... Read More
- 0Jul 14, '02 by Nurse Ratched((JurbyJunk)) You poor dears!
So glad your daughter is blocking those email addy's - now that other woman can email her hurtful filth to her heart's content - your daughter need not be hurt further.
I can't imagine the shock. Thank goodness she made out the way she did - not being tangled in a marriage with such a person - he probably would have cleaned out their joint bank account and been gone the first week. What a WEASEL!!!!!!!!
BTW - if your daughter is feeling particularly energetic, there is caselaw in the US at least where people who breach "social contracts" so to speak (not showing up for a prom date where the other part spent $ on dress, or leaving someone at the altar) can be sued for damages. Breaking off an engagement is one thing; allowing one to continue when he has no intention of marrying and letting the other party make financial sacrifices with the understanding that she will be married - well, that's quite another. I'm sure she just wants to get this behind her, but that *is* an option.
My best to you both. I'm sorry that such people exist to give the rest of the human race such a horrid name. You're a great mother - my own would have done the same .
- 0Jul 14, '02 by fiestynurseTaking a mental health day is nothing. A day off to take care of your emotional and mental well being is perfectly acceptable.
But, this can be carried to the extreme. The popular thing to do here is to take a medical leave for 30 to 60 days for "mental health" reasons. The local psychiatrists seem to be very supportive of nurses in this community and more than willing to give time off during the summer to recover from "depression." I know of two nurses out on 60 day medical leaves for mental health reasons. They both work evenings and both left within a week of each other. They are very good friends. One recently left for Chicago, while the other took care of her pets. They both have enough extended sick leave to receive a full paycheck.
In the meantime, the rest of the unit is left severely short staffed. The staff has had to work over-time and fill in for these two nurses. They are getting burnt-out! One nurse had to cancel her vacation. Agency nurses had to be called in at a great expense to management.
Of course you can't fire someone on a medical leave because they are legally protected. You don't necessarily have to keep their positions open for them, however with the nursing shortage, these nurses know that it takes months to find a replacement. They have management by the balls!
- 0Jul 14, '02 by NurseGirlKaren"fiestynurse"--I'm sorry it sounds like you got rooked by 2 of your coworkers but I was in the position of taking a leave of absence and it's THE BEST thing I ever did. I was actually in my manager's office with my letter of resignation and she suggested that I take a leave of absence instead of quitting outright. It did qualify under FMLA because my family doctor signed off on it as medical leave for anxiety. I was off for 10 weeks and did receive therapy during that time for how to deal more effectively with stressors (and I still periodically follow up with the therapist to make sure I'm on track). I was paid for I think 8 weeks of that time. I used the time to put in a transfer to a different unit within the facility and it has been a much better fit. Have been there over a year and am still very happy there. So the end result is that I got my mental health in order, and in these short times the hospital did not lose, IMHO, a darned good nurse (which they were about to do). Not to mention that the unit that I was previously in was already short staffed before I left. And as I wasn't planning on going back there, my absence was going to be felt, anyway. Not meant to be a sob story, by any means, just be careful before you jump to quick conclusions about everyone.
(And I had only taken one mental health day in my nursing career before that--at a different job--, and I don't make any apologies for that, either!)
- 0Jul 14, '02 by adrienurseLast year I took off a "mental health" month while recovering from depression, and it probably saved my life. This was no easy thing to do (especially since I was sick), because I couldn't afford to go without pay during this month I had to go all over the place getting documents signed by my doctor and government offices. I even had to drag myself into work twice (and of course had to explain myself to nosey people) and my former boss was a real witch about the whole thing. If people are taking off sick LOAs that's really none of your concern. Nursing seems to be a very depression inducing profession.
- 0Jul 14, '02 by fiestynurse"I am not jumping to conclusions about everyone" I have no problem with people taking medical LOAs for legitimate reasons and a severe anxiety or depression is legit. However, it is being grossly abused in my community. It is being used at times as a power play. One nurse had been recently asked to do something that she did not want to do. Neither employee is a "good nurse" both are low performers and the other nurses see these nurses as getting away with murder. It is a small staff of 20, and there is no transfer opportunities.
- 0Jul 14, '02 by jurbyjunkThanks to all of you for your supportive comments about my daughter. Thought would give you an update. And a good laugh.
Just saw my daughter off on the 3PM bus to Seattle to visit with her dad, grandpa and my aunt Betty, coming back Labor Day weekend.
She was busy packing and shaking her head. Rob sent her an email today, to my email address, stating that he had "decided to come clean". He's been cheating on her since last October (when he was supposed, again, to be in London, Ontario on company business), then he met Angela in March and started a relationship with her. BUT he wanted Julie to know that he was also cheating on Angela with someone else. OMG, can this boy juggle or not? "When I break up with Angie, I'll give you a call. We can get back together again". Julie shot him back an email saying "don't contact me in any way. Wait until I'm ready to contact you". As she said, a cold day in hell.
She's sending his clothes that he left here off to the Sally Ann. But she's keeping his "cow" slippers. "I like them and I might as well get something out of this relationship".
Sitting at the Greyhound station, Julie said that it was "a good thing I didn't marry him, I'd be having to share him with anything in a skirt". I think that she's turned the corner emotionally.
After her brother died 5 years ago, Julie never talked about losing him. Two years later, when she turned the exact age that he was when he died, 29 yrs 1 month 1 day, she's 22 months younger, Julie had an emotional breakdown and had to be hospitalized for 3 weeks. Emotionally, it was almost the last straw for me. I'd watch one half of my heart die physically, the other half emotionally. Her heart was breaking and so was mine.
After being on psych meds (she hasn't been on them since November 2000 after her psychiatrist told her that she could decrease them and then go off them) and going for psychotherapy, Julie had put her life back together, went back to school for music video production. She wrote a song about her love for Eric and what losing him meant for her (friends of Julie's, "Steelhorse", the #1 country music group in Europe, have recorded it on an album, sold in Euro can't get it here). After re-connecting again with Rob, she eventually felt "safe" enough to tell him that she'd had a breakdown.
One of the things that his girlfriend threw at her was that "Rob says you're a psycho and that he was afraid for his life when he was with you". Of all of the things that Rob did, that is the one that I find completely unforgiveable.
For several days, I watched my daughter's flat effect, her inability to sleep or eat, and I thought, oh God, please not again. She must have learned a lot of good coping skills in therapy, because she's turned the corner.
Julie emailed her boss, who told her to take all the time off that she needed and he'd see her when she got back.
Thanks again for letting me let it all hang out.