Gotta good "poop" story? I do. - page 7

Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him... Read More

  1. by   FutureNurse2005
  2. by   Boo439
    I had a patient who had dementia, but was the sweetest guy. He had broken his shoulder and we were transferring him from the bed to the chair. When we stood him up, he farted and said "Oh I'm so sorry I think I'm going to poop. There were 2 other aides standing him up and I was making the bed. Sure enough, I look and he's starting to poop. I had one of the aides throw me a diaper and I said "Go ahead and go honey, I'll catch it!" So he proceeds to lay a four pound turd in the diaper as I'm holding it. Yes, we weighed it. Biggest turd I've seen to this day :chuckle
  3. by   Chevelle
    Quote from roden58
    non nursing my daughter when a toddler did a poop in a tonka dump truck in back yard because her mother refered to to doing a poop as having a dump
    That is so funny:chuckle

    Kids are so rational...I love 'em!
  4. by   Truly_Blessed
    OMG, these were hilarious:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  5. by   zenman
    Too much crap here for me to read through all these. Unfortunately, my good one is about me. Remember that nurses are always the last ones to figure out what's happening with themselves! About 7 years ago, I almost passed out in the shower. Thought maybe I had a bug that was going around, plus I was driving 100 miles one way to cover for a home health branch manager who was on leave so I was tired and stressed. Almost passed out several more times, plus people at work said I looked kinda pale. Wife finally told me that I had a choice of going to the ED or a local "doc-in-a-box." Went to the doc and all labs checked out ok. On the way home as my wife went through the Wendy's drive through, I got very nauseated, dizzy and had severe intestinal cramps. I got in the back seat and laid down, telling my wife she better hurry up. The house was just a couple miles away. When we arrived, I jumped out of the car and run into the house, where I immediately passed out, hearing my wife go, "Oh, my God!" I came to right after hitting the floor and said, "I gotta use the bathroom!" Stood up and passed out again. So, I'm smart enough not to get up again so I'm lying there on my living room floor of the house that I was remodeling. The floor, which I was very proud of, had newly finished oak (I had recently pulled up the 30 year old carpet to find oak flooring that had been covered with carpet at construction). I told my wife to get a towel quick and I stripped naked. The minute she got the towel at my hindquarters, I blew out about 10 pounds of bloody stool! I then realized what my problem was! (My wife did not enjoy bagging that crap up!) She called 911 and I told her what to tell the paramedics. I propped my feet up and my wife covered me with a blanket. After arrival in the ED, I had my head down and feet up as they tried to get my BP over 70. A gastro doc placed his cold stethoscope on my chest, sending me into the hardest rigors I've ever had. They had to get warm blankets so I wouldn't shake the wheels off their gurney! My comment to him was, "thanks a lot, guy! Anyway an emergency EGD and a little epi stopped the bleeding. I had been taking a lot of Motrin! If the physician at the "doc-in-a-box" had only struck his finger up my behind things might have been different. Anyone else almost die after leaving a doctor's office and being pronounced fit?
    Last edit by zenman on Jul 22, '04
  6. by   Okla.Nurse
    You could have told her that she could name the baby "Little ****"
  7. by   Okla.Nurse
    With all the stress that we live with, I have found a source of pure enjoyment, filled with laughter, good poop stories. Thank you all very much:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  8. by   MelissaRN
    About a month ago we had this little old lady that was admitted because her humerus fracture wasn't healing secondary to her confusion and non compliance. Anywhoooo she was a very loving little lady and wanted hugs and to touch everyone all the time. In the middle of the night she apparently pooped herself and proceeded to wipe it all over her face and had it in her hands, it was everywhere. We go in to check on her and she's got this big $hit eating grin on her face and holding out her arms for a HUG. Felt bad rejecting her, but dayum she was a mess.
  9. by   charlottegirl
    I AM LMAO!!!! Thank you guys for brightening my day!!!
  10. by   DorothyAnn0403
    I've got a good one, i was very upset when my coworker told me the next night that i missed this. I was almost in tears over the story, let alone if i had actually been there.
    I work in LTC on 11-7 and we had one resident who's husband had been staying with her through the night for a few nights and had fallen asleep in the recliner in her room. The lovely little old lady across the hall had gotten out of bed, stripped off her clothes and strolled into the room across the hall that the husband was in. Turned around, and just pooped right there in front of him on the floor! Apparently he took in in stride, just rang the call light and told the aide that was on that he needed some help.

    I still giggle about it to this day because that poor man, every crazy thing must've happened while he was around. Must think he put his wife in the loony bin! But at least he comments to us often, "Now i know that you really do do things on the overnight shift! Never see stuff like this during the day!"
  11. by   Piki
    I know this thread is years old but I do have a quick poop story (don't we all). This one I call "The Phantom Poop"

    Took care of an elderly gentleman, totally A&O, maybe a tad forgetful, but he was a post-TURP getting the continuous bladder irrigation. When we have the CBI, the aides put the white buckets to empty out the foley since those bags can get filled pretty darn quickly. Anyhoo, had been in to see my patient and emptied out the bag, put the white bucket back by the foley bag. Next time I came in to check on my patient, I couldn't find the white bucket anywhere. Finally, I caught a whiff of something not quite right. There, tucked way under the bed, much like in days of yore, was the said bucket with a ball of poop in it. Hmmmmm. I asked the pt if he had moved his bowels. He denied it to high heaven, even tho the evidence was clear. He was "quite certain" he did not move his bowels whatsoever, and that poop was definitely "not his!"

    Unless we had another pt roaming the hallways and pooping in containers left by other pt's beds..... until then, we'll just call that "the phantom poop". We all got a huge laugh out of it. I do recall charting about his BM and stating pt denied having BM despite evidence to the contrary... lol
  12. by   Price 2002
    I love this...I am sitting here eating dinner and reading this to my very grossed out family and I am lovin it!!:chuckle

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