Gotta good "poop" story? I do. - page 6
Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him... Read More
Jun 15, '02HEY WILDEMAN OR WIZEGUY (whatever you are calling yourself these days): BOY DO YOU GET AROUND. NOW IT'S POOP STORIES. HERE IS AN EARLY BIRTHDAY SONG FOR YOU:
Happy poo poo to you.
You live in a zoo.
You smell like a monkey.
And you look like one too.
Am sure the folks here just love your posts!!!!!
Jun 15, '02originally posted by whisper
lol and i really mean it, one of my house mates came to check that i was okay, or if i had lost my marbles!! i love the turd monster story. the only one i can think of is with a demtia pt who would drop their pants in the middle of the corridor or walk up to you to give you a present! i never knew it was possible to put on gloves so quickly.
where there is chocolate there is hope
Jun 15, '02And who says nursing humor is warped?
I'll call this a poop scare story. I work with LTC residents with dementia. We had a new resident a few months ago who was having some, how should i say, behavioral concerns while adjusting to the unit. It had been one of those long days and I was in need of a little comic relief at the time, when I came accross a brown smear that lead down the hall and around a corner. I cautiously followed the trail which led into a resident room. Lying on a bed sleeping was another resident who was covered from the feet to waist and all the surrounding linen in a brown substance. I couldn't help but shreak out in laughter when I realized that the brown substance was only chocolate pudding. Apparently the sleeping resident had not even woken up while he had been fingerpainted. The "behavioral concerns" resident seemed to feel better after completing her artistic endevor. ART THERAPY?
Jun 16, '02When I was in, I was not very good at doing patient care because I hadn't ever worked as an aide.
One day I was cleaning up a lady who'd had a large loose bowel movement on a pad. While holding her on her side with one hand, I yanked the messy pad out from under her with the other hand. Poop went FLYING across the room, landing in big splats all over the floor.
At that very moment, my nursing instructor walked in. She walked all over the room tracking that poop around. I didn't want to tell her..didn't want her to see my incompetence..so I just let her keep walking in it! Of course she finally noticed....wasn't very happy with me!
Jun 16, '02Well, this discussion has finally inspired me to register so I can contribute. Post #1!!
Why aren't any of these kinds of things highlighted on those Johnson and Johnson "I'm A Nurse" commercials?
Somebody already mentioned the c. diff smell. Once you know it, you can pick it out again right away. The smell AND the look!
My first memorable poop patient was a demented tele patient that I walked to the bathroom during my first year as a nurse. She sat on the toilet yelling "Ow, it hurts, it hurts!" Pooped a couple hard little chunks, thought she was done, walked her back to bed. She said it still hurt "there". Me, being the naive nurse that I was, thought I'd take a look. She was about 10 cm and crowning--stool! That was my first manual disimpaction. Had a couple handfuls worth by the time I was done.
Had an ICU patient that I weaned off sedation and extubated. His first raspy, whispered words to me were "I need to have a bowel movement." I was surprised to hear that! Stuck a bedpan under him and out came a huge cow patty. It made that doink sound as it was dumped from bedpan to toilet. He was never incontinent of stool that whole week he was intubated--was saving it for me!
And why is it that my family members think they have to describe their B.M.'s to me? Is it just me?
Finally, (now remember, there's not much that can gross me out anymore) I am unable to even look at that green ketchup that they have now. My husband was kind enough to sqeeze some of it out of a packet at a fast food restaurant and proceed to dip his french fries in it!! It bears way too much resemblance to that soft green tube feed stool to me.
Sorry I got so carried away--you've hit a nerve!!
Jun 16, '02I worked as a CNA in a nursing home while I was in. One day when I entered a patient's room, I saw a row of little brown balls about the size of marbles on the window sill. I really wasn't sure what they were until I got a little closer. Yup! it was a row of little turd balls drying in the sunshine. Looked like it would have made good slingshot ammo. :chuckle
Jun 17, '02man...this stuff cracks me up! I had a teacher tell me once...and she swears this is true...that a psych patient came in, and amond psych problems also compained f blly pain and constipation. I guess they did a digital exam, no poop there...so they ran some xrays..and sure enough there was stool there...but mixed in with the stool were big ball looking things that they couldn't figure out. They finally got the guy to admit that he had been swallowing barbie doll heads! He said that he would get good erections when he passed them!!! Gross huh? She swears it happened!
I've seen the big long boa constrictor stools that result from enemas....and even have a lady once who got a fleet, and then was sitting on a bedside commode...all the sudden one of the EMT's (our CNA's in the ER) came up and told me that she thinks my patient pulled her catheter out or her IV...the thing is my patient had neither. so I go in the room, and my patient is yelling I pulled it out..I pulled it out! I had to ask her what she was talking about....turns out, she had got some tissue and when the poop got stuck was able to disimpact herself and was freaking out....it took me like 15 minutes to calm her down.
I also had an old lady in the ER who came in for constipation from taking a lot of percocet. She brought a stool sample wrapped in tissue in her purse to show us the pills were coming out whole in her stool! Now that is something I would never expect to find in a purse!!!!
Jul 21, '04That one is pretty funny but I think I can top it....I was also admitting a young executive type and needed to get a urine speciman from him so I handed him a small speciman cup and a urinal....he was taking a really long time so when I finally checked back in the bathroom I could hardly contain my laughter as I found a small speciman cup of urine and a urinal full of BM....as I walked out of the bathroom, he says, "sorry it took so long, I was constipated.." I couldn't bear to tell him that the jug I gave him was a urinal, I guess you can never asume a patient will know what a urinal is for.
Quote from st4304Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him and asking him such personal questions about, you know, his bowel patterns and such. However, I remained professional and we got through the admission. His admitting diagnosis was bowel related and I had an order to do an occult stool. Soooooooo, I asked in my most professional tone that he save his next bowel movement for the nurses to check and I placed a hat in the commode.
A couple of hours went by when his call light came on. When I entered his room, his face was very red. He had had a bowel movement and had saved it for me. I thanked him and entered the BR. There sitting in the middle of the hat was the perfect turd -- it looked just like a Dairy Queen large, chocolate cone -- even with the little curly-q on top! :chuckle It was hilarious. Of course, my professionalism when out the door and I teased him unmercifully. He ended up having a great sense of humor, thank God!
Also, anyone ever have any experiences with exploding colostomy bags in the middle of the night after housekeeping has gone home? Just wondering. I have. :wink2:
Jul 21, '04Oh these are SOOOOO funny.... only nurses would see the humor in Poop!
I once took care of an elderly man, totally alert and oriented, but always stuck his hands where the sun don't shine. I spent 2 hours soaking, scrubbing, picking etc, his fingernails.... stuff must have been there from 1932!
We all know that little old people are obsessed with their "bowels" - but my best friend's grandma takes the cake. She actually keeps a BM diary... records time, size, consistency, color, difficulty passing etc. Won't leave home without it.... "just in case there is an emergency you know... doctors need this information"
Jul 21, '04I am a PCA (glorified nurses aid) as I say, and one day I had a patient with a belly surgery. No problem right??? Wrong! She was my first patient I went to see that evening and it looked like an atom bomb went off. She had that lovely liquid stool. It looked like she just pulled up her gown and let it fly. It was on the bed, floor, chair, wall, anything that was within shooting distance. As soon as I got it all cleaned up guess what???? It would happen again. I couldn't even get a sample for the lab for c-dif because she never could make it to the toilet. I swear if it was one time it was 5. To put a spin on it, it took me three hours to get a house keeper up there to mop. They won't mop up poop. Just after you have tried your best to clean it up. Needless to say that was a night to remember.
Jul 21, '04Ahhh....that good old explosive diarrhea. This thread is two years old but oh so funny.
One of my first patients was an old fellow who was just confused, wondering all over the room, constantly getting out of bed sitting on the commode. Took a while for me to figure out he was constiptated so I gave him a laxative and was going to give him an enema.
Then I hear, him "Oh Lord, Please help me Jesus, uuuuuhhhhgggg! Help me lord, help me Jesus." I walk in the room he's laying on his side, I walk up and I swear a large grapefuit sized impaction flies out about two feet, followed by rivers and rivers of loose stool. "Thank you Jesus! Praise the Lord! You know the Lord Helped me get that out".
Go tell it on the mountain, the Lord does his work in mysterious ways. After that he was calm, cool, collected and slept like a baby.
Jul 21, '04My worst BM story...
Well in our facility we serve PABA-its this nasty mix of Prunes, apples and Bran (never have figured the last A). Any way A&O residents, scream when they see it coming.
But here I was on the dementia unit. I was orianting another nurse, and had a little extra time, so I cleaned the fridge. Me not thinking, pulled all the old or unlabled 8 oz bowls of this stuff out of the fridge and set them on the top of the dinner cart to go back to the kitchen.
About an hour later a housekeeper says something about the fact that there is "brown stuff all over the unit and its not BM"
I think "uh-oh" the bells have started to go off that some of these folks will eat anything.
We follow the trail and find one lady is responsible for the whole thing, but that now the Poop is flowing.
The CNAs all said "UH UH you made the mess you fix it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" so I spent the rest of the shift cleaning up this woman. and she was one of those demented folks who never stops walking so you just chase them with the wipes around the unit trying to clean them up.