Gotta good "poop" story? I do. - page 5

Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him... Read More

  1. by   YukonSean
    Katana
    Perhaps they should search for your turd monster (serpentis faecesentis) in Loch Ness.
  2. by   amber munchkin
    I dont think my story compares with those already posted, but it was hysterical at the time...I work on NICU and we had a baby who was fairly well, so I let my student change her nappy (diaper) unfortunately, the baby had a bit of an upset stomach and when the student lifted the baby's legs to put the clean nappy underneath her, the pressure on the baby's abdomen was too much and her bottom seemed to explode....you have never seen so much brown liquid come from such a small body under such pressure in your life!!!!!!!!!!!!! The poor student had such a look of shock on her face that I just collapsed in a heap! Luckily for the rest of the room, the baby was in an incubator so the explosion was contained. It took me several minutes to compose myself enough to help the student put the baby in a clean incubator and I spent the rest of the shift relapsing into giggles every time I looked at the student or baby...I dont think she will be choosing NICU as her speciality after qualifying!
  3. by   REDWOMANRN
    WELL, ABOUT A YEAR AGO, WE WERE TAKING CARE OF AN 70ISH YEAR OLD MAN WITH A LBKA. HE HAD BEEN CONSTIPATED!!! IMAGINE!!!!! WELL, HE WAS A GRUMP ANYWAY AND WE NEEDED TO REPOSITION HIM. AS THE AIDE AND I WERE TRYING TO ROLL HIM...HE SAID,"OH, OH, OH...YOU BETTER WATCH OUT IT IS COMING!!!!!!" AND AS WE ROLLED HIM OVER IT ALL LITERALLY FLEW OUT. I HAD TO MOVE BACK FAST!!!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY..THE AIDE AND I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING AND SOON THE PATIENT WAS LAUGHING JUST AS HARD!! WE HAD TO CLEAN THE PT, THE BED AND THE FLOOR!!! THANK GOD HE DIDN'T GET ME!!!!!!!!
  4. by   Rottie1
    Good Grief! I can't believe how much I have been laughing reading all of these poop stories! I am holding my breath as if I were there doing all the clean up myself!
    One memorable poop story was when I was working in the ED as a PCT we had a fairly frequent flyer: female, with lower limb paralysis, and 400+#s, but could have been over 600 (that is what my memory is telling me). Of course she was constipated and again of course the ED Doc orders a SSE and of course the PCTs get to do the honors. It was very smelly to say the least. The memoralble part was when her daughters (after being gone for the "treatment" ) came back with two mini rose bushes for the nice PCTs who endured everything they would not do at home. The sad part is I had to do this same patient/treatment once more during the 2 years I worked there. Oh and I still have the little rose bush in my flower bed! Something to remember her by.:roll
  5. by   moonrose2u
    i have laughed myself silly with all these wonderful poop stories-are we demented or what? say, do ya think these little demented patients who poop on themselves, other people and on strange objects were nurses at one time?

    poop...i hate to clean it! i admit, i will give kao to keep the poop from coming on my shift! i can clean anything without gagging, but poop makes me ill!! if i smell horrendous poop, i will will smell it for days afterwards...hell, i even don't like to smell my own!

    had a pt. in tele who pooped on the floor (not to mention himself and his bed and chair) and spread it out on the floor like a layer of chocholat icing on a cake....how did he do it? he used his iv pump wheels as the spatula...god, it was awful.

    you guys are too funny!!:roll
  6. by   RN-PA
    I'm embarrassed to say how much I've enjoyed and laughed so hard at these poop stories; my hubby loves 'em, too!

    When I worked night shift 8 years ago, I once had a patient in his early 90's, confused, heavy Italian accent, and we'd poseyed him in bed because he kept trying to get out unassisted. He was started on a bowel prep for a colonoscopy on evening shift and had had no bm's for a few hours. I checked on him frequently, tried to explain that he needed to call us to help him when he needed to use the bedside commode, and thought he understood how to use the callbell. I was at the nurse's station charting when all of a sudden I heard this loud yell: "AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" followed by the thud of a body hitting the floor and then the crash of equipment. We ran in to find the man lying in and covered in liquid stool. The floor was awash in it, and his IV pump/pole had crashed down next to him-- thank goodness it didn't hit him-- and his IV never even got pulled out! Because he was barefoot, we couldn't get much traction to help him stand up since he was sliding in the poop, but somehow we managed to get him into a wheeled shower chair and hosed him down in the shower. What a nightmare!
  7. by   YukonSean
    Moon rose,
    Around here, we refer to that phenomenon as "finger-painting".
    I recently had one confused fellow add some frank red to the chocolate: He yanked out the Foley, with 30 cc still in the balloon.
  8. by   BLCaldwell
    I have laughed so hard... reading the comments to the different perspectives of poop. It has brought back so many memories of why I now work in psych.

    While working as a visiting nurse.....had a private MD who use to have his little old southern ladies that would get constipated and would go to his office for him to resolve their "little problem".
    Well, he was a gallant soul, really felt bad for those dear sweet old ladies who would get relief but had to bring a change of clothes in with them. EUREKA--- he discovered home health.... private pay of course. He would call with a diagnosis of brown eyes, and the dear, sweet little old ladies would have a house call to resolve their severe constipation....had standing orders. A regular protocol to follow to resolve their "little problem".

    Nobody ever said Nursing was dull that's for sure.....
  9. by   brassdragon
    don't you hate it when you walk out of a patient's room and someone says 'hey you have sh*t on your shirt" and you are thinking it's just a thread or piece of paper.

    Also had one from some old little lady the size of a football
  10. by   deespoohbear
    I had a male patient once that pooped in the plastic 6 ounce water cup that was on his bedside table. He proceeded to put the cup on his lunch tray. Thankfully, one of our nurses found the cup before it went to the kitchen. We would have never heard the end of that one! The old man did a good job of hitting the cup!

    The other poop story concerns me and another nurse. One afternoon I was asked to go with an elderly pt to X-ray. She was an ER pt and a nurse needed to go with her because she was heavily medicated and on a monitor. Anyway, I get over to Xray with her. They have her on the exam table, and she quickly proceeds to poop. All the way down to her ankles. The xray techs were about ready to upchuck. I called the ER nurse to come and help me clean her up. The other nurse was kind of ticked off at me because she thought I was just being lazy. She changed her mind when she got to xray and saw the table and patient covered in poop, and the xray techs no where to be found. :imbar That lady takes the cake for me!
  11. by   wildezmanznurze
    My worst nasty poops story!

    During my first year as a nurse, half of which was as a GN, I was sent to Siberia on the night shift on a tele unit.

    So one night a tele alarm goes off due to lost signal.

    I go to the patient's room immediately, of course. The lights were dim. As I entered the doorway, I could see the woman standing by the bed. It seemed she would fall, and was coming towards me.

    She was, I recall, elderly and slightly confused. We had her in wrist restraints.

    So, I naturally lunge forward to catch her in my arms. The lady grabs on to me in a warm bear hug.

    Sadly, that was not the only thing that was "warm." One of my partner nurses coming in just behind me hits the lights just as I catch the patient. I could feel something being smeared on me and it did not smell good.

    So as the lights go on, we find that the old lady is smeared in feces all over her face, chest, arms and hands...

    ...and so am I!

    So much for my nursing "initiation."
  12. by   wildezmanznurze
    THE SOAPS SUDS ENEMA REVENGE!

    I recall this one nutcake that use to come into the er alot on night shift always complaining of not being able to poop.

    He always came in dressed in cowboy boots, designer jeans, western shirt and a cowboy hat.

    He claimed to be a former western singer.

    We had a routine with this clown. Two fleets enemas, a touch of MOM and, of course, a bedside comode, and run for the hills.

    We soon concludedthat he seemed to enjoy this "attention" for his supposed constipation. He was particularly happy when a pretty female nurse took care of him. This was often doable as part of our er initiation rights for new and float staff.

    THe horror part of this clown was who would be the one to empty the commode - which he insisted upon to be at the bedside! Oh, no, he couldn't just hold it until he made it to the bathroom!

    We all would do almost anything to avoid the duty of commode policing!

    One night, we figured this pain in the arse came to "visit" with us with his "problem" just once too often.

    We suggested soap suds enemas until clear to the good doctor on duty, and he was happy to obligue us.

    The good gentleman got two back to back SSE's. The results were excellent. He never came back again!

    Yee haa!
  13. by   deespoohbear
    I had a patient once who was constipated. I had given the pt a suppository, placed the pt on the bedpan, and informed my CNA. I asked the CNA to tell me if and when the pt had a BM. A few moments went by and the pt's call light went on. The CNA went into the room to tend to the pt. The CNA came back out after a few minutes and proceeded to describe the BM for me. This pt was pretty constipated and the BM had come out in small balls about the the size of malted milk balls. The CNA had actually counted each "turd" in the bedpan. When she told me the number (I think it was 15 or something close), I about fell off the chair. Probably most descriptive, accurate wording of BM I have ever heard.

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