Gotta good "poop" story? I do. - page 2

Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him... Read More

  1. by   Jay Levan
    Once a long long time ago I had a 400#er, of the female variety Admitted for dx; R/O Bowel Obstruction. Abdomen very distended (Very Hard to tell on this patient!) When palpated, I could feel bowel that was round and hard, and could practically grab a section. Abdominal series showed feces throughout large and small bowel. Well after 24hr Observation, it was time to attempt disimpaction She had two doses of Magnesium Citrate, four fleets enemas(2 regular, and 2 Oil retention) and as a topper 2- HHH enemas (H-igh, H-ot, H-eck of a lot) with very little return. Began by inserting two fingers, then three, and eventually my entire hand, eureka :uhoh21: began having significant return, rolled patient on her back on bedpan, after about 5min. Patient states, "I can feel it getting on me!" Turned her on her side, bedpan full to the rim cleaned her bottom and padded rectum, while I emptied first bedpan. Returned and replaced bedpan under patient, about 5min elapsed again and she informed me it was getting on her again. Emptied second bedpan using same procedure, and replaced her on bedpan for the third time, I sumised this should be the last one, went to answer another call light in my section, and was on the way back to check this impacted lady's progress, her light came on, I walked into room and there was doo doo ca ca poo poo from about midline of bed all the way to the foot of the bed. I really didn't measure it or weigh it, the best estimate I could muster was approximately 25# of poo poo This particular case was the motivation for obtaining a specialty other than Med/Surg.
  2. by   fedupnurse
    Isn't it amazing how much poop can be in there without the person exploding!!!! I love it when you finally disimpact someone and the next few shifts you are off and someone gives the pt. lomotil or Kao-Pectate or something like that. Isn't that how this problem started in the first place???????
  3. by   SOCRATES SOUL
    Ahhhhhhh the good old poopsies!! :roll

    I really like the 'Hansel and Gretel' type of ****, you know the type where they leave a trail...and not the breadcrumbs type either!.....often a good way to find wandering demented patients too I have found quite a few this way......:chuckle

    One story that comes to mind is one morning whilst getting out a shatted all over himself dementia patient with another nurse, we were flat out and quickly transfered him onto the commode chair........andway as she was wheeling him off with him doing a 'Hansel and Gretel' on us, I was bundling up all the soiled linen and then proceeded to squirt Methylated spirits to clean the mattress and in walked a professor with his med studets, he knew us nurses well and he just burst out laughing at the scene that was unravelling before him......his med students were mortified at the amount of shat all over the place, and after he composed himself after this hystericaly funny scene he turned to the students and said 'Well this is the reality of the trenches'....... this still makes me and my fellow friend nurse laugh, you had to see it........

    Hehehehe what about those Coprophilliacs, even better the ones that Coprophagia........yummy!!

    Now theres a good pick up line....."Im a coprologist, let me have a dig around and see what I come up with".......:chuckle
  4. by   l.rae
    once, many moons ago, (a full one no doubt}, a dementia patient wandered off from our ecf. we didn't even know she was gone until the convenience store next door called. appearently, an elderly confused women was wandering about the store in a gown...........which she just lifted up and pooped on the bread rack.........lr:chuckle
    Last edit by l.rae on May 30, '02
  5. by   suzannasue
    Had been off for a few days ...my co-workers,knowing how I love "unique poop"...told me of a pt who was having "silver stools"....I said "yeah right"...so,when the pt called for the bedpan,Iwent to her room anticipating the arrival of the alleged silver stool. Sure enough,her poop resembled chrome...it was shiny silver...I got a sample and sent it to the pathologist who started to freak,even called UPS to send it to DUKE University to have afriend of his look into the cause of the stool being shiny. I went back to the pts room, and we just started talking about life in general. I complimenetd her in being able to keep her lipstick in place all day..she said " I don't wear lipstick" I said,"well it looks like you are wearing lipstick,your lips are pink" She said, "well I don't wear lipstick,never have. I giuess the color comes from this..."....she reached into her bedside table...with the explanation... "my dentures have always made my gums sore and I've been putting this medicine on my gums for more than 30 years" ...she produced a bottle of mercurochrome...
    I called the pathologist and he came and talked to the patient...we the had to do the "heavy metal " labs and sure enough,she had toxic level of mercury in her system....what is the saying "mad as a hatter"?...yeppers...she was on another plane of existence...but at least she was pleasant.
    Post script... Duke University found high level of mercury in stool sample...duh... ...they wanted her to be studied in the name of science....luckily the pathologist said "no"...she said "hell no" they even wanted her after demise for research...
  6. by   blitz
    Silver poop? Wild!
    Many years ago working in rehab, my tech and I had the questionable pleasure of giving a SSE to an elderly lady who hadn't had a BM in "weeks". So armed with the bucket, fluid, K-Y jelly, gloves, gowns and shoe covers we started the deed. The patient was on her side and all seemed to be going well when she screamed "I can't take any more"!!! With that she immediately gave a good grunt. All I could do at that point was watch as I saw a perfect parabola of poop arc across the room and land directly on my techs' gown! It looked as though she was being bombed! Someone else pointed out that it's awfully hard to apologise when you're laughing your a-- off!!!! It's so hard to maintain that 'professional edge' sometimes!:roll
  7. by   SmilingBluEyes
    This is not nursing related but I have a cute one. My ds was potty training at 2.....and it was HECK getting him to poop in his potty.....matter of fact, he went 2 or 3 days before finally having to go. When he did, he screamed from the bathroom:

    ********"MOMMY COME QUICK...I MADE A SNAIL!!!!" ******** And sure enuf, was a snail-like black turd in his potty...it was too funny. From that point on, til he was like 6, he used to tell us he had to "make snails" in order to ask to use the bathroom.....a fairly nice euphemism when in public!!!!
  8. by   bellehill
    Very funny stories...only nurses could appreciate.

    I had a pt who was scheduled for a colonoscopy so we did the enema and bowel prep liquid the night before. Trick was this woman had no control over her anal sphincter due to a spinal cord injury. Not only could she not tell when she was going, she couldn't control it. I will never forget watching her walk down the hall, turning around to tell me she "had a problem". The problem was diarrhea running down her leg onto the floor. Isn't nursing fun? :spin:
  9. by   finallyRN
    These stories are why i no longer work on Med Surg. I see enough of it on labor and delivery for my liking.
  10. by   LasVegasRN
    Ahhhhh, Poop de la Poo Poo. Yes, I was known as the rectal pouch Queen at one time. Had my technique perfected: heat in microwave for 15 seconds, apply stomapaste to edge, stomahesive to buttocks, apply wafter while warm, paper tape to edges and SQUEEZE butt cheeks together for 3 minutes. They NEVER came off or leaked.

    Debbie - you remind me of my potty training with my daughter. She's the one you may hear in a public bathroom yelling "MOMMY, I HAD A BOWEL MOVEMENT, PLEASE COME AND WIPE ME, IT'S GREEN." :imbar
  11. by   RN-PA
    I posted this poop story on the "What freaks you out" thread http://allnurses.com/forums/showthre...=&pagenumber=1 back in January and it is so similar to st4304's post that I thought I'd repeat it here.

    I was a new nurse working Med/Surg and was changing the diaper of an elderly CVA patient with the help of a PCT. It took us a LOOOOONG time to change his stool-filled diaper and all the bedding. We finally got him cleaned up and were replacing his diaper when, suddenly, stool started coming out like Dairy Queen soft-serve. Definitely not wanting to start the cleaning process over, I quickly shoved my cupped (gloved) hands beneath his anus and caught the extruding mass. I promise you, there was practically a curlicue on top! I then heaved it in the trash can while trying not to gag. :stone
    Last edit by RN-PA on May 30, '02
  12. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    I work with babies, so all of my poop stories are pretty mundane. Did find a cool smiley though!



    Heather
  13. by   RNinICU
    I got pulled to a med surg floor one night, and during first rounds, discovered an awful smell in one patients room. The bed was full of liquid stool, and the lady was covered from her waist down, even between her toes. There was poop all over the side rails, and a atrail of poop to the bathroom. There were footprints in the poop. In the bathroom, there was poop in the sink, on the floor, and all over the sides of the commode. She must have started to go in the bed, got up to go into the BR, pooping all the way, then tried to go in the sink instead of the commode. She stepped in it going back to bed, then just climbed back into the messy bed. Her husband, who was spending the night with her because she was confused, was sleeping in a chaiar by the bed, and slept through the whole thing. It took me an hour to clean it up, with no help from the floor staff. I have refused to go back to that floor ever since.
    Another time I was putting a lady back into bed with a hoyer lift. The pad had slipped, so there was just the sling under the patient. As we were lifting her out of the chair, she started to go, and it came through the webbing of the sling. It looked like play dohbeing extruded through a mold. We could not stop laughing. Was a heck of a mess to clean up.

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