Good Bye to Nursing for me... - page 4

Well, the start of a new year and I'm kissing nursing good bye after only 5 short months. I graduated in may and started at a hospital in august. My very first preceptor was a nightmare, on my... Read More

  1. by   MimismomRN
    I understand how you feel, truly. I have felt the same. I am 49 and have only been an LVN since Nov. 2005. I have worked in med surg for 9 months now and am also finishing my prereqs to become an RN. Some days I feel like why am I putting myself through all this stress. I have 11 to 14 patients on a team nursing at my hospital and it is overwhelming. But I love caring for people and someday want to teach nursing because I feel I have a big heart and could help other students and not be the drill seargent type instructor I have seen. Some nurses are really mean to the new ones and I never want to be like that. Others are supporting and caring and I thank God for them. I am going to keep plugging along as I feel as though if I can get through this first year at this job I can do anything and anything will be better after this. Keep your license current as after you have rested you can find a job where you are not demeaned and are appreciated. I am hoping for that job also. I worked in law for 25 years and do not want to go back to a desk job. Although this is really hard, I pray for strength from God each day to get me through it. I too deal with the stress and anxiety while going through menopause right now and it's really tough. But I cannot give up after working so hard to get through school at this age and still with more school to do. Please don't give it up all together. Take a vacation for now. We need good, caring nurses. I have seen too many in my short career now who aren't and who should not be. Happy new year to everyone and God Bless.
  2. by   Tweety
    Good luck!!

    When you do not need the money, it's hard to imagine putting up with that, and I'm glad you didn't.
    Last edit by Tweety on Jan 2, '07
  3. by   BrandyNP
    Quote from silly1982
    hey, this is from my thread "never give up"

    never give up!
    last october of 2005, i started an or program here in vancouvercanada. i came into a situation where the instructor bullied me, criticized me, ignored me, laughed at me. it was a horrible 5.5 months of dreading going into class/the or, crying, feeling stupid, questioning myself. to make things worse this instructor put me into an or room with her two friends who always yelled at me, belittled me, and made nasty comments....right in front of the doctors and other students.

    i was told things such as, "you've had it easy haven't you? you've had it easy all of your life" (implying i'm spoiled), she laughed at me with her favorite pet student, made things up about my performance or had expectations that she did not for the other students, she was sweet to the other students and ignored me in conversations, she would hug the other students and chat/laugh with them, even at one point went for dinner with them...minus me of course.

    even when i did very well or knew things the other students did not, my failures were highlighted instead...right in front of the other students. i would receive feedback right in front of the other students, "...you really need to improve ...you're lacking...bla bla bla ". in front of the other students, she even told me that the instructors and her feel that i am arrogant...when i started crying she changed the topic. the list is so long, needless to say, my confidence was down to 0.

    two weeks before graduation i was blamed for an incident that happened in the room....for a mistake the anesthetist and the circulating nurse made...because i did not notice this mistake, i was informed i would not get my certificate at the same as the other students did, but instead receive it sometime during my year commitment to the hospital. (this wouldn't even be a guarantee).

    that same week, two weeks before graduation, my instructor put her friend into my room, an instructor from another school who didn't work in my or or ever interact with me. this woman started yelling at me, she delayed surgery while all the surgeons stood sterile watching as i had to prep a patient over and over again. at one point the doctor himself said its enough, the prep is done, however this woman wouldn't budge telling everyone i had to do it the right way. with tears in my eyes i looked up at the or door and saw my instructor standing there with a smug grin on her face. she was enjoying ever moment.

    at that moment, i looked her friend in the face, stated the following, "i do not deserve to be treated like this, you are a cruel to me and i've had enough of this, i quit" ....and i left the or that moment and never returned.

    it was a horrible experience, two other students out of 12 also quit this program one finding her instructor difficult and the other simply did not want to be an or nurse after everything she went through. i should have gone to the union. however i was so unhealthy and sad after five months of hell, i had to get my sleep back on schedule, eat healthy, workout, and start feeling good about myself.

    after much thought, i realized that that particular or and instructor were not right for me. it wasn't me; it was the whole situation and instructor.

    after quitting i took six months off, was accepted into a masters program in a area outside of nursing, but decided that i couldn't just start something new without doing my or certificate...proving to myself that i can do it and am good enough....the woman, the instructor made me feel like a complete failure.

    so i went back and did a three month course on my own. in fact, i moved to a whole new city across the country to do this program. everyone there loved me and treated me so well. it validated to me that i am not stupid (as the or teacher had told me) and that i can be an excellent or nurse.

    i am so proud of myself. i just got the certificate in the mail. 14 months after i had started the original or program. to anyone out there, students and nurses alike ...never give up, don't let one or two nurses/instructors decide what your future will be like and please, never let anoyone tell you who you are.

    never give up, only you know what you are capable of. love yourself and respect yourself, others will too if you set boundaries in the way you want to be treated. also, always document document document situations and report situations...even if it's off the record...so someone more objective and outside of the situation is aware.


    never give up.

    cheers




    now, during and after this happened...i thought thats it...no more nursing. i applied for various programs and got into law, journalism and masters programs...

    you can do alot with your nursing degree...go do research, get your masters, teach, work at a doctors office, work for a hospital equipment/supplies comapany...god its endless and you don't have to earn less than if you were working in the hospital. in fact, medical sales...you can earn over 100,000 with salary and comission.

    many nurses are horrible. i have seen it over and over again...even while in nursing school so many teachers were outright b**ches. i have no idea why so many nurses are like this, but it should be stopped.

    before you leave, let those nurses know what they have done!! and when you come back, find an area with less stress and better people!
    omg! i was furious when i read your post! this reminded me of getting my bsn at a public university in texas. there were 38 students who started the program and only 16 of us actually graduated! it was pure hell! i saw all types of student abuse, in fact, one of the professors actually grabbed a student and left bruises on her forearms! there were 3 lawsuits filed against the school (this was the early 90's) and all three were settled out of court. two weeks before graduation, an attorney came and talked to our class. he asked us if people had been discriminated against, i told him that we were all treated equally and horribly! i graduated at the top of my class, but i didn't go to graduation nor to their stupid pinning ceremony. i attended a private university to get my master's degree and i was treated extremely well (you get what you pay for)! i waited for years before going back to get my np degree and that was only because i was terrified of having to experience the same type of treatment i received in my undergraduate training.
  4. by   NurseRachy
    I'm sorry to read that you have had a bad time in nursing. These issues are identical in nursing world-wide! I can fully identify with your issues expressed and they are very similar to reasons why i have decided to leave the profession at only the end of my 2nd year of practice as an RN. It really is a shame that people like us are leaving. I have rotated through various areas of nursing at various establishments and the bullying, backstabbing and horizontal violence is all too common. It is not healthy or satisfying when you are working under constant intimidation. Out of 10 of my nursing friends from uni I am the 8th leaving the profession. I will be doing temping positions for over $12 an hour MORE than i got when casual nursing!!!! AND this is admin duties with a tenth of the stress! SO - good luck with your baby - your future is bright.
    You do not need to work as a nurse if you don't want to. Your skills are transferable - when one door closes another immmediately opens.
    All the best,
    Rachel
  5. by   TinyNurse
    Congrats on being pregnant!

    I'm just so sad that we have to say goodbye to another RN because of the same ole' "toxic environment" on a unit. Some environments in the hospital are like this, and they make me want to leave too. Please know that not all units/hospitals are like this.

    I agree with some of the other posters, keep your license up, maybe look for a different area of nursing after you get your family started. That is one of the beauties of nursing........lots of options!

    Best of luck to you girl!
  6. by   julia1
    Just to let you know that I too have felt like leaving nursing many times, but this has always been my dream ( since 2 nd grade). I have been a nurse for 17 years and there are days that I feel like I am overwhelmed but then there are days that I feel like it is the greatest job in the world. Take some time off enjoy your baby and then think about all of your options: home health ( if you look sometimes there is a family that needs a really good nurse to help them with their sick child-some one dependable that loves nursing but hates the other mean nurses) I worked for a family just like that for two years made 20.50 a hour; one patient and no pyscho nurses. Just know that if I was training you I would show you the same respect and kindness that I show my patients. Don't give up,there will be a place for you in nursing I promise !!!!!
  7. by   incublissRN
    I'm sorry to hear about your rough start. Congratulations on the pregnancy and enjoy your break! I hope that you will eventually find your niche and a supportive environment.
    Last edit by incublissRN on Jan 2, '07 : Reason: typo
  8. by   glb1960
    Options, healer27, options. The key here is that you have a zillion options as a RN!!!! Home care, hospice, urgent care, peds, geriatric, school, correctional, cardiovascular, temp staff, heme/onc, psych, rehab, clinics of all kinds, triage, chart review, legal nurse consultant, telephone interviewer for an insurance company, emergency, donor coordinator, OR, pre & post surgical and on and on and on. The local sunday paper here has 2 - 3 PAGES of nursing positions. And they are usually just the leadership positions. Most places don't even bother to advertise for floor staff.

    The point many of us here are trying to make is that a Med/Surg hospital floor does not need to be your only option. You are a RN. We are a very tiny percentage of the population very much in demand. Treat your career as a trip to the ice cream counter and taste test all you want until you find the flavor YOU love. When the fit is right, nursing is truely magical.
  9. by   ceecel.dee
    It strikes me that your pregnancy comes at a good time! I would worry about you job hunting with a couple of brief job attempts that may require you to be very creative when this inevitable question comes up: "why did you leave your former employers?". Your baby gives you a very concrete excuse (harsh word towards dear baby...I'm just using it in regards to future job interviews:uhoh21: ) for taking a hiatus. Use the time to regroup, and regain perspective of why you chose nursing as a profession. Call yourself a nurse...visualize yourself as a nurse...you are a nurse!
    Above posters have given you many ideas, outside of the cut-throat and competitive hospital arena. Home care, hospice, clinic nursing, assisted living, occupational nursing can all be lower-key, yet require your knowledge...and you have the knowledge! You got through school and passed boards! You deserve credit for your achievements! You need only find the right venue to practice your trade.
    The New Year is a new start for you! Nursing needs people like you!
  10. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from healer27
    at the moment though i feel like i have this "cloud" of mean people that have appeared at each job so i want to give it some time for i go reapplying for a new job.

    thanks again to everyone for all your suggestions, keep em coming....
    [font="comic sans ms"]i'm going to offer a somewhat different perspective from most of the ones you've gotten. as someone upthread noted, you've mostly gotten responses from folks with relatively few posts and presumably little experience. i've been a nurse for nearly 30 years, and i, too had a tough time at first. i stuck it out, and over time, learned that i had contributed as much (or more) to my negative experiences as had all of those so-called "mean people" i had such problems with.

    as someone with barely six months experience who has changed jobs twice, perhaps you're contributing to your own failures. since i sincerely doubt that there's a "cloud of mean people" who follow you everywhere you go, you might want to give some real thought to what you have contributed to this mess. as i look back, 6 months is just a tiny speck of time, especially when you consider the time, effort and money you spent to become a nurse.

    i hope you will give this some time and consideration rather than dismiss me as just another mean person.
  11. by   RobCPhT
    Nurses do eat their young. I don't know why anyone thinks it's acceptable. If you don't like bedside nursing have you thought about other positions? You can work for insurance companies, you could coordinate services, or do patient teaching and many more things. The world of nursing is not limited to a med/surg floor. Don't let this one nurse take away something you worked so hard for.
  12. by   Roy Fokker
    My first perceptor was awesome.
    Second one was a bit so-so. But I lucked out because one of the LPNs on the floor was phenomenal and she helped me loads.

    But the staff (bare one or two) of 'em were mostly fantastic and even stood up for me when I had to confront a surgeon.

    8 to 1 sounds "" though - we don't even see that on nights!!!

    Good luck with your future - I only echo the words of the others who have listed "options" and encourage you to maintain your license. But I agree with you - no job is worth ruining your mental and physical health over.

    cheers,
  13. by   oldiebutgoodie
    Quote from ruby vee
    [font="comic sans ms"]i'm going to offer a somewhat different perspective from most of the ones you've gotten. as someone upthread noted, you've mostly gotten responses from folks with relatively few posts and presumably little experience. i've been a nurse for nearly 30 years, and i, too had a tough time at first. i stuck it out, and over time, learned that i had contributed as much (or more) to my negative experiences as had all of those so-called "mean people" i had such problems with.

    as someone with barely six months experience who has changed jobs twice, perhaps you're contributing to your own failures. since i sincerely doubt that there's a "cloud of mean people" who follow you everywhere you go, you might want to give some real thought to what you have contributed to this mess. as i look back, 6 months is just a tiny speck of time, especially when you consider the time, effort and money you spent to become a nurse.

    i hope you will give this some time and consideration rather than dismiss me as just another mean person.
    i understand and respect where you are coming from, ruby vee. i do believe, however, that nursing seems to be unique in the "hazing" of new nurses, and the horizontal violence. i worked in 2 other fields before starting nursing, and i have never been treated so poorly as i have been in nursing, from managers, professors, and unfortunately, other nurses. in other fields i was treated as a professional and as an equal. in nursing i have not.

    frankly, i think the only way the nursing profession will recover from this is for the ana and other nursing organizations to come out against it, and for hospital management to have a zero tolerance policy against horizontal violence. it won't happen, though, because that would make public nursing's dirty little secret.

    oldiebutgoodie

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