hello. just want your opinion on this. my patients and i always get alone great. i get compliments and thanks from my pts and their families every day either verbally or in a thank you card sometimes with cookies or chocolates. it keeps me happy to know that they found the comfort they were looking for. in about oct. of last year i had a pt three days on a role for 13 hours each. she is well known by everyone b/c she is admitted for CHF every 45to 60 days in average. she is on dobutrex pump at home and has gone over statistics that do not predict pt to live any longer than 6-12 months on this med. i had heard her name before as she sends donuts to the station each time she is in, but i had never been her nurse. Apparentle (as she expressed to me ) she was impressed w/ me b/c bla, bla, bla, a bunch of qualities that she donated to me and i am not sure i deserve them. before I went home the third day, she game me a card that she requested i did not open until i got home. i was a beautiful touching card and a gift certificate for her favorite restaurant. i called her at her room briefly thanked her and wished her well. about a month ago she was back and her husband saw me at the station and asked me to go say hi b/c she was asking for me as she had heard my name being paged. i did so and she asked me to write my address on a book filled w/ names. "i am making a party to thank my doctors nurses and family for their support and helping me survive almost a year with this pump that was not expected to give me so much longer, i want you to come" (again she went on and on with compliments). it was very sweet and i cryied when i read the invitation card, jusst to see what a wonderful human been she is and how sad the whole thing is. she invited 3 out of the many nurses who have been taking care of her for years, (i had her once) a few NAs were also invited as well as her cardiology group and medical MD. the party did not take place until Feb 07 b/c we had a snow storm on Dec. 11 when it was schedulled for. She was in twice before the party and i was not her nurse but went o visit for a minute. if i saw that she needed a pillow, transfer to the chair for a meal or any litle thing, i helped making sure at all times not to step on my coworkers toes. once in a while since i gave her my phone and address she calls me and i return her calls b/c she is lonely and she says that my voice injects her with the energy she does not have, she even said once that the day was dark and the sun came in when she heard my voice. i do not call her unless she does, i can't help not calling her back b/c i think "what if she needs help now, what if she is alone and the dobutrex pump is malfuctioning? she is lonely, i can hear it on her weak, sad voice and then when we talk she goes on and on as someone who need love, company and so on. ssshe tells me "you know you can visit any time you want" i know i am not suppossed but it breaks my heart. she has so many questions and fears about how she is expected to die and so on. after the party she sent me the most beautiful thank you car giving me all the credit for the gifts that my 2 coworkers and i bought for her. (it is true that i had a lot to do with it but she figured it out herself and put me in a very high place that i do not deserve. she called me the other day sounding soooo weak, i had to return her call, i mentioned that my daughter made me an amazing surprise party the day before for my birthday and i was telling her how special my daugther is/ today i got a birhtday card filled with compliments and a gift certificate for a restaurant. i love this lady and mostly it hurts me to know that eve with the great attitude she has, she will be deteriorating and will be dying. i try not to get attached but she loves me and feels that i can heal her just by talking to her. i feel guilty when she gives me all those compliments and i which i can tell her she does not need to do that. how could i possible had prevented this. the bottom line is she needs me and can't ignore that :uhoh21: OH God!!! monica
Feb 20, '04
Monica, you don't need to shout in your reply...as nurses we care for patients during some of the most stressful, troubled times in their lives and the fact that some patients feel very close with their staff may help them in their recovery. That being said, I think there is a very valid concern that nurses may unintentionally commit boundary violations and become overly involved with the patient's life. I think you should reread your posts because it's coming across of not only how this patient depends upon your friendship, but how you depend upon this patient as well, to be the friend that doesn't let her down. If she has her husband and a support system, I question then why she's lonely and needs to call you and offer you gratuities...I take it that you posed the question here because you wanted some opinions on the subject, but you must realize that you will receive a variety of opinions, some of which you may like and some that you don't. While there may be a concern that you'll "hurt her feelings", your duty as a professional dictates that you may address her emotions with respect and kindness, while reestablishing the boundaries of your relationship.
Last edit by Gldngrl on Feb 20, '04