gender as a qualification - page 3

I work as a L&D nurses and would love to hear others experiences, advice and opinions on males in this area. My patients love me and am told often by them that i am the best nurse they ever had. I... Read More

  1. by   live4today
    WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Much clarification is needed here in regards to my last comments to Salmi. First of all, Salmi, please accept my sincere apology for assuming you lived in America. I hadn't a clue where Oman was. Please, I did not intend to offend you here. and NO, I do NOT assume every poster on this site is living in America. I DO WELCOME the responses and diversity of beliefs, absolutely. If I came across as not being 'open', I ask for you all to forgive me. I enjoy learning about different cultures, etc. I'm all for mankind breeching the gap between cultures so that we come to a better understanding of one another. Peace and love can only be shared between cultures when we are accepting of one another's upbringing. My own family is much too diversified in culture and various ethnic groups for me not to care about ALL mankind.


    donmurray and bungies,

    First, donmurray, thank you for being the one to share with me where Oman is from. I truly did not know...my mistake for not asking where Oman was. Shows you how little I know about that region of our world. I never was good in history or geography, so thanks again for the much needed lesson on geography.

    Also, donmurray and bungies,

    I have lived in Germany as a military spouse for three years. I loved the country. I even took a class in German so I could learn some of the language because I know Germans appreciated it when my husband and I greeted them initially in their own language. I found the German people in Augsburg to be extremely friendly, and the people in Frankfurt to be "less friendly".

    While living abroad, my husband and I ate at every foreign restaurant we could so that we could get a taste of the diversity of food in Europe. We ate Italian, Greek, German, Oriential, and on occasion, a burger from McDonalds. We went on volksmarches with the German people so we could be with them and learn from them. We tried our best to become as German as we could during our three year stay.

    When you say that Americans bring their culture with them when they come overseas, it is not true of all Americans. Many Americans do try and "live as the Romans do" when they travel to a country other than our own. When you mention all the American food companies located in your area, you are not referring to "all Americans", but to American businesses that expand their services abroad as well as at home. Do NOT judge all Americans as only wanting to remain American even away from home just because many American businesses are located where you live. They are there for a profit just like any other business from any other country.

    We would all do well not to judge one another based on where we live. I have already made my apology to Salmi for not being more aware of "where" Oman is before I made my comments to him about him living in America where he does not even live. So, I am going to do everything in my power to sustain from passing judgement, and be more open and receptive to learning about places I'm totally unfamiliar with.

    If you'll recall, I did ask Salmi to share with us about his beliefs because I sincerely want to learn of them. Salmi, thank you for the website, and I will definitely go there and read up on your culture. Thanks for sharing that with me. Now, I understand why you believe men should not be in L&D because it is a cultural thing for you. I am not, nor will I, judge you on that belief because that is the way you were raised to believe. I acknowledge your beliefs. I do validate you as a very worthy human being and a wonderful nurse in your country. Just as I would have a difficult time coming to Oman to work as a nurse with my western teaching, you would probably have a difficult time coming to America and working as a nurse with your cultural teachings about separation of men and women when they are not family kin, especially when male nurses in our country do work with female patients.

    I love working with male nurses. Some of the best nurses and nurse managers that I have ever worked with are male.

    As for sharing a bathroom with men? I would not!

    I sure hope this long message clears up any misunderstanding that was relayed in my post. I certainly am not here to offend anyone, but to learn all I can from each person who post here, whether you are from America or not. I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE HERE SHARING WITH US! Thank you all for your understanding and acceptance of my sincere apology.

    ____________________________________________

    " I AM NOT AFRAID OF STORMS FOR I AM LEARNING HOW TO SAIL MY SHIP (THROUGH EACH STORM)" -- Louisa May Alcott
    Last edit by live4today on Jan 21, '02
  2. by   bungies
    That's fine, Renee; I didn't mean to insult you either.
    The comment to Salmi about welcoming his perspective wasn't meant to be pointed, or a dig at you; it was just that if everyone was against me I'd arc up and/or feel like it wasn't worth posting here anymore.
    You possibly don't feel like that, Salmi, but I've been enjoying the post, and it's good to have a different perspective to bring out deeper thought about why we believe what we do. It's hard to try to step outside of our own cultural perspective to examine what we're trying to say. There are enough Western women who would prefer a female L&D nurse - I just don't happen to be one of them.

    Norbert [Sorry, I originally typed 'Don' here - too many late shifts], I'm truly sorry that you've been shown that kind of prejudice by people who don't appreciate good work, too. Makes me steamed to think about it.
    Last edit by bungies on Jan 23, '02
  3. by   donmurray
    Apologies here too Renee, that was a wild stereotyping generalisation
  4. by   live4today
    Thank you bungies and donmurray for your acceptance of my apologies. I also sent Salmi a private email message to personally apologize to him for my ignorance in not knowing where Oman was. Now that I know, I can understand him so much better.

    I, too, am enjoying this post a great deal and certainly would not want to isolate anyone from sharing from their heart and their own cultural upbringing. Afterall, this is one way of many that we can learn from those who live around the globe from us that we may never get a chance to meet, or visit their country. The diversity of people here helps me to envision what life is like for others where they live in the culture they were raised in and why they hold the beliefs that they do. THIS post IS educational for me! Thanks to all of you for your contributions on this subject. I'm learning, too!

    Also, I did click on to the website that Salmi mentioned in his post here (www.islamfortoday.com/michaelwolfe.htm) and found it to be very insightful and educational. I read quite a few articles listed there. I highly recommend that website for those of you who may be curious about learning or grasping a better understanding of Salmi's culture and religious beliefs. Thanks, Salmi, for telling us about it!

    ______________________________________________

    "If we look hard enough, we can find hidden clues that help explain how a person ends up differently from what we might expect." -- George E. Vaillant, M.D.
  5. by   victoreia
    I think male nurses should be able to work in any nursing area they want just as female nurses should be able to. Um a few of these replies were somewhat... different.. Like what do toilets have to do with L&D? If men have their places and females only have theirs we women would all be home having babies still. Women were once and I am sure still are discriminated against for a lot of professional choices they make ( ie sports news castors) (so sue me for poor spelling)But we faught for equal rights and so should male nurses!! Vicki RN
  6. by   mark_LD_RN
    Hi , Thanks for all the support everyoneI recently signed a contract to work 3 days a week in L&D and postpartum at a local hospital, and now also work full time in L&D at another hospital. So I am working 6 days a week in an area I love. I was offered the contract by the manager there I did not have to ask! So many of my patients had such good things to say about me that she said she had to meet me in person and wanted me to work there more often. My patients still love me as much as ever, I am continuously told how good or nice I am, several a couple told me I was "awesome" others have told me I was the best nurse they ever had. you can see things are looking up for me. THANKS again for all the support. please keep writing.mark
  7. by   CATHYW
    Alllll riiighht! Thumbs up, Mark! What is you do that makes your patients so admiring? Do you spend time with them, teach them and their SO's, explain everything, have a gentle touch? When I was a student, I saw female nurses be so indifferent to the mother (as in, here we go again) that it was almost embarrassing. Whatever it is you are doing, you must be using the right recipe!
  8. by   live4today
    Congrats to you Mark_LD_RN!!! I wish nothing but the best for you! I'm sure you will be a wonderful and positive asset at your new job!
  9. by   mark_LD_RN
    Thanks renee and cathy for your support, It would be terrific if all nurses could feel the same way. I find most nurses accept me once they get to know me. I am sure enjoying my new jobs. it sure beats doing just agency work like i was. Now I get to work almost exclusively in the area I like.
    Cathy you are right, I have seen some nurses treat patients like they just did not care or if it was a lot of trouble for them. I work with some that hate when a couple tries to do natural child birth, I actually prefer them. sure they are more work but it is a great experience.
    I feel my patients can really telll That I am sincere, really do care and very compassionate about my work. I am very gentle, and will do anything I can for my patients. I love to spend time with them teaching and helping. Like to intereact with the families especially the SO. I find the SO is so grateful to be included.
    I was so flattered yesterday, one of my patients told me I reminded her of Patch Adams. She said I am so caring and funny, that she could tell I really cared. It makes me feel very good when patients tell me such nice things.
    thanks again,mark
  10. by   Zhakrin
    Just a question.

    Why is renee appolging for not knowing where Oman is? As a student nurse and Paramedic if I said I was sorry everytime I learned a new fact, I would not have time to study all that vastly important statistics the shove down our holes.

    Accept that you will never know everything.
    Acknowledge when someone teaches you something new.
    Move on.

    BTW there are lots of towns and cities in the US that are simular to names of towns in Canada. So mistakes can happen anytime.
  11. by   live4today
    Hello Zhakrin,

    Thanks for wanting to know why I apologize when I am wrong. It is my faith that teaches me to forgive and seek forgiveness when a wrong occurs. If I talk the talk, I must walk the walk. Hope that answers your question.
  12. by   RNKitty
    Originally posted by mark_LD_RN
    Hi , Thanks for all the support everyoneI recently signed a contract to work 3 days a week in L&D and postpartum at a local hospital, and now also work full time in L&D at another hospital. So I am working 6 days a week in an area I love. I was offered the contract by the manager there I did not have to ask! So many of my patients had such good things to say about me that she said she had to meet me in person and wanted me to work there more often. My patients still love me as much as ever, I am continuously told how good or nice I am, several a couple told me I was "awesome" others have told me I was the best nurse they ever had. you can see things are looking up for me. THANKS again for all the support. please keep writing.mark
    Good for you Mark. I am amazed you found a position. The only time I have worked with male OB nurses was at a military hospital. When they went civilian, they couldn't get hired, even with experience! One manager actually had the guts to say the patients wouldn't feel comfortable with a male nurse. Can you imagine the lawsuit she possibly set herself up for?

    We need more good nurses in L&D - let's not overlook them simply for gender.
  13. by   kaycee
    Mark,
    My pregnancy days are long over but I would have been lucky having someone like you taking care of me during one of the most memorable moments of my life, the births of my kids. Keep up the good work and I hope more guys can follow in your footsteps!!
    Lynne

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