gay partner's visiting

  1. Have you ever prevented a gay significant other from visiting an inpatient?
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  2. 25 Comments

  3. by   fergus51
    No. Our gay partners or co-parents are considered the same as a hetero couple.
  4. by   jnette
    I couldn't imagine why..........??? Could you be more specific ?
  5. by   vickynurse
    As you have no doubt heard, there is a huge national debate going on about gay marriage. I have heard on many occasions on TV that "some nurse wouldn't let me visit my gay partner because we aren't married". I personally have never seen this happen and can't imagine what marriage or sexual orientation has to do with who visits whom in the hospital. Personally I don't care who marries whom either. I just don't like my profession being characterized in a negative manner like this.
  6. by   fergus51
    I know it has hapenned in our ICUs and during the whole SARS thing. Some units only allow "family" and some nurses have a very limited definition of that word. I have found that nursing has more than its share of bigotted people.
  7. by   canoehead
    Hell, we don't even prevent their third cousin twice removed, why would we stop their gay partner?

    We draw the line at pets though.
    ...OK therapy pets are OK....
    well, I suppose a personal pet that's been screened would be OK....
    ...well if it's the weekend and they are in a private room, just this once, without being screened...

    FRIGGIT...just shut the door and clean up your own mess!
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    DING!
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    Can I help you?
    Yes, my dog had an accident, and the housekeeper wouldn't clean it up! I can't believe the service in this place! Let me talk to the charge nurse.
  8. by   fergus51
    NOOOOOOOO.... You're making me nostalgic for my days in the US Canoehead.... Ah.... nursing as a customer service profession....... I think I prefer SARS!
  9. by   Agnus
    We let, thier neighbor visit, thier, co worker, thier boss, spouse, family of all sorts, and anyone else you can think of. Why on earth would anyone prevent a life partner of any persuasion not visit. UNLESS THE PATIENT SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED THAT THEY NOT BE ALLOWED.

    Heck I have even see it where the wife and girl friend visited at the same time.
    Last edit by Agnus on Mar 8, '04
  10. by   unikuelady
    I guess my partner and I were lucky. My partner needed what we thought would be routine arthroscopic gall bladder surgery. We went together for the pre-admission paperwork to be filled out. The Admission clerk was very nice to us, made sure that all the paperwork was filled out completely and that I was named as the next of kin. On the day of surgery, I was allowed to stay with her until she was taken to the OR. The nurses were very nice to us. When my partner was in recovery she became very vocal and wanted her "wife" to be with her. The charge nurse came and got me from the waiting room. I was able to calm her down and give the staff a reprieve from her causing a ruckus. The Surgeon came and talked with me about the surgery. It ended up that the gallbladder was severly infected and that she needed to stay on IV abx in the hospital. The MED/SURG staff were also very nice to us...I could tell they were overworked and understaffed and I volunteered to assist with personal care. We never once had a bad or degrading comment made to us for being "gay". Upon discharge from the hospital I wrote a thank you note to the staff for treating my partner and I with the same respect as everyone else.

    On The Other Hand......I have worked with so-called "professionals" that refuse to care for a homosexual patient if it is known). Fortunately most of the Nurses and Doctors that I have worked with don't care.

    Is there anyone out there willing to admit that they do not like or will not care for a homosexual patient? If so....then please explain why!
  11. by   sjoe
    If a blood family relative decides to intervene (and the patient has not previously filled out the appropriate paperwork--read: Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare, etc.) that blood relative can often forbid the hospital from permitting any particular person from visiting, and certainly from having a say in the treatment. Ditto for funeral arrangements, etc. Some families HATE their relative's gay/lesbian partners and/or friends and don't hesitate to have them kept away. In fact, they glory in it.

    Some healthcare providers refuse to respect and provide adequate care for gay patients, particularly if they have AIDS, since "it is God's will that they suffer and die, and unpleasantly at that, for their sins." There is no shortage of self-righteousness in nursing, as there is none elsewhere.
  12. by   traumaRUs
    In the midwest where I work, we have several gay couples employed in the ER. I don't think its an issue here. At least in the almost 8 years I've been here - it hasn't been.
  13. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from sjoe
    If a blood family relative decides to intervene (and the patient has not previously filled out the appropriate paperwork--read: Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare, etc.) that blood relative can often forbid the hospital from permitting any particular person from visiting, and certainly from having a say in the treatment. Ditto for funeral arrangements, etc. Some families HATE their relative's gay/lesbian partners and/or friends and don't hesitate to have them kept away. In fact, they glory in it.

    Some healthcare providers refuse to respect and provide adequate care for gay patients, particularly if they have AIDS, since "it is God's will that they suffer and die, and unpleasantly at that, for their sins." There is no shortage of self-righteousness in nursing, as there is none elsewhere.
    That may be true sjoe but it is a very small percentage. I live in a small rural community with a small rural hospital and we have never encountered the type of behavior you describe.

    I too do not like the characterization made by people who do not take the time to research their statements that nurses would try to keep gay partners out of hospital rooms. Like someone said, someone's third cousin or the neighbor down the street or their mailman can come in to visit. And, I have snuck in a patient's dog . . . . usually on the weekends when the big bosses are gone. It helps them so much and have never had a dog "void".

    I've had deliveries where mom, dad, mom-in-law, dad-in-law, brother, 3 year old daughter and 3 year old niece have all been in the room.

    I just don't think this is such a big issue . . it may happen in isolated cases but isn't the norm.

    steph
  14. by   fergus51
    I think issues like this certainly aren't limited to rural or "Christian" areas. I work in a large, urban, diverse center and there are several nurses who don't hide their disdain for certain patients (and HIV seems to be a major issue). I got into it with one nurse about it... "Are you going to have sex with the baby? Share IV drugs? No? Then you're good, don't be a jackass"....

    I think the real issue is power of attorney for those who can't speak for themselves. I think that's an issue for everyone. If you are in a relationship and want that person to make decisions instead of a family member, you need to get it in writing.

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