First death

[jschut]

Well, I had my first death to contend with on Monday. I went to work at 7p, was passing my pills and when I got to this lady's door, I heard her talking. Now, it wasn't that she was really talking, but I heard her voice, but couldn't understand what she was saying, so I peeked in and I saw her foot twitch a bit, so I thought she was dreaming (the curtain was pulled and I could only see her foot at this time).

when I finished drawing up her insulin, I took her medicine and went in to her. I found her completely unresponsive and her coloring was a gray, ashy look. She had deep abdominal breathing with periods of apnea in between. Not long periods, but enough that you notice.

I went and got the other nurse who was on duty with me, and she came and told me that the lady, my patient was breathing her last breaths...but she said to go call the doctor and let him know. By the time I came from calling the answering service, the other nurse told me that my patient was gone. She passed at 8:50p that night.

It was quite a shock to witness, I'll admit, but I htink I handled it alright.

I called her family, couldn't get ahold of them, so I called the funeral home about 11p to come and get her body.

Her son returned my phone call at 1:20a.

I hated telling him that his mother had passed away 4 hours before.

Such a sad, sad situation......:stone

[Tookie]

Julie

No it isnt easy but as you reflect on your care and think about the impact your care made - this may be only a little smile or a big impact - your care will have enhanced the person's life - and that is what nursing is about.

tak a big breath - think OK that is one hurdle l have survivied - Now to conitue to make impressions on people lives for the best - this may mean that they die it may - mean that go home You will always know that you have don thebest that you can do.

Cheers

Tookie

[jschut, BSN, RN]

I appreciate all of you and your caring words... thank you.

I think the saddest part about this lady passing was that she had just turned 70, but had renal failure. Bless her heart, it was time for her to go. She would go to dialysis 3 X a week and the fluid couldn't be drawn off anymore... I hated seeing her go day after day without what seemed but a drop to drink.

Knowing this and having to watch her suffer are probably what made it easier on me. To know and understand that she really is better off.

Her son wanted to speak with me the next day (I wasn't there), so he left a message with another lady saying to thank me for the kind way I handled his Mothers death, and that he appreciated me.

Julie :)

[renerian, BSN, RN]

It is so hard. Sometimes people are so sad or overwhelmed with grief. It is hard on the person telling and getting the information. Hard but necessary part of our job. Sounds like you stayed calm. Good job.

renerian

[Scooby365]

Julie, one thing I always try to remember, after many years of Long Term Care nursing and even after quite a few years in th ER. Part of our purpose is to assist the patient in living life with the highest Quality possible, but when life is no longer possible and the time comes, our purpose should focus on the comfort and the dignity of their death. Our own sadness or tears just shows that we are...and must be, caring individuals.

[jschut, BSN, RN]

I agree wholeheartedly with you Scooby.

Thanks renerian, to you and Scooby for your thought and kind words.... :)

It was difficult, but I made it through.

[TKOLRN, BSN, RN]

I started nursing school in 1984. I can still remember the name of my first patient, his diagnosis, even the room number he was in. I could pick him out of a lineup of people to this day.

By the same token, I too can remember my first death with the same vivid detail you describe yours in. Sadly, after 16 years, I can remember almost EVERY death I have dealt with; perhaps not names, but details yes!

It gets easier to deal with, but not easier to accept. The memories of a father yelling at us "I brought him here so you could help him and you did nothing" as his baby boy died on us still haunts me to this day. How do you begin to explain to that father that two hours of work could not save his baby?

Those are the things I hate about nursing! They never go away.