Fear vs Gut instinct...need advice... - page 2

Here is my dilemma. I left my worker's comp case management job in January b/c I could not take the traveling, esp to unsafe cities at night, etc... Since I had never resigned my Home Health job,... Read More

  1. by   researchrabbit
    If your gut says no, then you should probably go with your gut.
  2. by   Agnus
    Put your own peace of mind and your family first. Better jobs will be there later when you are ready.
    I remember how long it seems until your kids will be on thier own. But really it is not long at all. The jobs will always be there. Your daughter NEEDs your attention NOW not in 4 years.
    As you suggested a lot can happen in a few hours. She will not always need you this much but she does now. You are a smart Cookie you know you do need to follow your gut and not the job at this time.

    The sad thing is not enough parents undersand that our teens need their parents more than ever as you do.
    Last edit by Agnus on Feb 25, '03
  3. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hoolahan.... just got to this thread today. I gotta say, I'm a gut feeling kind of girl, and agree that your family and your feelings about them would come first.

    The way I look at it, you can job hope for another10, 20, 30 years (cause I know you have it in you!), but that family is irreplacable.

    It's not the daughter having alone time that bothers me, because I think that kids DO need time alone, to test the waters, and to sometimes get in a little trouble to learn a lesson about responsibility. What bothers me is how far away you'll be if something should happen.

    Good luck hool, keep us updated!

    Heather
  4. by   night owl
    The well being and safety of our children must come first in this day and age, but that's just my opinion. I too have a daughter that will be in high school next year and the next three after that. When she goes off to college, I'll still worry about her, but for now she's mine and I intend to haunt her until she goes. I am responsible for her. She is the only daughter I have and I wanna keep her for a long, long time. I am her mother. I will always be her mother and I'll guide her for as long as she lets me. Some days she hates me, some days she just loves me to death.(Usually when she wants something) BUT on the other hand you have to let her crawl before she can walk. She learns to crawl and then she learns to walk. It's the running that makes me nervous. She falls and you help her up. Eventually she learns to be cautious, but only with your help of picking her up a few times, brushing her off and letting her go once again. The great and wonderful jobs will be there in a few years when you're ready to let her go on her own, but for now she's yours. Guide her, protect her and cherish her even if and when she makes those mistakes. Oh, and you're not being the over protective fool like I am! After all, isn't that our job? Don't I sound like an old sap??? Now I know I AM MY MOTHER!
  5. by   Momto3RN
    Hoolahan, your gut feeling is significant!

    My mom had to work while I was a teenager and how I wish she could have been home. I would've avoided so much trouble and made MUCH better choices!

    I know it's not glamorous to be home but it really is the best thing you can do for your children, ESPECIALLY during the teen years!! Just your presence will have a significant impact on their lives!
  6. by   P_RN
    Hoolahan.....this old Mama here wishes her gut feeling had prevailed. I worked the whole teen years of both my children.

    Our girl did fine, our boy.......almost/could have/might have etc. had terrible outcomes........I should have stayed home.

    Stay where you are needed.
  7. by   Q.
    Hi Linda,
    Just saw this thread today. Been postin' elsewhere, you know.

    Anyway, I'm not a parent and can't relate to those issues, but I can relate to the hesitation with accepting a job, and the nagging feeling that if you don't, you'll miss on some great opportunity.

    That "opportunity" that I also didn't want to pass up, besides feeling unsure about taking it - was my current job - that I am in now and desperately want to get out of.

    As you know, I've been a professional interviewee now for the last 7 months of my life. I've job hopped as well for various reasons - pay, hours, safety issues, etc. But the last time I felt "unsure" about taking a leap was with this job and....I hate it and almost in a way regret it.
    The hours are flexiblel and it's a great experience, but my gut instinct proved me right in the end.

    If I could do it over again, I would have passed on this job, stuck it out at my old place and waited until my "perfect" or near perfect job came about - rather than adding yet another employer to my already long list.
  8. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by Susy K
    As you know, I've been a professional interviewee now for the last 7 months of my life.
    Oh, now that's just too funny!
  9. by   ktwlpn
    [QUOTE]Originally posted by hoolahan
    [MY new job is 35 min from home, 8a to 6p 4 days a week, no w/e no holidays, no nights. But, there is this nagging feeling that I will lose all control of my teenage dtr if I go through with this job. They would get home from school at 3:30 and my hubby gets home at 4pm, but next yr she will be in HS and get done at 2:30, and hour-and-a-half is plenty of time to get itno trouble when you are 14 (And God help me if she is anything like I was at her age...let's just say I was no angel and leave it at that!) Am I nuts?


    Not nuts at all IMHO-you are putting the welfare of your daughter first.Unless you can find some kind of aftershool program for teens that she'll agree to I don't see that you really have any other choice...Teenagers get knocked up and doped up between the hours of 2 and 6 at an alarming rate.I turned down an Monday through Friday 9 to 5 position for the same reason...
  10. by   Agnus
    Yep those are precisly the hours a good friend's daughter got a belly full. I was unfortunately the one who caught her in the act.
    Could I do anything. NO I was "not her mother." Of course my friend did do something when he found out from me, but by that time it was too late.
  11. by   hoolahan
    ktwlpn, I will always have that commercial in my head about the peak time for drug abuse in teens is between the hours of 2 and 6pm.

    Oh man, it killed me, but I turned down the excellent job!! I am soooooo freaking sick of working weekends, but oh well. I can work 12 hr weekends in the summer, and a parent will be home w them every day!

    I also have an interview w a very small workers comp cm company, and I can do some per diem work during the school year, so at least I won't feel so stuck in my present HH job.

    AND Shelby won't need a foley (the dog)

    Thanks to everyone for all of your support and opinions, it really did help.
  12. by   Repat
    Hoolahan, way off the subject, but I love your 'make love not war' - thank you!!!!
  13. by   hoolahan
    It is very important to me, so much so that I removed my sweet doggie avatar.

    If anyone else wants to use the pic as well, feel free, I didn't design it. I have a funny anti-Bush one, but didn't think that would go over too well. I may decide to use it at some point anyway!

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